Attack of the Evil Boxer Short: Chapter 2: Justice Friends Attack!

Attack of the Evil Boxer Shorts

 

Chapter 2: Justice Friends Attack!

 

(A.K.A. the longest fight ever)

 

 

“Ok then, bring it!” Bob said as the fight started. “Very well then” said one of the voices. “I will be your first opponent.” said one of them who stepped out of the shadows. “I’m Superman!” he said as he approached Bob. “I say we have an eye laser fight to see who will win.” Superman said as he powered up his heat vision and fired it, only to be blocked by Bob’s. Both of their eye lasers were stuck being blocked in the middle of them. “Hey look, a chilidog!” said Bob. “Really, where?” said Superman as he turned around. “Right here!” said Bob as he hit Superman with his lasers. “Ok who’s next?” asked Bob to the shadowy figures. “I’m next, I am the Knight of Darkness, I am…Batman!” he said as he lunged for Bob. Bob quickly pulled out his flash light and pointed it towards Batman. “Nooooo! My one weakness….light” Batman said as he fell to the ground. “Ya know you should really think your name through next time. Bats don’t like light so it’s common sense.” Bob said as he walked over to Batman’s body. “They don’t like this either!” Bob said as he kicked Batman in the nuts. “Aaaaah ack…oh God that hurts” Batman said as he was being kicked in the nuts. “Ok well you can’t fight anymore.” said Bob disappointingly. “We still can!” said the Wonder Twins as they came out of nowhere. “Form of, a bucket of water! Shape of, a bug!” they said as they transformed. “Ok this is just plain ridiculous.” said Bob as he tipped the bucket of water over, drowning the bug. “Can we wrap this up? I have better things to do.” said Bob as he looked at the last figure. “I am Seaman, and I will stop you! Sea creatures assemble!” he said as he sent out waves of radar to his sea creature friends. They crashed through the ceiling and fell to the ground, realizing there was no water, they died. “Dude, just leave, you don’t even stand a chance.” Bob said as Seaman left. “No I can get out of…” Bob said but was interrupted by someone crashing through the ceiling. “I’m Spiderman and I’m going to stop you!” he yelled as he shot his webbing at Bob. Luckily for Bob, he got the morning’s newspaper and deflected it. “Not a newspaper!” yelled Spiderman as he hid behind a garbage can. Bob threw his newspaper at Spiderman which caused him to die. Bob started to leave but was blocked by the Black Knight. “None shall pass.” he said as Bob tried to get pass him. “But I must pass! I have to take over the world!” he said trying to pass him. “Then you shall die.” said the Black Knight as he lunged his sword at Bob who was able to dodge it. Bob, using his powers, made a sword come out of the air and swung it at the Black Knight, cutting his arm off. “I will not be defeated! I’m invincible!” he said as he charged towards Bob who blocked the attack and cut his other arm off. “How are you still alive after all that? I mean I cut both your arms off!” said Bob confused. “I’m the Black Knight, I’m invincible!” he said as Bob cut one of his legs off. “Come on you little pansy is that all you got?” asked the Black Knight, only to have his other leg chopped off. “What are you going to do now, bite me?” said Bob as the Black Knight did his best to crawl to Bob. So Bob picked up the body, and threw it outside. He walked back inside to find Chuck Norris there ready to fight. “Not so fast villain! I will defeat you!” he said as he showed of his kung-fu moves. “Wow that sure is great.” Bob said sarcastically. “Now watch this!” Bob said as he disappeared and reappeared behind Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris quickly turned around only to get the crap beat out of him by Bob. “Well glad that’s finally over.” said Bob as he walked outside. He looked down to find a large shadow surrounding him. He looked up to find a giant robot about to fall on him. “Aw crap...” he said as he got crushed by the giant robot. “I am Optimus Prime and I am here to defeat you!” he said as he stepped off of Bob. “Ouch…that hurt you son of a…” he said as he was quickly silenced by Optimus Prime stepping on him again. He lifted his foot and stepped on him over and over again. This caused Bob to get really pissed and he charged all of his energy and shot right through Optimus Prime’s foot. “Step on me now you lousy piece of metal crap!” said Bob as he