Blood Stained: Chapter 28: Tales from the Past

Blood Stained

Chapter 28: Tales from the Past

***Five Hundred Years Ago***

He could feel his blood boiling as he held his head with his hands. It hadn't worked. The Miko was still there, at the bottom of the well. Sesshomaru still had the bracelet in his grasp as he struggled against his beast. The kiss had been a distraction while he removed her bracelet, apparently his plan had worked, unfortunately, her plan hadn't.

Sesshomaru could feel his beast's raging within him, it demanded to be release. He could still see the Miko struggling down at the bottom of the well, as he attempted to give her some time by trying to fight for control. His whole body began to shake, both from his own desire to remain in control and his beast's fury.

Her life was not the only one on the line.

Not only that, but all he could smell was her scent, as if suddenly it had blasted through the forest overpowering his senses. For the first time in a long time, he could feel a power coming from within her and he could feel her helplessness. His own rage rose as he thought about her foolishness. According to her, this should have worked, obviously she was completely useless. The idea that he had willingly kissed her for the benefit of this, was causing his lips to burn.

Never would he have touched her of his own free will. It had always been the beast, Sesshomaru had been forced to endure the actions of. He knew the beast was not completely trustful of him, which was why he had pushed himself to kiss her. The beast had been distracted while he kissed her, it had been the perfect opportunity to remove the bracelet. How could he have been foolish enough to sink so low?

Nonetheless, at the moment, he was preoccupied. Never had he struggled so hard for control, even though he knew he would eventually lose, he was trying to give her a chance at fixing the mess she had created. Obviously they both knew how much worse things would be if this did not work. He wasn't referring to her, but himself. His beast would not allow him control ever, since it would not trust him around the miko.

Her mistake could cost him more than it would cost her. The beast would never harm her or at least not badly, neither would he kill her. The security around her would be increased, but she'd be alive. He on the other hand would lose everything. Sesshomaru could lose himself in the whole process. This was not worth it.

A growl, which came from deep down within himself, escaped him, he felt her aura change with her increasing fear. Sesshomaru tilted his head back slightly, slowly his eyes filled with crimson, he nearly screamed as his beast took over, more ferocious than ever. It was wild, out of control and it demanded its mate back. Sesshomaru felt his last thread of control slip away from him and he cursed. There was no way she could escape the beast now…

As the transformation ended, he could still feel her presence down at the bottom of the well. He approached the edge, before looking down. How could she have done this? His eyes were not only burning because of his intense anger, but also from the pain of betrayal. She had lied, the whole time. All she had done was plan to escape him, leave him. He would not let this happen, he would not allow her to go anywhere. She belonged to him.

He would not stand for this.

He had tried for her, he had been nice. She had played him.

Sesshomaru was about to jump down the well when a bright pink light shot skyward, pushing him backwards violently, until he hit a tree trunk. He did not feel any pain from the hit, but he was somewhat shocked. The pink light was engulfing his surrounding and instead of the usual tingle he felt from her power, it actually somewhat burned his skin. The beast was growling in response to the attack, but could not move. It was as if the pink light was immobilizing him.

After a few minutes the light ceased, slowly the burning sensation dissipated. Sesshomaru managed to rise to his feet a couple of seconds later and he then made his way to the well. As he had expected, there was no one at the bottom. She was gone. As if to assure himself he jumped down, but unfortunately for him, his feet touched the ground. Without another thought crossing his mind, he punched the ground forming a hole.

This was not happening. She was his!

He tightly formed a fist with his hand, applying so much pressure that his own claws were nearly digging in his skin. Every word she had said had been a complete lie. Everything she had done had been a fade. He had thought she finally understood the situation, that she accepted it. He had prevented himself from doing a lot in fear he would hurt her, or her feelings and yet she had never taken his in consideration.

Why would his own mate do that?

Why did she refuse to be happy by his side?

He had done everything for her, even put a halt to his own desire, she had betrayed him. How could she leave him! It didn't fit who she was. He had seen the hanyou drag her through the dirt before, and she had remained by his side. The hanyou never gave her love or appreciation. She never betrayed Inuyasha. Sesshomaru had loved her with everything he had, he had done what he could do to make her happy.

She shouldn't have done that. Why couldn't she give him the same devotion she had with the hanyou? At least that worthless being was dead, there was never any chance for her to run back to him. As if he would ever allow that to happen. He didn't regret one bit what he had done and if he could he'd do it again.

