The Link: Snake and Fox: Boredom Kings

 

The Link

Chapter VIII: Boredom Kings

 

It was nearing Christmas, and Naruto was not feeling good being stuck in Tsunades house while the most anticipated holiday was approaching. He missed Ichirakis special ramen, and for the first time in his life he wont be having a well-deserved Christmas party with lots of food and gifts to boot. To cap it off, he was assigned as the laundry boy. Eyes narrowed and jaws jutting out in familiar annoyance, Naruto crouched in one of the corners of the house, a big basin of water in front of him along with a pack of powdered soap and a mountainous pile of clothes.

 

Naruto had no problem washing clothes he knew how to do his own laundry; Iruka had taught him that but the pile of wash that waited for him was just amazing. And ninety percent of the laundry he was about to do belonged to Neji. Naruto thought that hed have problems at least with Orochimaru (bandages or no), but this was the only time he found out that the certain Hyuuga was very particular with clothes. And Naruto could not even begin to fathom why Neji changed so much; it was winter, for gods sakes!

 

There was a creak as a door slid open, but Naruto did not bother seeing who it was. Instead, the fox huffed in annoyance and emptied half of the packet of soap into the basin and dipped his hands into it to start up the bubbles.

 

Orochimaru crouched down by Narutos right side, watching silently as the blonde separated the colored shirts from the white ones. Truth be told the Serpent was getting alarmed in spite of himself. Lately he grew nervous if Naruto was not in his range of vision. This eccentric feeling of wanting to keep the boy safe at all times was starting to frighten him. Apart from that, he was growing soft. He was starting to experience warm and fuzzy emotions that he could not put a name to, and flashbacks from his happier days started haunting his mind.

 

Orochimaru wanted to get away, he was desperate to break the link (but he did not want to die!) but at the same time, a part of him secretly wished that Tsunade and Kabuto would take a year at most to solve their problem. He thought he was going mad. It seemed the only logical explanation for what was happening to him. And his arms waking him in the middle of the night was not exactly helpful.

 

Egad, spaghetti stains! Naruto wrinkled his nose as he lifted Jiraiyas shirt, the one with a horrible red patch on it. Darn perverted old hermit, just because someone else does his laundry for him... the fox ground his teeth in annoyance.

 

You might want to try some bleach or boiling water on that one. Orochimaru suggested timidly.

 

Muttering complaints under his breath, Naruto stood up to look for the bottle of bleach. A second later and the fox was immersed in soap bubbles, scrubbing and rinsing furiously while mumbling about promises of revenge in the near future. Orochimaru just sat in his corner, watching as he hugged his knees.

 

Howre your arms? Naruto piped up suddenly. Neji said he heard you whimpering in the bathroom last night...

 

Orochimaru did not answer. Naruto rinsed off the bubbles and looked at the Serpents hands. There were small patches of red on the bandages, but those were normal. That was all and Naruto resumed washing the clothes.

 

Scrub more gently, will you? Youre hurting me. Orochimaru snapped.

 

Naruto eyed him askance and stuck his tongue out. Shut up!

 

 

 

Jiraiya tapped his pen impatiently on the empty notebook he was holding. The hermit was lounging in the kitchen floors, trying furiously to write something for his one hundredth Icha Icha book. No matter how hard he tried, his brain refused to give him anything. Only the frustrated dream of having Orochimaru as the cover girl kept surfacing in his mind.

 

Neji was frowning lightly as he watched the Sannin hurl his pen against the wall. Chuckling lightly, the Hyuuga bent over the brownie cubes he was trying to cook over the fire. The white-eyed bishounen fumbled for the bamboo blowing tube. Strange though it may seem, Neji enjoyed being part of the eccentric household. Back in the Hyuuga mansion in Konoha capital, he could not put his cooking skills to the test because nobody allowed him and Hinata to do chores for themselves. Now he got the free reign he had always wanted.

 

Oi, Neji, can you do the Sexy no Jutsu? Jiraiya asked suddenly.

 

The Hyuuga paused. A perfect eyebrow rose. No, he replied. But even if I did, I wont do it for you.

