Portal Posi Boss Battle: Snake Skin Guise

Prompt #10: With all the news outlets in the Paperverse focused on the hunt for Posi, snake themed attire has become all the rage! Draw or write about your character picking out or making their own serpent related clothing.

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“So we think… The brown, cream, and tan argyle print sweater with the cream pant?” A pair of transparent hands pulled the aforementioned pair of pants off of the rack and held them up for the others to see. “We could add some of those chunky bracelets we saw in the display case.” 

 

“Oh! To make a rattle? That could be fun~ Although…” taking the pants and holding them up to his hips, the blue-haired vampire sighed, “these probably won’t fit me. What about you?” 

 

He held the pants towards the third member of their little group, who slowly shook his head. 

 

“Meh… not feeling it.” Gabi held his hands up as the first man took the pants back and hung them up, clearly disappointed. “I mean… I like rattlesnakes as much as the next person, but… why would we go with a neutral-tone snake when we can go with something more dazzling?” 

 

“I guess you’re right,” Liam Harclay grumbled with a sigh. “But the men’s section here is pretty well stripped out.” 

 

“So much for finding second-hand gems, right?”Aras chuckled, lightly elbowing Gabi in the bicep. “Looks like we’ll have to go retail after all…” 

 

“But that shit’s so expensive.” 

 

The plant-man crossed his arms and frowned, looking up and down the rows of thrifted clothes, trying to find something. After all, “snake” was the theme of the month, and he couldn’t be caught lacking. … But he wasn’t the only one who had that thought, apparently. 

 

Liam was right. Everything that was beaded, sequined, textured, or glittery was straight up gone. All that was left were the plain, the drab, or the horribly ugly.

 

“Fine…” his shoulders sagged. “Let’s just-” 

 

Oh, holdup… 

 

“Wait, there’s a section we haven’t checked yet!” 

 

The other two watched skeptically for a second as the pink ponytail bobbed away, visible even as Gabi half-jogged his way towards the wall on the other side of the shop. Aras craned his neck, and Liam floated up a couple of feet to see what the speedy shopper was up to. . 

 

“… Does he really think he’s going to fit into an old prom dress? They’re all so musty, too,” Liam murmured, casting a skeptical glance at the vampire, only to see that his smile had grown substantially.

“I mean, if he can fit, I’d say let him. At least we’ll get a laugh if he tries some of them on.” 

 

Liam's eyes narrowed, and he slowly nodded. He didn't know what the vampire had in mind, but with Aras, it always paid to be patient.

 

“Even if it’s ugly, the right vision can take a hot mess to haute couture!” Gabi called from across the store, garnering stares from a couple of judgemental older people as he came flouncing back with a small mountain of dresses over his arms. “... And I got some for you both to try, too!” 

 

“Nah… I’d rip the arms off,” Aras laughed. “Besides, if I didn’t let Celeste style me, she’d take it out on some poor sap or another. … Not that I mind, but I do love the way she works.” 

 

“Aww… What about you, Liam?” 

 

Liam shook a hand at the offered dresses with a derisive laugh. 

 

“I’d rather go with the ‘boring’ rattlesnake outfit, thank you. I’m not my brother.” 

 

“Okaaaay…” Gabi sighed, slumping off towards the dressing rooms. “I guess I’ll just try them on by myself…” 

 

“You think you’re going to get away from us that easily?” Aras cackled, grabbing the stack of dresses. “Come on. We’ll help you.”

…

Shortly later, the strip mall was filled with shouting, and laughter. Eyewitnesses would later tell of  two men scooting out of the local thrift store with a quickness, cackling like mad as a third person, dressed in an high-neck, iridescent, blue-black gown with a sky-high slit hauled ass after them, only to be stopped by the elderly shopkeeper, who must have been a track star in their younger years. Even desperate cries of, “It’s not coming off!” didn’t seem to give the merchant pause as they hauled the man back to the store by the scruff of his neck, presumably to pay.

 

The troublemakers were never found, but the shoplifter was released a short time later, still in the dress he unwittingly stole… almost, at least.