As his thoughts changed Sesshomaru could feel some of the anger fade away, it was quickly replaced by pain and suffering. Especially when he sniffed in a lingering remains of her intoxicating scent. She was his. Now, she was many hundreds of years ahead of him. The wait would kill him. How could he go so long without her? How could Sesshomaru have allowed her to slip through their fingers?

He knew what the Dayoukai desired, freedom and control. He snickered. He would pay for allowing her to leave and helping her deceive him. He would take away from Sesshomaru what he had taken away from him. His eyes were a deeper red than usual as his pain and anger clashed together. She would not come back. If she had gone through all of this to leave him, she would not be back.

He stared down at the well, before bending down and grabbing a handful of the dirt, then slowly letting it leak through his fingers back to the ground. There was an ache in his heart, he knew it was from his loss. He had never felt this kind of pain before, especially not because he had lost someone. She had created this new feeling inside of him, this emptiness.

How could he get rid of it?

His heart was empty, the pain was the only thing he could feel. He wanted someone to pay the price for what happened. She was gone, he could not teach her a lesson, but he had to hurt someone. It hardly mattered who it was, someone would suffer his fury because of her actions. She had been too reckless. She hadn't thought things through.

Sesshomaru remained in that position for a little longer before fully standing up and exiting the well. He wanted to destroy the wretched thing, but he couldn't. There was always the chance that during these five hundred years, she would attempt to come back. He could not reduce it to dust, just because of that little hope. If there was even a chance that he would see her again before five hundred years passed, he would believe in that hope.

But, it did not stop him from hating the wretched well. He glared at it before walking away very slowly. He had no intention of going back to the castle, at least not yet. He decided he would be the one in control and he would walk these lands until the constricting pain in his chest was gone. He had time, he had five hundred years in front of him to wait.

-B-

Four weeks. For four full weeks he had walked through the lands, his rage stirring up. He had felt Sesshomaru trying to come back in control, he had tried to communicate with him, but the beast had ignored him. He had nothing to say to him, nothing to share. He had allowed their mate to leave. Now their heart was filled with pain. Even if Sesshomaru came back into control, the pain would remain.

It felt as if the bond was being stretched, as if he were spilt in two. The feeling would always be there, like a nagging sensation. Sesshomaru would never be able to get rid of it, no matter what. The beast intended to share his suffering with him, perhaps make him understand. She was the one for them, and the fact that she was human didn't mean anything.

He knew the extent of her powers. He had felt the surge of power coming from her when the bracelet had been removed. Why it wasn't always there though, he did not know. The bracelet. He still had it, carefully tucked into his kimono. He didn't necessarily keep it because he intended to put it back around her wrist but because it was one of the few things of her - that still had her scent on it.

For the first time ever Sesshomaru was experiencing pain. But it was not physical, it was psychological. It was hard to explain what he felt, but he knew it was related to the mating bond. She should not be years away from him. The feeling was nearly suffocating him, making it hard for him to breathe. Something inside of him was missing, he knew it was her. He needed her presence near him.

His steps were slower than normal for the first time ever. He had paid very little attention to where he had been going. Everything around him had ceased to exist. Most of what he was experiencing had been new, feelings that he had no idea how he was supposed to deal with them. The first time he had undergone such powerful feeling was when he had decided to make her his mate.

But now after four weeks of pointless walking, he felt appeased. The pain was still very vivid, but he had dealt with the anger. Many had paid with their lives for her mistake, he had killed many completely in cold blood. He still had their blood on his claws, but it did not bother him. He had killed before, he had even taken the life of someone who shared his own blood. These worthless people's lives had no meaning to him.

It would take a while, but he swore he would see her again. He could easily survive five hundred years. For a youkai like him, it was like a blink of an eye. He would regain his mate and pup in due time. He did not have to worry about Sesshomaru, because the Dayoukai would not let himself be killed. He was too strong and too proud for that. All he needed was to have some patience and he would regain what had been taken away from him.

Now, he was ready to head back to his castle. With that he ended his journey and began to head back. He did intend on returning control to Sesshomaru when arrived. He wanted him to experience the same pain he had. He would always be there dormant, ready to be awakened, but now that she was gone, he had no reason to remain around. Unless Sesshomaru attempted to do something that would prevent his reunion with his mate. He would focus his attention on making him suffer.

