That's the Way Love Goes: XIII

A/N: Lucky number thirteen, eh? Haha, we'll see. Personally, my lucky number is 9, so I hope that's some sort of indication. I'm going to have a warning where any InuKag lemony bits are, so PAY ATTENTION! Some of you - like me - are die-hard SessKag fans and would rather not read the InuKag interactions. Therefore, I've made it so you can skip over those parts and still not lose any part of the story. A warning in advance that next chapter will start with a lemon. And Happy New Year, everyone!

A HUGE thank you to all my lovely MediaMiner friends! You've embraced this story the way it was meant to be, and I love you guys for it. DivaG, Michael99, buzzk97, WiccanMethuselah, mariposa_miko, handypup, Snowfall, Quimera-chan, and youkailover1… You guys float my boat! XD And another special thanks to xXCrimson.StormXx over at ff.net - thank you for taking the time to message me personally! You made me blush, with all your lovely comments! ^^

OOPS!! I'm sorry, but I made a mistake in the last chapter I'd like to correct. I don't know what I was thinking at the time, but I hadn't meant to say that Souta was off to college the next year (he's not old enough!). What I had meant was that he received a sports scholarship for a high school not in Tokyo. I had meant to say he was going away to High School, not University, so I'm sorry for that (he's graduating from Middle School). But instead of correcting it in the chapter, I'd rather tell you here. So sorry! Stupid brain!

Kagome's song for the chapter.

“So I walk up on high
And I step to the edge
To see my world below.
And I laugh at myself
As the tears roll down.
'Cause it's the world I know.
It's the world I know.” - The World I Know, Collective Soul

That's the Way Love Goes

Chapter XIII

The months had gone by so quickly. She had to admit, despite her growing apprehension to her wedding, it was making time fly. There had been no progress with Inuyasha, as far as their love life. He was adamant about keeping this from her, although she didn't know if he knew she wasn't a virgin. Obviously, he was, otherwise he probably wouldn't be making a big deal out of it. She smirked, wondering what it would be like to take away the only innocence the hanyou had left. He was passionate in so many ways, and she was sure he would be the same in bed.

Her body and mind no longer as pure as they once were - especially her heart, which wasn't even whole any longer - she had no qualms envisioning it. It made her blood heat and her pulse quicken to imagine it. But just as quickly, her imagination turned on her; the golden eyes she saw in her mind were rimmed in fuchsia lids, and there were stripes on the face in the same color.

Gasping for breath, she buried herself under her pillow, grateful that Inuyasha was taking a shower. It was only a week until her own wedding, and she was amazed that with his almost complete life here, he had learned quickly, taken to modern things as soon as he could be taught. His favorites were the shower, bed, and video games, to Souta's delight. He was also less anxious here during the night he turned completely human. There weren't many youkai around, and it had been some time since either of them had felt any. This was probably because they preferred the cleaner air of the country rather than the crowded city, but there had been times that they had felt youki, although it always belonged to a low-level demon. After all, if there were anything close to Taiyoukai left, they would certainly despise humans enough to live away from them.

She knew he didn't particularly enjoy the clothing. She had actually bought him kimono, yukata, and hakama to wear when he pleased, which he did often. The constricting modern clothes made him feel claustrophobic in such an already crowded city, although the shrine was a haven he could escape to. She had giggled when he told her of the other reason he hated modern clothing. Apparently, he could hear other girls and young women whispering to each other about him. In his jeans and tight-fitting tee-shirts, Inuyasha was quite the creature to behold. But he didn't appreciate being fawned over, and he had told this to Kagome. She had never noticed, but now she laughed when they were out and a gaggle of schoolgirls would talk about how sculpted he was, or how exotic his eyes were. To him, it was a nuisance.

Kagome was aware that he was also irritated that she didn't convey her own gushing onto him. She knew he wanted her to compliment him, but she couldn't find it in herself to do so. Oh, Inuyasha was beautiful in his own right, with his fuzzy ears and strong arms. But he reminded her so strongly of an even more beautiful creature that she couldn't form a coherent thought. The only time she was relived - and a little more appreciative to his form - was when he was human. His last time had been about two weeks ago, and she had nearly made him go back on his personal vow to wait until they were married to consummate their relationship.

Forgetting why she had been upset in the first place, Kagome removed the pillow from over her head and decided to go downstairs for breakfast. It was there that her mother told her the news that shattered Kagome's world completely:

They were moving out.

Oh, not all of them. Apparently, her mother had thought her behavior so improved, and seeing that she had finally moved on, that she was taking her grandfather and little brother and moving to the country. Not until after the wedding, of course. A few weeks after, to be exact. Souta would graduate, leaving them anyways to go to college. And jii-chan was getting old, needing the fresher air. Apparently - to Kagome's complete ignorance - the family owned a home in Shimane, and had been rotting away with disuse. Kagome couldn't help but feel a little left out as her mother told her how her father had planned to retire there with her when Kagome was married and settled as priestess.