charged through Optimus Prime’s head. He landed on the ground and found another person standing there. “Hello little boxer short, I am the One, I am Neo, and I will defeat you.” he said as he pulled out two guns. Bob did the same, and after a few seconds of waiting, they both flew in opposite directions while shooting each other. After a while of them shooting, they eventually ran out of ammo and went into hand to hand combat. “You think you’re so great huh? I defeated 5,678 smiths in one scene using my fists and a pole!” Neo bragged. “Well I survived an asteroid and defeated the entire Justice Friends team!” Bob bragged as he was able to grab Neo by the arms. He spun him around faster and faster until he let go, causing Neo to fly into the nearby jungle gym. “I’m not done yet” Neo said emerging from the pile of metal on the ground. “Matrix power!” he yelled as everything went into slow motion. They both charged at each other and continued their fist fight. They both got hit an equal amount of times. The slow motion stopped and they both landed on the ground panting. “You are actually worth fighting, but this ends now.” said Bob as he pulled out a rocket launcher and hit Neo with it. As Neo lay on the ground, the Power Rangers came from the ground to confront Bob. “It’s might morphin time!” the red ranger said as the all combined into their giant robot form. “Hey why don’t your words match your mouth movements?” Bob asked as he flew up to the top of the robot. “It’s because we were a television show but the Americans got there hands on us so now we have to talk like this.” said the green ranger. “I see, well now you die.” said Bob as he crashed into the robot, causing it to fall. “Why do we suck so much? Darn you Americans!” they said as the robot exploded. Bob looked at the carnage and turned around to find Yoda standing in front of him. “For the love of God, where do you keep coming from?” asked Bob as he pulled out his lightsaber. They both went into the craziest lightsaber fight in years. They both crashed into each other several times before anyone could lay a hit. “Strong in the force you are, but let you win I can not.” said Yoda as he jumped around hitting Bob every chance he could. As the fight continued and they both nearly got cut into shreds. For the last blow, they charged at each other and lunged their lightsabers forward. They both stood there, until Yoda fell to the ground. Bob put his lightsaber away to find a shadow coming from the ground. “Hello, I am the Black Mage. It is my duty to rule this world so I must stop you.” he said as he charged up his magic into his hands. “Eat this! HADOKEEEEN!” he yelled as a giant blue ray flew towards Bob at light speed. After the smoke cleared, Black Mage stood in awe to find Bob still breathing. “That was really good, but I have a little attack of my own.” said Bob as he charged up his energy into his hands. “Try this on for size!” yelled Bob as he threw his energy attack at Black Mage, completely obliterating him. Bob realized the fighting was finally over; unfortunately he turned around to find Mike standing there with an angry look on his face. “Your reign of terror ends now.” Said Bob as his hair began to glow yellow. “Good thing I found the “How to be just like Goku for Dummies” book. Now it’s time for you to die!” Mike said as he charged up energy into his hands. Bob saw this and did the same. “Kamehamaha!” Mike yelled as he sent his attack at Bob. Bob did the same and threw his attack at Mike’s, finding it to have no effect. “Nooo! I can’t be defeated!” Bob said as he tried to push the blast away from him. “It was fun fighting with you; maybe we will fight again some day.” Mike said as he charged more energy into his attack. It was enough to engulf Bob and crash him into the ground. When the smoke cleared, all that was left of Bob was his upper body. “Wait, I have more of my kind of the planet Shakim, I have to call them for help.” He thought as the pulled out a device that had a small button on it which he pushed. He started to laugh maniacally and said, “You fool, I won’t be the last. More of my kind is coming to this planet. You are all doomed!” he said as he laughed. “No!” Mike said as he shot a blast at Bob, silencing him forever. Mike turned back into his original form and sat on the ground. “It looks like my adventure will continue.” he said as he looked up at the stars.

 

 

THE END…for now