Every day for five hundred years, Sesshomaru would have to carry the pain of their separation.

The beast considered it his punishment for what he had done. After all, Kagome would never have been able to escape on her own, she could not remove the bracelet herself. He had ruined everything.

Another thing was going to change, the merging.

It was the conflict of feelings between the beast and Sesshomaru that would have created the merging, but now that was gone. Now, the overwhelming pain was a feeling they were going to share. Their mate being gone, their feelings would not longer conflict. Of course, it would all change when they would be with her again.

Until then, the beast would make sure Sesshomaru would suffer every day.

His control over Sesshomaru's body exceeded what Sesshomaru ever imagined. As he had previously told him, he could remain in control as long as he wished. Now he intended on using the stronger bond that had been formed by the beginning of the merge to control him even further. Not only would he make him feel things he didn't want to, but also he would remind him of things that happened with their mate.

A smirk appeared on his face as he began to see his castle. He remembered Kagome saying there were no youkai in her time, if she was right, he intended on being the exception. He would not let himself be killed, especially not by these humans. If someone could make it through so many centuries, it was going to be him.

As he got closer to the castle he decided it was now time to let go of the control. He would lay dormant, while Sesshomaru would deal with the pain of their loss.

One day at a time.

-B-

Sesshomaru was outside in the garden, his mind completely filled with thoughts. For the past few days he had felt emotions he never thought himself able to. The sadness of losing a loved one, the emptiness of losing your other half and the anger created by your mate being taken away from you. He shouldn't feel these emotions, especially considering the fact he did not think about the Miko as his mate.

These feelings were almost as frustrating as Rin's current situation. As soon as he had been back she had properly welcomed him, before asking about the miko. It had been quite hard to come up with the right explanation for his ward. He had decided to say the truth, but to leave out some details. He explained that the miko had to go back to her family, because there were current threats she needed to take care of.

A light in Rin's eyes had seemed to disappear at that moment, before she slowly nodded her head in acceptance. She never asked if the miko would come back, or why she had gone alone. Instead, she had resumed her daily activity, even though she acted the same way she always did, something was different.

Although he was not given much time to ponder on this issue, his beast was making sure he suffered. Every action, even the simplest ones like breathing, required much more effort than it should. It was as if the pain his beast had created drained his energy. It made him feel extremely weak, it was not something he enjoyed at all. Sesshomaru was a strong youkai and shouldn't experience such feelings.

In frustration he stared ahead, wondering if perhaps it would have been better to keep the miko by his side. Now he would not see her for five hundred years. He couldn't begin to imagine his beast's reaction when he would finally have her again. He had a feeling that things would be worse then they were now. If he thought his beast was out of control now, he knew that after remaining so long with his feelings buried inside, he would be wild by the time they would meet again.

Suddenly, Sesshomaru was brought out of his thoughts when he sensed Rin's presence near him. He turned his head to the side slightly and spotted her near the castle, collecting yellow flowers. She was biting her bottom lip and seemed very focused on her current task. She was carefully picking every single one of them before gently placing them into a bouquet she had laid on the ground.

Somewhat intrigued Sesshomaru made his way towards her, even when he was right behind Rin she didn't seem to notice his presence. He waited a few seconds to see if she would realize she was not alone anymore. And indeed, Rin eventually felt a presence behind her, she slowly turned around to see whom it was. When she spotted Sesshomaru a smile appeared on her face. Sesshomaru had been by himself a lot lately and Rin had barely seen him. Without Kagome, he felt very empty.

“Sesshomaru-sama,” she said, greeting him.

He nodded. His eyes traveled down to the flowers on the ground and then, to the ones she was holding in her hands. He had seen Rin collect flowers in the past, but this time it was much different. It was as if she was putting her whole heart into that bouquet, it had roused his curiosity, especially since she looked more, peaceful.

Rin seemed to have understood his silent question. “These are Kagome's favorite flowers.”

She could remember when they had been sitting outside collecting flowers from new patches, which were further from the castle and Kagome had spotted this. She had even asked Rin to collect some for her, something she had happily done for the miko.

Sesshomaru slightly bent down and delicately picked up one of the flowers. He then slowly opened his hand, the flower resting in his open palm. He stared at it for a few seconds before forcefully closing his hands crushing the flower. Then he proceeded to walk away from Rin. The little girl watched him holding go while she held her own flowers.