She was completely blown away. Her father had known she would be priestess? And not only that, but had counted on it! What if she had decided to pursue psychology, like she had originally planned? She voiced her concern out loud, but her mother shook her head.

“In the event that you had decided to go in another direction… well, we would have given the other home to you. We weren't going to hold it against you, dear.”

The utter sincerity in her mother's voice got to her, and she felt the sting of tears in her nose.

“Hey, what's wrong?” she heard Inuyasha say gently from the stairs.

Damn irritating demon senses. “Nothing, Inuyasha. It's just that… they're leaving.”

His eyes widened before his brow scrunched together in a `v' shape.

With a sigh, Kagome told him what her mother had just explained. In truth, he was beyond ecstatic to have a home to call his own with the woman he loved, but he also knew that it was going to hurt Kagome tremendously to lose her family. And they would be a few hours away, not just minutes. She relied on them daily, especially her mother. He was going to have a hard time keeping her happy without them, and that was reason enough not to smile at the proclamation.

Later that day, Kagome was still reeling from her mother's news when Inuyasha said something that brought her up short. It was odd, because he never initiated; he usually tagged along with her if she needed to go somewhere.

“Let's go out, Kagome,” he said, putting a hand on her back as he sat next to her on the bed.

She turned to look at him, a dazed look in her eyes. “Wha…?”

“Let's do something special. Go somewhere you like to go.”

“Somewhere… I like… to go…?” She said it as if she no longer knew what she liked or what she wanted.

Inuyasha frowned, not knowing how to deal with this. At least before, when she was crying and depressed, he knew what to do. But now, it was like she was in shock, and he had no idea how to handle it. He knew it was because her family was leaving, but how could he tell them to stay? She needed them so much, but wasn't it selfish to make them cancel their plans? No, he would find a way to make Kagome happy himself.

She was still staring at him with unseeing eyes, so he shook her a little. She finally looked at him.

“C'mon,” was all the warning he gave before scooping her up and jumping out the window.

Once outside, he easily carried her to Goshinboku and jumped up, placing them within the boughs of the great tree. Once she was secure on a thick branch, he grinned devilishly. “Don't move,” he instructed. Here wide eyes said enough as she nodded frantically. He disappeared for a few moments, only to return with a thin blanket. It was then that Kagome realized she was shivering from the cool spring air. He placed it around her, and she smiled at him, thankful. He grinned in return. Once she was safely wrapped and warm, he lifted her like a Persian rug over his shoulder, and she `eep'ed as he lifted them higher into the Sacred Tree's branches. When they were near the top, he pulled her down, and she finally opened her eyes.

There, at the top of the tree that held so many memories for her, she added another period of time that she would fold away to open later, when she needed it. Goshinboku swayed with the gentle wind and parted its' branches, allowing Kagome to see the stars so clearly she thought she could pick them out of the sky. She smiled then, a genuine smile, not the one she often used to keep everyone's worry over her at bay. He held her close, and they watched the night slowly turn into a deeper black.