 

Jiraiya sighed in defeat and went outside to smoke on his pipe. Neji shook his head. Sometimes that Sannin gets too desperate he decides to pick on me. Of course he already had a shrewd measure of Jiraiyas capabilities thanks to Naruto and Orochimaru, but if ever the Sannin did try to push the topic further...Neji could always do his Kaiten and Jyuuken if needed.

 

Blowing to the charcoals, Neji started to hum as he waited for his brownies to finish. He wondered if it made a difference in taste; baking them in the oven and out on open fire.

 

 

Shizune was running down the snowy streets, her jacket slipping off her right shoulder. She roughly pushed away a Genin that barred her path and did not bother to shout a sorry for the poor girl. She ran like there was no tomorrow, the scroll she clutched to her chest held tightly in a sweaty palm.

 

Tsunade-sama! Tsunade-sama!

 

Tsunade and Sakura looked up from the charts they were poring on when Shizune burst into the room, panting very hard. Tsunade automatically rose, her eyebrows furrowed together. Sakura was looking from one face to the other, suddenly very alert.

 

You...wont...believe...it... Shizune choked out as she held out a worn and very small scroll.

 

Tsunade grabbed it and opened it. Sakura leapt to her feet and tried to take a peek but Shizune pulled her back to the charts. Tsunade read the scroll in silence. It was the second part of the Yondaimes notes about the Chakra link. The Godaime devoured every detail hungrily.

 

Ah...the Link. In case somebody DID repeat the stupidity after me, fear not for I leave you a clue as to how to end your miseries. I did mention that the link can be severed in the most obvious way. Read this well.

 

As the Link grows in time, so does the tendency to protect and keep each other safe, correct? And out of this develops... Tsunade frowned; the ink was badly blotched and she couldnt understand a thing! She hurried on to the next sentence. ...bonds that not even the strongest...sever...only then...link...dissolve...

 

AARRRGHH! Tsunade yelled in frustration. She pivoted around, glaring. You bought me nothing but rubbish, Shizune!

 

The black-haired medic bit her lower lip. But at least it brings us closer to whatever thing it is! I got that from the Fourths old apartments; you had no idea how I bribed and threatened the wizened landlady just to let me in!

 

Sakura kept silent, but her ears caught everything. Tsunades eyes landed on her. Sakura braced herself.

 

You, girl, out! Lessons over for you! OUT! Tsunade barked, pointing at the door.

 

The pink-haired kunoichi stood up obediently and left without a word, closing the door behind her. Tsunade sat back down and re-unrolled the scroll. This confirms it, Shizune. The Fourth was indeed mad!

 

But Tsunade-sama, we really must do something. The raven-haired medic said urgently. As long as the Kazekage is here, Uchiha and Nara can do whatever they like! We cant let Sasuke see Orochimaru again, and if he finds out his best friend is with Orochimaru -!

 

There was a loud crash outside the doors. Tsunade immediately leapt to her feet and dashed outside.

 

Shizune you big fool! the Godaime shouted over her shoulder. Help me catch that pink-haired dolt! QUICK!

 

But Sakura was already well outside the building, running as if Death itself chased her, her green eyes wide. Naruto is with Orochimaru! Oh my god! Sasuke-kun! We have to save him!

 

The kunoichi rounded the next street, and there, just coming out of a restaurant, were Sasuke, Shikamaru, Kiba, Rock Lee, Gaara and Chouji. Sakuras eyes brightened as she waved her arms frantically.

 

Sasuke-kun! Sasuke-kun!

 

 

 

Orochimaru lifted his golden gaze and turned to Neji and Naruto, who were standing side by side and grinning at him. The Serpent furrowed his brows together and looked at the colored mat on the tatami floor. The mat was plugged into the weird box Neji had fetched from his own house, and this box in turn was plugged into the television.

 

What am I supposed to do again? Orochimaru asked.

 

Neji gave an exasperated sigh while Naruto cackled. The Hyuuga ran a hand through his silky hair in growing frustration. Here they were, teaching Orochimaru how to play Dance Dance Revolution, but the Sannin seemed to have developed a thick skull. He and Naruto had been explaining for an hour now, but Orochimaru still did not get the hang of it. Neji stepped on the mat.