When Sesshomaru was back to his previous seat, he opened his hand, letting the petals of the crushed flower fall onto the ground.

-B-

**Feudal Era: 1603 - 1868**

Many years had past, he had been stuck in the same vicious circle. During those many years a lot had happened and it had reminded him how very short a human's life span was compared to a youkai's.

The most important event of all had been Naraku's death. Sesshomaru had found the houshi and the taijiya and informed them of his brother's death, since they were pack. Obviously, they hadn't been very welcoming towards him. The taijiya had been the worst, demanding to see her friend. He had explained to them that the miko had returned to her own time a few months ago.

It came as no surprise that they did not believe his words, although Sesshomaru did not lie. Nonetheless, he took them back to the castle, all three of them to let them confirm the news for themselves. Surprisingly, when they got there it was Rin that proved he was telling the truth. Neither the taijiya or the houshi had doubted Rin, after a few tears had been shed they asked their next question, what happened to Inuyasha?

Sesshomaru had long pondered how to answer that question. The answer he gave them was that the hanyou had foolishly lost his life trying to force the miko by his side. It was vague, but Sango and Miroku still had an idea of what might have actually happened.

It was also then that they wondered how to defeat Naraku and break the curse inflicted upon Miroku. When Kohaku had been mentioned, Rin's eyes had lighted up. It was perhaps the first time Sesshomaru had noticed it since Kagome's absence. He might not care about the future of the houshi, but he was concerned when it came to Rin's feelings.

It was then that Sesshomaru announced his intention to take care of Naraku. Sango had immediately been against the idea, he wasn't looking for her approval. That they came and helped or not mattered very little to him, but he told them what he planned on doing.

He was not surprised when they had shown up when he set his plan into action. They held a deeper grudge against Naraku then he did. It had taken nearly a whole day, mostly because the hanyou was too much of a coward to face them head on, but Naraku had fallen leaving behind nothing but an incomplete, dark jewel.

It was then that another problem rose up with the taijiya, she hadn't trusted him with the jewel. She claimed he was not the appropriate person to take care of it. He had then reminded them about the jewel's current state and how the human heart could easily be corrupted. He on the other hand, never had any interest towards the jewel and could not be corrupted by it.

Miroku had despised Sesshomaru as much as Sango had, but unfortunately, he knew his words to be true. Not only that, but he was perhaps the only one who the jewel could be entrusted with whom had a chance to find someone that could purify the it. Nonetheless, what he had done to Kagome hadn't made the decision easy, but after a few days, Miroku and Sango agreed.

They had come to the time to make a decision on how to find the missing shards. They knew Koga had two and Kohaku had one. After discussing it they had agreed that Kohaku should keep his shard and live out his life. After all, with no current threats ahead there was no risk in letting him live. Plus, Sesshomaru was aware of the childish crush Rin had developed towards Kohaku. He wanted her happiness.

It was then also that Sesshomaru had retrieved the shards from Koga. Of course the idiot had tried to fight him, wanting to keep them, but he did not stand a chance against Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru had not killed him, but damaged him enough to let him know he was superior to him. He had gotten the shards and added them to the jewel, which refused to let go of its darkness.

A few more years had passed and Rin had grown a little bit older, her interest towards Kohaku had not faded away. Often the boy would come by the castle and spend some time with Rin, under Sesshomaru's watchful eyes. And then, the moment he had been expecting had happened. Kohaku had come to see him, asking if he could marry Rin.

Sesshomaru had no need to even wonder if it was what Rin desired. He already knew. He also had no reason to oppose the match, knowing Rin would be well looked after by Kohaku. So a few weeks later the wedding had happened, Rin had moved in with Kohaku in Edo. It was then that Sesshomaru had experienced loneliness for the first time.

It was not the same thing as the feeling of loneliness his beast had been inflicting on him since the Miko's departure. This time, it was different because it was really him experiencing it. For the first time Sesshomaru missed the presence of someone. Rin had been the only one he allowed around besides Jaken, but contrary to the toad, she was human and her life events happened much faster.

Of course, like other humans, she had children, two. Slowly she aged until that fateful day. During Rin's last days, Sesshomaru had brought her back to his castle, Kohaku had followed. And as he had watched her during her final moments, he could still clearly see the little girl who had tried to help him when she found him in the forest. She had been beaten up, hurt and yet, she had smiled to him through her own pain.