She fell asleep quicker than he would have thought, so he carried her back to her room, careful not to jostle her. When she was safely in her bed again, he laid next to her, wrapped his arms around her, and let sleep claim him.

~~~~~%~~@

The next day, it seemed she had gotten over her shock. She still put on the same fake smile, letting her mom think everything was fine. But the hanyou knew the truth. She didn't want them to go, but would never make them stay. Was it because she was the most selfless person in the world? Or because she thought she could handle her new life with Inuyasha, just the two of them? He snorted, assuming the first.

But she had seemed a little distant today, and he wondered why. He was almost positive she had had a good time last night - was she nervous about the wedding? She shouldn't be. Everything was going smoothly. Gramps was in his room, practicing his lines - Inuyasha could hear him from their room, chanting away. Mama was going shopping later, to buy the items she would need for the reception's dinner. And Kagome was supposed to pick up her dress today - they had called last night to tell her the final adjustments had been made.

She would bring Eri with her, the only friend that hadn't looked scandalized when she said she was getting married. Yuka and Ayumi had sniggered, probably thinking lewd thoughts. They were invited, of course, although Kagome had instructed them all not to tell Hojo - even f the boy was honorable, Inuyasha was not, and might start something. None of them had to know it wouldn't be a legal wedding.

So Kagome puttered around the house, looking just like a soon-to-be-bride would, although inside, she felt awful. She knew that deep down inside, she was only doing this for Inuyasha. She didn't want to be married. It consoled her that it wasn't real - they weren't going to be legally wed, but that didn't mean much, since to Inuyasha, it would still be very real. She refused to think of why she didn't want to be married. She hadn't thought of him since Rin's wedding, and she didn't want to spiral into depression on a day that would mean so much to her hanyou. Anyways, what did she expect? Sesshoumaru didn't exist in this time period - she refused to think of him as dead, but perhaps he was on holiday in Cambodia? - and even if he did, it wasn't like he would swoop in at the last minute to save her from the biggest emotional mistake of her life. Right?

She snorted at her own ridiculousness. Right. Sesshoumaru, after centuries of… well, whatever he had been doing, would suddenly appear - on a white horse and all, no less - and sweep her up into his arms and tell her he had been waiting for this chance to take her away. It was to laugh! And laugh she did, when she suddenly envisioned the horse to be Entei, the powerful demon horse. Oh boy, she was losing it. Get it together! she scolded herself as she slapped her face lightly. She was surprised to find her cheek wet when she pulled her hand from her face.

After lunch, Kagome went upstairs to get dressed to leave the shrine. She had been wearing her miko outfit, since she had taken over completely, with her grandfather obsessively reciting his prayers for the wedding. She slipped into a skirt and blouse, putting the tan coat on she had bought for Rin's wedding. She smiled, remembering how beautiful the young woman had looked and how she had beamed at Kohaku, with him returning the gesture. She hadn't seen them in almost a week and decided she should probably see them one more time before the wedding day.

Lately, she had traded her practical loafers for heels, and found she liked them, especially since she wasn't traipsing around the Feudal Era looking for evil hanyou. Her legs looked great, and they made her taller; she was taller than Inuyasha sometimes. On her way out the door, she slipped into the simple black pumps and felt good for the first time in days as she walked down the shrine steps.

Inuyasha had gone with Kagome's mother, helping to carry the sacks of rice and bags of groceries needed. It seemed like too much food to him for the small gathering, but he supposed she knew what she was doing. He wondered what Kagome was doing, and if she had picked up the dress yet. Knowing her, she was dawdling; window shopping and giggling with her friends.

It hadn't taken long. The dress fit beautifully, and no further adjustments had to be made. Eri squealed - the dress was so Western - and praised Kagome for her choice of attire. Kagome smiled and laughed, but she didn't find any real joy in the day. The elderly seamstress patted her hand, chalking her mood up to pre-wedding jitters; that was the most annoying part. She wasn't nervous at all. But how would she explain that she was only getting married to make her best friend happy? If Inuyasha found out that she didn't truly love him as he did her… His heart would surely be broken beyond repair, perhaps worse than her own. So if she could do what it took to make him happy, after getting her past the most painful ordeal in her life, she would do it.

She chatted happily with Eri, who was dating a boy named Akiyama, and it kept her mind off things. This was what her modern friends were good for. Her Feudal friends - more like family - knew too much about her problems and the cause of them to actually help. And they were all getting on with their lives: Rin and Kohaku were married, Sango and Miroku were having children, and Shippou… well, he was still growing, but Kaede had told her that Shippou had recently shown interest in a human girl in the village.

It pained her to hear that her fox kit was growing up and she couldn't bear to be around to witness it. Oh, she would visit, yes. But she had traded her long visits with long intervals for short visits that were sooner. And every time, fear and apprehension still gripped her with a cold, iron hand.

At the shrine steps, Eri waved to her and Kagome returned it. She hadn't gotten but ten steps up when Inuyasha appeared, a huge grin on his face.

“You're back,” he said breathlessly.

Kagome laughed. “So are you, apparently. You know,” she scolded, “you really shouldn't do that. What if someone saw?”

As usual, he scoffed. “Keh, they wouldn't get too far,” he said in a familiar tone, brandishing his claws.

It was too much. It was all so familiar to her early days. She could only sigh, which told Inuyasha something was wrong. Usually she put up a hell of a fight about this kind of stuff, although he hadn't jeopardized his heritage in some time. Despite her protests, he grabbed the garment bag from her, swung an arm around her waist, and bounded up the stairs.

She rolled her eyes at him when they landed. He grinned. “I'm gonna go put this away,” she told him, then started for the house. He followed.

Kagome grit her teeth. Sometimes, it was really annoying how he followed her around, ready to pick up the pieces should she suddenly decide to shatter. She may be depressed, but she didn't need him watching over her every second. But ultimately, it would hurt his feelings, and they hadn't fought in such a long time…

Deciding it was easier to just forget it, she slid the door aside to access the inner part of the house. Once her dress was safely within her closet, she found the hanyou on her bed, his head propped up on his bent arm. He patted the spot next to him.

“C'mere,” he said, his voice smooth.

Despite her previous annoyance with him, her heart began to pound. He grinned, hearing it. She had the decency to blush. Regardless, she sat next to him. But that wasn't enough. He rolled his eyes in annoyance before he pulled her down so that she was flat on her back. He stayed in his sideways position. He trailed his fingers down her arm, attempting to soothe her. She closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation. When he was satisfied that she was calm, he rolled over to kiss her. She responded healthily, kissing him back.

&&&& MINOR INU/KAG CITRUS &&&&

When he was sure her undivided attention was on him, he began touching her. First her face, caressing her cheek. Then her neck, along the fine muscles there. He smoothed her shoulder and arm, running up and down the length of it. She seemed eager, one of her hands on his face and the other fisted in his kimono. She moaned a little into his mouth, and it set him on fire. Brazen now, he let his trailing hand move down the valley between her breasts, and she made a little noise that told him she was eager for his touch. Of course, she was always ready for him. It was he that didn't want to complete the act, and he wouldn't give in now. But… if he could give her one thing…

With resolve, he inexpertly grasped a breast, and she gasped, pulling away from his lips as she arched her back. He couldn't believe it brought such a strong reaction from her. He recaptured her lips, angrier now, bold with his new knowledge. Letting instinct take over, his thumb grazed her nipple and she whimpered, as if helpless under his touch. He leaned further into her, his erection pressing into her thigh hungrily. She groaned, and it pushed him further. He plucked at her nipple, making her slither around on her bed, needing completion. But it wouldn't be today. Smiling against her lips, Inuyasha forced himself to let go and pull away. Man, he was going to need a cold shower after this one.

&&&&&&&&&

They were both gasping for breath but Inuyasha spoke anyways. “Feel better?”

She could hear the smile in his voice. She leaned up on her elbow to smirk at him, an eyebrow raised in question. “No. If anything, I feel worse,” she told him.

He could tell from her expression that she was teasing, and he swelled with male pride. Now he wouldn't feel as inadequate next to her on their wedding night.

He grinned as he stood, the evidence of their makeout session obvious even through the thick hakama and kimono. She giggled, hoping it was worse for him than for her. Served him right. After all, she actually knew what she was missing; he, a virgin, didn't.

“I'm gonna go, er… take a shower.”

Kagome laughed heartily. “You do that,” she replied.

When he was gone, she sank back on her bed, feeling a little lighter than usual.

