Scout Troop Alpha Season 1: The Scouts aren't scouting

Scout Troop Alpha

Episode 1: The Scouts aren't scouting

  (Scout Troop Alpha has just arrived at the map Headlong and....)

 Jackson and Lucas: Do it! Do it! Do it!

Garland: [Drives off ramp in Warthog and crashes]

Jackson: Oh crap he crashed!!

Lucas: I told you but nooooo! You didn't listen to me!

Jackson: What are you talking about?!? You were rooting for him to go!

(5 second pause of awkward silence)

Lucas: Well….let's go see if he's ok!

Jackson, Lucas: [run to end of ramp]

Jackson: Hey Garland you ok down there?

Garland: Yes I think I'll survive. That was totally awesome though! You guys should try it!

Lucas: Like hell we are doing that! We need that Warthog to scout this place out!

Jackson: What made you think we were ever going to do that?

Lucas: Well we ARE Scout Troop Alpha right?

Jackson: Yeah, but who says we have to scout right now?

Lucas: Well we should if we are ever going to get out of here! Besides if we don't then Command is gonna send someone down here to beat the crap out of us!

Jackson: Hmm….you have a forceful argument, but I'm in charge so what I say goes.

Lucas: Wait who said you were in charge? We are all privates so we all have equal say!

Jackson: Well that's where you're wrong. See this emblem? (Camera point to emblem) You guys don't have any so that means I'm in charge!

Garland: Well that sucks, so what are we gonna do now?

Jackson: [looks down at Garland] we are gonna take this bad boy out for a spin!

Garland: Hurray! Do I still get to drive?

Lucas: Like hell you are! I'm driving! You can take the gunner's position if you want.

Garland: Sweeet! [Gets out of driver's seat and mounts the gunner's position]

Jackson: [gets in passenger seat]

Lucas: [gets in driver seat]

Jackson: Kick it homie!

Lucas: [starts driving]

Garland: Wait! We need awesome driving music!

Lucas: Oh come on! Are you serious?

Jackson: You heard the man! Play some awesome driving music!

Lucas: Oh fine whatever! [Turns on the song “Shout” be Tears for Fears]

Garland: Eh….it'll work I guess.

Lucas: Good, now let's go. [Starts driving away from original area and end up in a garage type area and music stops when they arrive.]

Jackson: Yah know this place is pretty cool looking. Why didn't we come here before?

Lucas: Well we got dropped off here an hour ago and we only found that big ramp.

Jackson: Oh…well I guess we should start scouting then

Garland: Do we really have to? I wanna shoot stuff.

Jackson: Ok fine you can shoot stuff but only for a little while ok?

Garland: Weeee! [Gets off gunner position and runs off]

Lucas: Do you think he'll be ok? There could be Covenants out there.

Jackson: Oh he'll be fine. Let's check this place out!

Jackson, Lucas: [walk up ramps]

Jackson: Do you really think there are any Covenants here?

Lucas: Dude….we're in a war. Of course there are Covenants here!

Jackson: Well I'm gonna need some decent evidence to prove that theory right. [Looks down and sees a Covenant weapon] Holy crap!!!

Lucas: [Looks down at weapon] Jesus Christ! I was right!

Jackson: You mean were just guessing?

Lucas: Well I was just trying to sound smart!

Jackson: Well what are we going to do? Garland is out there and he can get killed!

Lucas: Do you really care?

Jackson: Um…no not really, but we must save him!

Lucas: But there are Covenants out there!

Jackson: Oh right….Aaaaah!

Lucas: Aaaah!

Jackson: Aaah!

Lucas: Aaaah!

Jackson: Shut up! Let's go!

Lucas: Right!

Jackson, Lucas: [both jump into Warthog and drive out only to be hit by Beam Rifle ammunition as they drive into the open]

Lucas: [gets out of Warthog] what the hell was that?!?

Jackson: [gets out of Warthog] It was a sniper. We're gonna die!

Lucas: Calm down! It could have just been….a shot that came from a different planet!

Jackson: [stares for 5 seconds] you realize how stupid that sounds right?

Lucas: Well you can't blame me for trying…

Jackson: Actually I can! [Hits Lucas]

Lucas: Ow what was that for!

Jackson: For being a dumb ass! Now say it! [Hits Lucas]

Lucas: I'm a dumb ass! Stop hitting me!

Jackson: Damn right you are! Now we have to find where that sniper was.

Lucas: We could just wait for him to shoot one of us again.

Jackson: And have my life in danger! Like hell we are doing that! If anyone is gonna die it's you Private Lucas.

Lucas: Yah know we've been talking for 3 minutes and the sniper still hasn't killed us yet.

Jackson: He must be playing with us. Making us turn on one another! That bastard!

Lucas: Well shouldn't we try to get out of here?

Jackson: We can't! The Warthog got a flat tire from that shot. We'd never survive on foot!

Lucas: Yes we would. We just have to find a building to take cover in. The sniper can't get us if we are hiding.

Jackson: That'll never work! Now fix this tire while I go pick a building to hide in.

Lucas: Oh fine.

Jackson: [runs off]

Lucas: [kneels down and works on tire] this sucks, who does he think he is? He's just some idiot with an emblem. I should be in charge. [Finishes working on the tire] there we go [jumps in the Warthog and drives over to building Jackson is in]. Hey Jackson, I fixed the Warthog!

Jackson: You did? Well normally I'd say I was impressed, but you didn't have to fix it. We could have just hid in this building!

Lucas: Hey that was my idea!

Jackson: Nope, it was my idea!

Lucas: What makes you think it was your idea?

Jackson: [hits Lucas] that's what.

Lucas: Ow will you stop that?

Jackson: There's no time for your wants! We must go save Private Garland!

Lucas: But what if he's already dead? Then wouldn't it be a total waste of time?

Jackson: Hmm…you're right. Well if he is dead. Then I'm putting the blame on you.

Lucas: Well crap….well lets get this over with then.

Jackson, Lucas: [get in Warthog and drive off]