Before she had drawn her last breath she had covered his hand with her wrinkled one, offering him her best smile. It was then that he remembered her foolish request, she had asked him to never forget her, even after her death. How could he?

“This Sesshomaru will never forget you,” he had promised, as she had closed her eyes.

That was when he made the promise to look after her descendants, making sure they would be helped, just as she had tried to help him during their first meeting. He would not forget what she had done.

A few days later, Kohaku had followed Rin into the other world, another shard had been added to the jewel.

Perhaps a few hundred years later, things had begun to change. Humans began to change their rules and the way they lived. It seemed they did not fear youkai's as much as they used to. In the beginning, most of the weak ones were eliminated by the human's new weapons. It was then that the hiding began. Most powerful youkai's had left the area, finding places away from humans. Secluded away from humans they could survive.

Most of them probably had a chance at defeating most humans, but the humans were getting more organized. Some youkai's weren't willing to risk their lives at the end of foolish humans. Sesshomaru had remained in his castle as long as possible, until humans came too close. He could have probably destroyed most of them, but his beast inside of him was kicking his survival instinct into overdrive, he had to stay alive for her.

He had taken the jewel with him, as he and Jaken had resumed their traveling ways. For many years they traveled, moving from one place to another, noticing the destruction and violence of men. They truly were a weak race, destroying each other for no apparent reason.

Then another change had arrived. Sesshomaru had seen different looking humans arrive, blending in with the people that had already existed on these lands. The differences weren't that obvious, nor strange to him, but he noticed them nonetheless. To him humans were humans.

It was also during these times that humans began traveling to other continents and he learned about the world surrounding them. Considering his current appearance it was harder to make full explorations, but he had flown over certain continents a few times.

Slowly, the world changed in front of his eyes, but for humans and youkai's, the worst had not begun yet.

It was during these years that Sesshomaru, still in full control of his youki had begun searching for the shards. Now that youkai's were traveling all around the world, there was a vast territory to cover. Unfortunately for him, it took him nearly 50 years to find the approximate location of one of the shards.

There weren't many youkai's left now, they were the only ones who knew about the jewel. Thus, it was making it harder to obtain information as their population slowly was disappearing. Without being able to locate the shards like the miko could, it was making the task much harder.

India was the first location he had obtained. And then, he had hoped the rest would follow.

**Empire of Japan; 1868-1945**

As the world remained in destruction, Sesshomaru managed to find the location of another shard, which was nearly 20 years after finding the location of the first one. Once again the only information he had been able to obtain was that it was in Australia.

Finally, after many years of waiting, youkais had managed to blend in with humans. Certain magical devices had been invented, which allowed youkais to trap their youki, leaving them to look exactly like common humans.

With that invention, Sesshomaru had seen much more opportunity than the other youkais did. Trapping his youki also meant freedom and he would finally be rid of these horrible feelings he had been forced to experience for all these years. He had sneaked one of the devices onto himself, his beast completely oblivious to what was happening. As soon as he had put it on, Sesshomaru had felt an immense pain filling him, and he knew it was his beast fighting the cage that was bestowed upon it.

It had taken a few minutes, but eventually, Sesshomaru had gained full control.

The relief he had felt afterwards was not something that could be explained. All the feelings he had been cursed with for so many years slowly had exited his body, for the very first time since his beast had emerged, Sesshomaru felt as if finally everything about himself was all under his control, only his control. As long as he kept the device on, he would not have to obey his beasts will.

After many years blending in with the humans, Sesshomaru had taken up a residence once more. When he had left his castle with Jaken, he had hidden away some of his belongings, according to humans, they were had been worth a lot. He had then been able to make it to a decent rank in society considering his amount of money and fortune.

Then, the human world had been shattered by war.

Sesshomaru had seen war before, but this one was much different. Not only did it involve a lot more people, but it was much more deadly. Sesshomaru had seen the humans' weapons, but usually it was not much to fear, although he had learned to be more careful now that he did not have his youkai.

Humans had surprised him with a new weapon; Atomic Bombs.