~~~~~%~~@

The night before the wedding, Kagome had decided that she was going to have a talk with Inuyasha. He deserved to know the truth, and to be honest, she hadn't told anyone the truth. Well, except Rin. Of course, she wasn't going to go that far with the hanyou. She didn't want to crush his soul. But he needed to know what happened before she married him. It wasn't going to be easy, but it was necessary.

A small part of her hoped that he would be too upset to marry her.

The family had dinner together, and they managed to avoid speaking of the wedding. In truth, she was getting tired of it, and couldn't wait for tomorrow to be over. Even when she had visited her friends on the other side of the well a few days ago, they had pummeled her with questions. Sango, who was taking care of the wedding in that era, was the most annoying. Rin had saved her several times by asking about her friends on her own time and at one point asked about her family, which gave Kagome the opportunity to talk about her families' impending move. Sango, knowing how much her friend's family meant to her, held her close. Rin, knowing how much more this would break her, could only listen. Just how much more pain would she have to endure before she was happy?

It had kept them from asking further questions, however, and Kagome had gone home shortly after, part of her `visit-more-often-but-for-shorter-periods' plan. Every night, however, Inuyasha had gone back to the Sengoku Jidai to finalize some touches on the wedding. He wouldn't allow Kagome to sleep alone, so he went early and came back soon after. And Kagome was grateful that she could have some time alone to think, but was also glad to have him back when she was sleepy, since his very presence chased away the haunting dreams that made her scream in her sleep.

Now, before he would go to the Feudal Era, she needed to speak with him. He lolled on the bed, lazy and happy after a big meal. She was silent, but that wasn't a surprise to him; these days, it took a little prodding just to get her to answer a question. It was as if she was constantly lost in her own mind. He chanced a look at her, and she seemed pensive. He assumed she was thinking about tomorrow's events and reached over to caress her arm. She looked up and smiled, but he got the feeling she needed to get something off her chest.

He looked at her questioningly, hoping that was enough to get her talking. He wasn't let down.

“I… need to tell you, before we get married…”

Uh-oh. He didn't like the sound of this. His ears flattened against his head in a show of anxiety.

“I'm so sorry, Inuyasha,” she began, tears starting to fall as she spoke. “I feel like you need to know all this before tomorrow. I don't want to scare you away, but I don't want there to be any lies, or false pretenses. You told me once that I needed to talk to someone, but I wasn't ready. Now, I am.” She panted, her breath coming in jagged strips as her sobbing and ranting ravaged her lungs.

He sat up now, realizing what she meant. She wasn't calling off the wedding, but after this… would he want to?

