This Mirror Isn't Big Enough: Chapter 1

Title: This Mirror isn't Big Enough
Prompt: Bank Job
Medium: Fic
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: mild violence, suggestive adult themes (past events)
Spoilers: Bank Job, End of Nights
Summary: Kate didn't take the money, how did that really make her feel?
Characters/Pairings: Kate Freelander
Disclaimer: I do not own Sanctuary. This is a non-profit, fan work.
**Author's note: end of fic are lyrics from the My Chemical Romance Song, "Honey, This Mirror Isn't Big Enough for the Two Of Us" off of Bullets, title is a tribute to that


”All that money, and you didn’t even take any. Isn’t that depressing?”

***
Kate headed back to her room, the doc’s words echoing in her head.

You’re damn right it’s depressing!

Kate turned and looked in the mirror, her reflection glared back, What on Earth is wrong with you?”

“Nothing, there wasn’t a reason to take any, besides, we were busy,”Kate sat on her bed.

Oh, I see, so we’re just worried about the job now, is that it? What about taking care of us!

“There’s nothing to take care of!” Kate yelled. She fell back in her bed and put a pillow over her ears.

Yeah, good luck with that, didn’t work when you were ten, it won’t work now.

“I can try, can’t I?” Kate hid more.

And what has trying ever gotten you? Ever gotten us? Pain and being broke, just like we are now.

Kate wanted to scream, “So? We’ve got a place here!”

Oh, is that what you think this is? You think this place is your home? The reflection laughed loudly, You could never live in a place like this. Face it, you’re here to be used, just like ever other place. Once they find a better replacement for blondey, you’ll be gone, just like that!

“Don’t say that!” Kate threw her phone at the mirror, making it crack, only now her reflection was multiplied.

Why? It’s the truth, isn’t it? You’re a hired gun, that’s what you’re good at.

Kate felt her eyes prick with tears.

That’s all you’ll ever be. A tool, something to be used. You’re good at being used, aren’t you Kate? At least this boss is only using you to be a gun, not something else like some of the others, but you’re still a tool.

“Stop it!” Kate screamed, “That’s not like that, Magnus isn’t like that!”

All the reflection laughed harshly, Prove it. Ask to leave.

“I don’t want to,” Kate turned her back on the mirror as tears slid down her cheeks.

You think they care? Is that it?

Kate didn’t answer.

The reflections laughed louder, you do? Wow, you haven’t fallen for the ‘we care about you’ crap in a long time. What makes them so different?

“They aren’t like everyone else, they want to help people,” Kate wiped at her eyes, trying to make the cursed tears stop.

So do doctors, they’ve never done anything for us!

“Shut up!” Kate screamed and turned, “they aren’t like anyone else! I have a chance, a real chance to not have to steal or hurt to have a place to stay and be safe!”

Safe? This place is safe? They keep monsters!

“They aren’t, monsters,” Kate’s voice was firm as she walked over to the mirror, “they’re people, they’re better than any people I’ve ever known on the outside because they give a damn, because they aren’t afraid to do the right thing for a change!.”

Really? Is that what you think? Man, I guess they’ve duped you good.

“No more!” Kate slammed her fists into the mirror, shattering it completely, the pieces falling onto her dresser as the last of the reflections laughed but finally disappeared.

Kate panted as she looked at the pieces, her gloves having kept most of it from her hands, they were so small, they didn’t reflect anymore, or were at least too cracked for the larger ones.

Kate closed her eyes as she caught her breath and got her heart to slow back down.

Her life was only big enough for her now, and she’d give it all she had, all or nothing.
 

*~*
I'll choose the life I've taken, never mind the friends I'm making
And the beauty that I'm faking lets me live my life like this