Sesshomaru had witnessed and fortunately for him, survived the attacks bestowed upon Japan. Surprisingly he found himself thinking of how cold humans had grown. He himself had often killed without regrets, but this was much different, much worse. Unless someone got in his way, Sesshomaru couldn't have cared less, but the human attacks were not like that.

They were doing it to show who was more powerful, to win over people. Not only that, but they obviously weren't fighting fairly and equally. It wasn't about strategy, or who was the most powerful, it was only destruction that mattered. The more deaths it caused the better.

They had grown more foolish, and sadder. Was this really what the world had become?

Then, near 1940, while the world was crumbling, he found the location of the last shard, Brazil. Although he now had the locations, they were all extremely far apart and he still had no means of finding them. Nonetheless, he wasted many years traveling in the hope of a miracle.

**Occupied Japan: 1945-1952**

It was somewhere around 1947 that Sesshomaru had been hit by what seemed like a lifes lesson. An incident that he had not planned for had occurred. A lot of women feared for their lives during these times and Sesshomaru had made the mistake of walking down a nearly empty street one day.

As he had been trying to make his way to town a woman had appeared out of nowhere, screaming at the top of her lungs. In her confusion and feared she had bumped into Sesshomaru before he could even avoid her. She held on to his clothes and he managed to get a look at her face.

It was obvious she had been crying, her eyes red and puffy. She also had blood dripping down the side of her head and most of her clothes had been torn to pieces. She was breathing fast, as she finally let go of him, sobbing loudly.

“Please - “ she managed to say, “ he—again. He Raped me.”

Footsteps could be heard and in a moment of panic, the woman began to run again.

Unlike her, Sesshomaru was frozen in the same position unable to move. As soon as the words had escaped her lips the first image that had filled his mind was the Miko. An inexplicable feeling had taken over, while flashes of her face after every intercourse had appeared in his mind. For some reason he could not chase away the sound of her voice either. He could hear her begging for him to stop, telling him not to touch her.

Sesshomaru began to slightly back away, trying to figure out why he was thinking about this. Was it because he finally understood? All those times she had tried to explain to him that her time was different, that mating was never considered a privilege.

Did he finally understand why she fought against it so much? Why she cried, why she yelled, why she hated him so much for all of his actions?

Sesshomaru hadn't spent much time with humans even though he was now looking like one, he still avoided associating with them. But for a brief instant, the desperation in the women's eyes and what he knew of today's society…

He did find himself wondering if what he had done back then to the young miko had been wrong. He had denied her claim that it was a horrible act, but only now did he understand how different their worlds had been.

Perhaps, just that one time, Sesshomaru had been wrong.

**Post Occupied Japan: 1952-1989**

It was during the winter of 1960 that another one of Rin's descendant had been born. Her name was Miyu, and Sesshomaru watched over her like he had the others. It was also that year that his company Tomoya Corporation was created. He had rarely spent his money during all the past years and he knew business was the way to go. His company specialized in electronics and business with outside companies. It was also then, to fit the businessman model, that he cut his hair.

As Sesshomaru had watched Miyu grow up, he never could chase away the feeling that he knew her, that she resembled someone. He had quickly dismissed it telling himself she must look like Rin. It was not until she got married in 1980 to a young man named Haruki Higurashi that a nagging voice in the back of his head appeared.

Higurashi.

He knew that name; he knew it because it was hers.

A sense of panic had overcome him that day for the very first time. He had been unable to stop himself from finding out more, when he had found out the man was from a shrine and from a line of monks, he had felt something snap inside of him.

He had tried to ignore it, but when two years later, in 1982, during the blossoming spring, Miyu gave birth to a grey-eyed little girl named Kagome. Sesshomaru had been there, lurking around the house when they had brought her home, at that moment, there had been no denying the truth. The miko, the one he was still mated to, the one he had hurt… was a part of Rin.

The promise he had made to the little girl had been broken five hundred years ago, unknown to all of them.

For the first time in his life, Sesshomaru had felt guilt. For the very first time, he regretted his actions.

There had been only one thing clear in his mind at that moment, he had to make it up to her. For the very first time in his life, he had felt like a monster. Flashes of Rin had gone through his mind, for an instant, it had been as if he had done those things to her, instead of the Miko. A rage had appeared in his heart, and he felt angry with himself for what he had done.

The smile, the innocence, the laughter, he had been the one to take it all away.

He had lived in her world, he had seen the destruction that action brought upon women, especially young girls. And now that he thought about it, the Miko had pulled through, acting strong. Just like Rin would have done.