After several moments of catching up with her pained lungs, she continued, slowly. “I would be lying if I didn't say he was the love of my life,” she said, the pain on his face all too clear. “But that's over now. It… killed me when he made me leave. You know,” she chuckled without humor, a dark, looming sound, “we had even talked about it before. Me and… him. I told him he was beginning to sound like himself more and more, and he asked if I didn't want his `old self' to come back. I told him I didn't care, that I just didn't want him to forget me. God, I was stupid.” She sighed, remembering how ominous that conversation had felt, as if her fate was laughing at her for guessing the future. Inuyasha looked at her, annoyed for thinking she was stupid. After all, it hadn't been her fault. It had been Sesshoumaru's. “I told him. I told him… that he might not want me anymore, after…” The tears came more freely now as she remembered the conversation, his voice replaying in her head over and over. The words she was about to speak. “And he told me that it was `nonsense'. That it was impossible for him to forget me and even more impossible to stop loving me.”

She buried her face in her hands, sobbing. Inuyasha wasn't sure how he should feel. Hurt? Betrayed? Angry? Sympathetic? He realized now why she had felt the need to get this off her chest - it seemed like this had been lodged inside her, dying to get out, but she had been afraid to tell him, for fear of hurting him. Not that it hurt any less now. And after knowing that Sesshoumaru had reacted so strongly to his proposal to her, he wondered if his brother had told the truth when he had had that conversation with Kagome. If he hadn't cared, he wouldn't have gave two shits about them getting married. Was it possible that he still cared for Kagome? Maybe even still loved her? Grateful as he was for this new life with the woman he loved, he wondered why his brother didn't act. Why was he holding back? His actions didn't make sense. It was if his conscience had been split in two, and couldn't make up his mind whether he hated or loved the girl. Keh. Well, he knew his choice. He was marrying his choice tomorrow, no matter what.

It didn't take long for Kagome to get a hold on herself; she had a lot of practice doing it. She finally looked up to see Inuyasha's reaction, expecting him to be red in the face with anger. Instead, she saw a resolve and love in his eyes that almost made her start crying all over again. He suddenly grabbed her up into a fierce hug.

“I won't push you away, Kagome. I could never forget you. I'll always want you. And I'll always - always - love you. I promise.”

It was enough to throw her into hysterics again. She wanted to tell him not to make her any promises, she wasn't worth it, to not pledge anything, but how could she when she was making the ultimate sacrifice tomorrow? She knew better. This was Inuyasha, who had sacrificed himself so many times for her safety. How many times had he risked death - been so close to it - so that she could be safe? Even in his human form, he repeatedly put her life before his own. And now, she would do the same. To make him happy, she would put his needs before hers. So she dried her tears and kissed him.

He left soon after, promising to be back soon. He just wanted to overlook the finalities of their Feudal wedding. She was glad again for the time to herself, and went to the bathroom to fill the tub with scalding water to burn away her impurities. She wished she would melt, because surely, she didn't deserve Inuyasha. Clearly, the gods didn't think she was fit to love a demon, but a half-demon was fine. Was it because she had done something wrong? Had she angered the gods?

Well, they could throw whatever they wanted her way. She wasn't going to give them the satisfaction of winning. If they had set out to break her, then they had accomplished that. But she would pull herself together, and - gods be damned - she would live her life the way she needed to.

~~~~~%~~@

He decided to let her sleep in, schedule be damned. What were they going to do, send someone after them? Keh, that was the good thing about the well - only he and Kagome could go through. So they would have to wait. And if it set back both weddings… well, who cares? They couldn't start the party without them, now could they?

She needed the extra rest, especially today. It had been late when he had come back last night, and she had still been awake, waiting for him. But as soon as he had his arms around her, she was asleep. It was strange to him. Kagome was always so strong, always the one you went to when something was wrong. And now she was the one who needed protection, mostly from herself. Even when she faced Naraku or any of his minions, she had been brave and steadfast. But now… There were days where he worried she would walk into traffic on purpose. Or perhaps `accidentally' trip down the shine steps - from the top. Maybe even decide that she needed to see one of the huge buildings in Tokyo… from the top. He didn't mind looking after her, but it also made him nervous to leave her.

There was a part of him - deep down - that knew she still loved Sesshoumaru. There were nights where he heard her curse his brother with all she was worth and swore she hated him, and sometimes, he would believe her. But if she were only angry, she wouldn't be so… broken. Instead, it seemed like she was being angry in order to placate him, and that made Inuyasha upset. Would they ever get past the Colossus that was her relationship with Sesshoumaru?

Well, he would make sure of that tonight. He had plans, and he would make sure she could only think of him. There was no way that she was going to see Sesshoumaru when she looked at him anymore. He had thought the clothes would be enough. Not only did they allow him to follow her around town, but he that with modern clothes on, he would look even less like his brother. It helped… a little. But the times that she made the connection were always when they were too close to notice things like clothes. It was the eyes, the hair, the claws, the fangs. What could he do? There was only one thing, and he swore to himself that if it would make her happier, he would do it.

But first, he would let her sleep.