 

You follow the arrows flashing on the screen, he instructed, not noticing the edge in his voice. Like this, he selected an easy track and demonstrated how to play the game. Orochimaru watched the Hyuugas feet eagerly. See, follow the arrows...and you step on their corresponding places on the mat...sometimes you have to jump...its really very easy. Now do you get it?

 

Orochimaru nodded. I think I do.

 

Good! Now you try! Naruto, can you select an easy one?

 

The fox bounded eagerly forward and started choosing a track. Neji stepped back and Orochimaru took over on the mat, walking very carefully on it. The track started, and Orochimaru never took his eyes off the screen while his feet moved automatically. Neji and Naruto returned to Jiraiya, who was already shuffling the cards.

 

I cant believe Orochimaru hasnt even seen a PlayStation before. Neji whispered as he scooped up his cards. You would have thought Yakushi Kabuto at least owned one in the Hidden Sound.

 

The product of ignorance and obsession. Naruto grinned slyly. Whatre we playing again, perverted hermit?

 

Stripper Poker. Jiraiya smirked. Regular poker rules apply, except the loser at the end of each round strips off an article of clothing from himself, chosen by his opponents. The game ends when one ends naked.

 

Nejis jaw dropped open, while Naruto only cackled confidently. The fox was confident on his poker skills; hed had expert lessons from Kakashi and Jiraiya. Jiraiya was very unlikely to lose; hed been playing such games way back when he was still a Genin. It was the Legendary Sannins favorite pastime, Stripper Poker. No need to mention who always ended up naked.

 

All right, lets start!

 

Silence ensued, broken only by the track playing from Orochimarus game and the Serpents regular curses when he missed an arrow. And then, finally...

 

A flush! Jiraiya declared, showing his cards of spades.

 

And a royal straight flush from me! Naruto laughed, laying down his own cards.

 

Nejis cheeks started to color. Jiraiya and Naruto exchanged sly grins.

 

Head protector off, please. Jiraiya smiled.

 

Kunai holster for me. Naruto sneered.

 

Neji obeyed, feeling very nervous about this. He was never good at cards.

 

Hours passed, and sure enough, Nejis clothes slowly slid off his body. Meanwhile Orochimaru was getting thrilled with the game he was playing. It turned out to be real easy, this Dance Dance whatever-you-call-it. Orochimaru slid, jumped, twirled and stepped without effort. He was enjoying this immensely. The Serpent made a mental note that if ever he got back to his country, he would immediately order Kabuto to buy him a complete game system.

 

My, my... Naruto laughed. Neji, I didnt know you had quite a body!

 

The Hyuuga was now redder than a tomato as he sat on the tatami floor, rid of everything except his briefs. Naruto had only lost his head protector and Jiraiya his arm bracers. Naruto was now rolling on the floor, clutching his belly as he laughed and laughed. For some reason Neji wanted to strangle him on the spot, but that would have merited his instant death in Orochimarus hands.

 

Enough! Lay down the final judgement! Jiraiya chortled as he showed his cards. Four aces and a queen of hearts.

 

Naruto gave a full house. Neji laid down his useless pile of spades, hearts and flower. Naruto started clapping his hands and chanted.

 

Take it all off! Take it all off! Take it all off!

 

Slowly, Neji stood up and removed his underwear. He was so red he could have shamed ten sunsets. Naruto and Jiraiya laughed like there was no tomorrow, while Orochimaru gave an appreciative whistle.

 

Nice ass, Neji-kun. The Serpent commented as he reached out and slapped Nejis behind. Do you mind turning around and showing me whats up front? Naruto laughed even louder at that.

 

Neji shut his eyes. He wanted nothing else at that moment except to shrivel up and die.

 

 

 

Is it true?

 

Yes. The Otokage is with the kid with the Kyuubi, theyre currently staying in the Godaime Hokages house in the village of Kikuyu.

 

Well...what do you know? A double jackpot for us!

 

Indeed.

 

We get to finally kill the notorious Orochimaru and extract the Kyuubi...

 

So the rumors are true that Orochimaru of the Hidden Sound has lost all of his jutsus?

 

Of course it is. How else could the fox-boy manage to capture him and live?

 

Good, good.

 

This will be interesting.