Rin.

Her name was echoing in his mind, and he was hopeless to stop it.

**Heisei Period: 1989 -Present Day**

When Kagome had reached the age of seven, Sesshomaru felt the moment of her going to the past approaching. There were still many years to go, but to a youkai like him, it could go as fast as blinking. It was then that he had decided to install mics in her house. He wasn't sure exactly when she went back into the past and he wanted to keep track.

It was also because of these mics that he learned about another of Rin's descendant, Souta. He had heard Miyu share the news with her husband and how happy they were. Unfortunately for them, that happiness did not last for a long time. When Miyu was barely in the second month of her pregnancy, an unfortunate accident happened and Haruki had passed away. Sesshomaru had attended the funerals, remaining hidden, not that anyone would have recognized him.

For months, he had heard the devastation it had left in the family, he had almost been surprised by the way Miyu had pulled through and had even begun raising another child on her own. She so much reminded him of Rin at that moment.

Then, it happened. The fateful day the Miko had fell down the well. When that day arrived, he had waited patiently, knowing that in about two years, she would be going back down the well and not be coming back for months. Sesshomaru well intended on stopping her from going, which was why the mics were so helpful. Kagome shared a lot with her mother, making it easy for him to tell what was exactly going on.

For two years he had heard the interactions between her and his half-brother, had witnessed how well he fitted in her family, they had no problem welcoming the hanyou as one of their own. Every little mushy moment, every sad heartbreak, he had heard it all. Sometimes, he had been more present in her life than he had wished for.

Then a few weeks before the fateful day, he had camped near her house, waiting. When the moment had been right he had every intention of stopping her, had even walked out of his car, ready to go up the stairs of the shrine, when suddenly, he had fell ill to the ground. An incredible searing pain had gone through his body, he had been unable to move. He had tried to scream for her to stop, but had quickly realized he could not even speak.

It was in despair that he had been on his knees on the ground, while she had made the fateful mistake to go back in to the feudal era.

He had failed Rin for the second time on that day.

After the pain had disappeared, he had regained control of his body and had rushed up the stairs, hoping perhaps she had not gone yet, he had been disappointed to find out she had.

The only thing that had been left to do for him was wait until she came back.

Those few months had been the longest months of his life, often he had found himself pacing in his house, hoping the time would go by faster. He had a feeling he knew what her reaction would be like once she saw him again, she would not be happy. The best thing would have probably been to leave her alone, but he could not do such a thing.

Not only was she the only one who could get rid of the jewel, but she was carrying his pup. It was part of her, a part of him, a part of Rin.

Then after what had seemed like forever, he had heard her come back, had nearly hear Kagome's and Miyu's hearts break. He had listened when Kagome had shared with her what happened, telling nearly every detail.

When he had heard about her appointment, he knew he shouldn't have gone, but the guilt had overpowered him. Before he had known what he was doing, he had driven all the way up there, had waited for her to disappear inside the office before he had entered the building. There was no way for her to recognize him, but nonetheless, as soon as she had stepped out, he had walked away.

Then, he had seen her bump into a pregnant woman, dropping the picture she had been holding. He didn't take a careful look at it, but he had known what was on it. When she had stepped out of the washroom, he knew she had not realized what she had dropped. Knowing it probably would mean a lot to her to have it, he had stepped forward.

From the look she had gave him, he instantly knew she had recognized him, or at least, thought she did. He had not let any emotions show on his face, but inside he felt it. When she had looked at him with such fear in her eyes, the guilt had been too much to bear. For an instant, it had been as if he had been looking at Rin and not Kagome.

Then, immediately right after their meeting, he had been surprised to find her staring at him through his window. He had known that the meeting would have sparked her interest in finding him, but never had he believed she would have done it so soon. It was then that he had realized their fated meeting could no longer be pushed back, it was time for them to meet face to face.

The game of cat and mouse had to end.

Not only that, but ever since her return to the feudal era after their mating, the jewel had grown restless, and even darker. Perhaps because she, who was the guardian, had been tainted in darkness by him? If that was the case, their time was running out. It was also another reason why he had to earn her forgiveness.

She was meant to be pure, just like the child he had considered his daughter, he had to erase the pain he had created.

He had to atone for his sins towards her, towards them.

-B-