~~~~~%~~@

He had come to check on Rin when he noticed the commotion. Curious, he found a great many villagers actively going into Inuyasha's forest. He could smell Rin and her new husband there, along with the miko's other friends. Sticking to the branches of trees, Sesshoumaru watched as they gathered around the altar where he had seen his little girl become a wife only a few moons ago. Although now, the arch looked different. More elegant. It was draped with ribbons and silk, and there were vines of crimson flowers entwined in the arch. What was going on? Was someone else getting married? And how dare they have a lovelier wedding than his Rin?

Creeping closer, he heard the taijiya giving orders, a baby boy in her arms. “Yes, that's fine over there. No, Hiro, that needs to go in front of the altar. Atsushi, you need to leave that on the stage. Well, of course!”

He had always known she was the strongest-willed human woman he had seen - apart from the miko - but today she was a downright tyrant! He would have chuckled, except that he had the oddest feeling of impending doom. The hairs on the back of his neck rose in anticipation, and this was something he didn't experience often. There were no youkai around; what could possibly cause him to feel this way?

He finally saw Rin, looking taller than he had seen her last, and she was also helping with the wedding. She had obviously come from the old miko's hut, carrying a stew. Her husband, Kohaku, followed dutifully with an enormous basket of bread. He was ordered to guard the food - obviously, he was already dressed for the upcoming nuptials - as Rin left to ready herself. The monk appeared then to take the place of his wife, and she left as well.

It wasn't long before the two returned. They were joined by the older miko, and then the monk abruptly left. The women were finishing some last touches when he returned, wearing ceremonial robes. So the monk is performing the rituals? He thought it strange, knowing the monk could not lawfully join anyone after being married and having children. Everyone then took their places but remained casual, still laughing and speaking to one another. It was more casual than was the norm, as well as the odd placing of the monk as priest and the lack of villagers. For Rin's wedding, the whole town had shown, if he remembered correctly. But now, it seemed only about two-thirds attended.

His curiosity and panic rose with each minute, driving him insane with doubt. Should he stay? Should he leave? He wanted to know who was getting married in such an odd fashion but he also had the oddest sensation that he knew exactly whose wedding it was…

And then, at the same time that his brain unlocked the secret, he felt the magic of the well, and felt her. If it hadn't been so unbecoming of one of his stature, Sesshoumaru would have fainted. It was too much. All the friends, the casual atmosphere, the monk performing, the lack of villagers - surely, not all of them supported the marriage between a hanyou and human.

And then she walked through the trees, a vision of black and white. Her lustrous, raven hair fell in waves around her bare shoulders and her dress was white, contrasting sharply. He was surprised he could hear the gasps from the attendees - were they scandalized, or did they find her as enchanting as he did? - over the roar of his blood in his ears. She wore the toned-down version of the traditional makeup, as had Rin, but it was her clothing that astounded the others. The cloth, a shimmering white, left the entire top of her shoulders bare, only covering her breasts and then traveling down the curves of her body, clinging to her waist and hips, then flaring out. It was downright indecent! It was disgraceful! Shameful!

