Tales of a Southern Gentleman: Root Beer Barrels

Root Beer Barrels. That’s what caught his eye when his godchild dragged him into the candy store in town. ‘Treasure Trove’ was the only sweets place in town and was only open on the weekends. Jack Jr, his godchild, had been dying to go there. Saved up all the money from his allowances just to afford a few measly bags of overpriced candy. Vernon was one to oblige and take him there, preparing himself in order to stay strong in the store. That little boy was dragging him everywhere in the store, different sweets varying in colors and shapes were catching his attention every few seconds. That’s when Vernon saw them. Root beer barrels. Those sweet little hard candies taunted him every time he passed their container. 

“I want some of these Uncle Vern!” Jack points at some sour-looking rainbow ropes.

"Whatever your lil heart desires Jacky." Vernon hands over an empty clear plastic bag to the excited child. Jack happily shoving it full of the colorful ropes. "Careful, they charge by the pound here." Slipping the bag away from his sticky hands Vernon sends him off with an empty one. Jack runs around the store once more looking for his next choice and Vernon... is dragged towards the barrels again. The scent of that soda pop fills his nose as he looks down at their little brown shimmering cylinders. Glancing around at the young shopkeep he finds them staring at their phone. Vernon Ross was taught not to steal, and that thieves had their hands cut off in humiliation. But he couldn't stop his large hand from digging into the container they were in. Even worse he shoved what he could grab straight into his mouth. 'Come on Vern, your 29 for gods sake.' He thinks to himself, mouth full of hard little barrels. 

"Uncle Vern-" That bright-eyed little boy stares up at his uncle to see his, cheeks full like a chipmunk with candy. The pair stare at each other, Vernon's eyes glancing at the root beer barrels. Jack's eyes follow before he quickly looks back to him. "Isn't that-"

"I'll pay for whatever you want." Vernon mumbles quickly to him, drool and saliva trying to slip past his lips from sucking on the candy. He looked like a fool covering his mouth and wiping away what he could. "Just don't tell a soul." Jack weighs his options before nodding. The boy goes about choosing carefully what he wants, Vernon happily watching. Happily watching until the attendant looks over and sees him with a mouth full of merchandise. 

Vernon's eyes widen and he quickly turns away from their gaze. 

"Sir, do you need help looking for something?" She kindly asks approaching the man. He had three options: 

Chew up the barrels. 

Swallow the barrels.

Spit out the barrels. 

The faster she moved the more he started to panic. Without a single thought in his head, he takes off his hat and spits out the glob of conjoined candy into it. Slamming it back on his head he turns and offers a charming smile to the girl. 

"No ma'am, just watchin' my godchild. I hope he's not botherin' you." Vernon says, his drawl obviously getting to her. She gets flustered and shakes her head. 

"No sir he isn't. If you have any questions, feel free to ask." Heading back to her desk Vernon can't help but feel the warmth of the candy on his scalp. 

"You're just a peach, thank you." Vernon finds Jack with all his bags and sighs. "Ready Jacky-boy?" The boy happily nods and hurries over to the countertop. Vernon buys everything without question thanking the girl before Jack takes his bags and scampers off. "Jack don't go off too far we have to make one last stop." He calls off to the boy. A few blocks from the candy shop was a barber shop and Vernon had to say bye to his hair he'd been growing out.