And Sesshoumaru thought she had never looked so beautiful. It was unbearable, and he left as silently as he had approached.

~~~~~%~~@

The ceremony, to Kagome, went on for forever. She wanted it all to be done with. As it were, she was an hour and a half behind schedule because Inuyasha had let her sleep in. She was grateful - how would it look to yawn in front of all these people? - but then she would have to rush once it was over. Inuyasha had told her that everyone would wait for them, but she was tired of making others wait for her. She had done that for years, hadn't she? So she would do her best today to make everyone else happy. After all she wasn't getting married for her own benefit.

She had to admit, Inuyasha looked dapper. She had foregone the formality of a tuxedo, picking a plain black suit instead. But it was all black - from the pants to the tie. Even the cufflinks were a shiny onyx. They were complete opposites - she in white with her loose ebony hair, and he in black with his wild fair hair. He had accepted it with grace - knowing she was going to be in modern clothes, he had wanted the same, and so they had wound up like this. She had completely forgot how shamed the villagers would be by her bare top; if she had thought it out more, she would have brought a shawl.

And now, Inuyasha couldn't take his eyes off her. He hadn't ever since she had emerged from the bathroom wearing that… thing. How did it even stay up? Not that he cared if it fell. At this point, he was willing to forego the second wedding and begin their new life now. But it was important to her, and he would give her that.

He didn't remember actually saying anything, but he had said what was necessary when he was told, and soon, it was over. The crowd had applauded, and he swung Kagome around happily before kissing her in a way that made most avert their eyes and cover the gaze of their little ones. Soon, they began eating and talking, and a few of the villagers had brought instruments to play, which made for a merry time. The air was perfect; it was spring, and the mixture of new life along with a joyous celebration actually lifted Kagome's spirits. It wasn't that she was happy, per say. More like she was happy to see everyone so happy.

Before long, some of the villages began to leave, needing to tend to their chores or families. Little by little, they left until it was only Kagome and her circle of closest friends. Miroku was the first to hug them both, and Kagome was surprised to see Inuyasha become emotional. He held the monk longer than was normal, but no one thought it odd; the two were like brothers after being through so much together. Inuyasha held no other male in such high regard, and placed trust in him like he did no other. Kagome hugged him and thanked him for a beautiful ceremony, to which he told her he was proud to be able to. Sango was next, telling Kagome to enjoy her married life and that she would miss her.

“Why? I'm not going anywhere,” Kagome had said, a puzzled look on her face.

A tear slid down as Sango nodded. “I only meant that you'll be visiting less now.”

“Oh, Sango. Wild horse youkai couldn't keep me from you and my little nephew!”

Sango held her emotions in check. She was strong that way. “Hai, Kagome-chan.”

Shippou was next, and Kagome groaned when she noticed that he was even taller than before. He was up to her chest now. “Kagome,” was all he could manage. Everyone had told him to be strong, and he couldn't squeeze out another word.

She bent slightly to hold him, and they stayed that way for a while. “I love you, Shippou. If… if I ever had a son, I'd want him to be just like you.”

A tear escaped her as she whispered in his pointed ear, although Inuyasha had been the only one to hear. She sounded so sad, and he wondered what her true intent was.

When she straightened, Kohaku approached her. “Thank you, Kagome-sama, for helping me have a life.”

Kagome scoffed. “It was Kikyou that gave you life, not me,” she said. It was then that she realized that she and Kohaku had never spoken of it.

Kohaku smiled. “Not really,” he said, looking at his wife.

Kagome grinned when she understood. “Well then, you're welcome.”

And then Rin, head bowed, was in front of her. The younger woman flew at Kagome, tears streaming, holding her so closely Kagome had trouble breathing. “Please,” she whispered in the miko's ear.

And Kagome wanted to cry. That one word… She could hear everything meant behind it, everything that Rin wanted to say, everything that couldn't be said with so many others around, especially those with excellent hearing.

Please. Please, don't so this. Please, you're not ready. Please, give it time.

Please, Kagome. We can be a happy family again someday.

And so Kagome began to cry, ruining her makeup. Rin sobbed just as hard, the two ensconced in a grief that only they knew of. Everyone except Kohaku looked stunned - what was going on? Did Kagome know? Had she been playing ignorant? Why did they still have to keep up the charade?

Inuyasha looked just as confused, so they all held their tongues. He only heard Kagome utter two words, and they could mean anything, and it would puzzle him for the entire time that he and Kagome were together. “I… can't…,” she whispered, obviously meant only for Rin's ears.

When they finally parted, Rin wiping her face on her kimono sleeve and Sango offering Kagome a piece of cloth as she smeared her wedding makeup into a swirl of color, the small group turned to leave. It was then that Kaede approached her. Inuyasha uncharacteristically told her he would wait at the well and left.

They stared at each other for a moment, and Kagome wondered why, with everyone's emotions so heavy after such a joyous occasion, this felt like `goodbye' instead of `see you later'. She couldn't shake the feeling, but what could they know that she didn't?

Kaede let out a long-suffering sigh. “Kagome, do not fret. Everything will be well, one day.”

It was as if those words were what Kagome had been searching for all this time; they brought a lightness to her that she hadn't felt in some time. “For how long must I suffer, Kaede-sama?”

Kaede studied her with her one good eye. “For as long as is necessary.”

“Why is it necessary for me? Why must I suffer?”

“Sometimes,” Kaede added sagely, “it is not your life that is being strung by the fates. Sometimes, the actions of another are what determine your suffering.”

Well, isn't that the god-damned truth. But what the hell did it mean?

Kagome seemed to want to ask her more, but Kaede had no more to tell. “Relax,” she said soothingly. “One day, your destiny shall find you. You will learn to live to please yourself.”

This brought Kagome up short. Had she not already fulfilled her destiny? Wasn't it over? Wasn't her life hers to live already? But the questions could not be voiced, because the old priestess had already turned away, plodding towards her home in the dimming light of the lowering sun. Shaking her head, Kagome walked gingerly towards the well, lifting the ends of the dress so they didn't get dirty.

~~~~~%~~@

On the other side of the well, Inuyasha and Kagome relaxed in the living room - still in their wedding attire - as her mother busied herself putting the food outside and lighting torches and candles. Souta had gone upstairs to change under his mother's orders, and her grandfather was outside, waiting for them to come out. He was excited - he didn't often get asked to perform weddings (for obvious reasons).

The arrival of her three friends made the occasion complete, although they were made to stay outside. Soon, Souta bounded down the stairs, and he looked so grown up she was reminded of Shippou, and it made her cry all over again.

“You wanna ruin this face stuff, too?” Inuyasha asked, holding her closer. He was referring to the modern makeup she had applied after coming home and washing herself clean of the cake-y traditional stuff.

She laughed weakly and wiped her eyes, glad she had bought waterproof mascara. Souta had frozen at the bottom of the stairs, worried he had done something wrong. Inuyasha waved him off, and Souta happily left the house to wait outside. Finally, Kagome's mom untied her apron to reveal her dress. She had known there wouldn't be time later, and so she had simply cooked with it on. Now, she grabbed two plates and called to Inuyasha. He followed, taking a plate from her. A minute later, Eri came inside to escort Kagome outside.

“Ready?” she smiled.

“As ready as I'll ever be,” Kagome sighed.

Foregoing everything normal and foreign, Kagome only walked outside in her dress, putting her heels on at the sliding wooden door. She walked outside to a more comfortable atmosphere, with the only members of attendance being Ayumi, Yuka, Eri, her brother, and her mother. Jii-chan didn't count, since he was the priest. And she had to admit, her mother had done a lovely job. Rin and Sango had, too. They had all completely taken over, with only the dress and Inuyasha's outfit being left to her. Of course, that meant it gave her that much more time to think, since she wasn't actively planning the wedding, but it had pleased her many wedding planners to do so, and she had always lived to please everyone else. It brought back memories of Kaede's words to her just a few hours ago. Was that what the old woman had meant? Would she have to learn to stop pleasing everyone but herself? Impossible. She had lived this way for a long time. Really, the only times she had been selfish were when she had been so possessive about Inuyasha, so long ago. And then again, with…

But no, she wouldn't think of him now. Not with her second wedding of the day.

A tiny part of her mind wondered what Sesshoumaru would think if he knew she was marrying his brother. He wouldn't care, that's what.

And before she knew it, her grandfather was performing the ceremony that was similar to one she had attended several hours ago, except instead of in the breezy, spring day, it was during the star-filled spring night. Oh, and almost five hundred years in the future.

She was amazed that her grandfather had managed to be respectful, despite his obvious disapproval with the fact that Inuyasha was half demon. Apparently, he didn't want his lineage tainted with youkai blood, even if it was only by one-quarter. But now, he seemed to have some to terms with it, and it was a lovely ceremony. She was so lucky to have two great priests in her life that were able to do this for her. And so many loving friends and family. And a man that truly loved her. She smiled at Inuyasha as the rituals came to a close, and he grinned happily, opting for a gentle embrace and soft kiss this time. Perhaps he had gotten it out of his system during the first wedding? Unlikely. His excitement was evident when he pressed closer into her before they parted. She rolled her eyes as she smirked at him.

“Down, boy,” she said softly so no one else would hear.

He grinned so that a fang showed, and she giggled, knowing they wouldn't be able to show any passion for one another for sometime, since the house would be full.

Then they ate, a stereo playing music softly as they al dined al fresco under the Sacred Tree. The candles were beautiful, and she saw now that her mother - or perhaps her brother - had placed little twinkling lights everywhere. They were wrapped around the arch the ceremony had taken place under, and they were lining the tables that held the food. How had she not tripped over a cord? Really, she was so scatterbrained these days. Kagome enjoyed her second grand meal for the day and was glad she had skipped breakfast. Where would she fit all this food? They all talked, her mother catching up with Eri, since her mother was Kagome's mothers' good friend. Jii-chan instructed Inuyasha on the proper technique for handling a sword - Kagome wanted to die laughing, hearing this - and Souta spoke with Ayumi and Yuka. To Kagome's chagrin, they both were eyeing her brother like he was a steak. It was disturbing. She interjected, trying to keep their attention.

A few hours after it had begun, everyone rose, almost simultaneously. They still chatted, but they all helped bring in dishes, decorations, and other items. Kagome tried to help, but they swatted her away. In no time, it was cleaned, except for the arch, which still twinkled next to Goshinboku, where it would for years.

Yuka and Ayumi were the first to leave. Eri hung around, and Kagome soon found out why. To her utter horror - and embarrassment - Kagome's family, for the night, was staying with Eri's family. It was obvious why. Her face as red as a cherry - she was no virgin, but her family didn't need to know that. And they certainly didn't need to encourage her to have sex! - Kagome said goodbye as quickly as possible, sinking to the floor after everyone was gone, her hands hiding her face in mortification.

Inuyasha chuckled. “What, you chicken all of a sudden?”

She glared at him darkly. “I have no problems with sex, Inuyasha,” she ground out, “but I don't need my family to know when I'm doing it, let alone expecting it.” She shuddered for effect.

“Well, I don't care what they think,” he said in a husky voice, taking her hand to help her up, “but I know what I want.”

She looked up to find his eyes darkened to an ocher color, and although they smoldered, Kagome felt uneasy. They were just so… familiar. Well, of course they were familiar. She had only looked into these eyes for the past four years. But, it was something else. She shook her head, trying to escape the tendrils of remembrance.

He could see the indecision there, and it was only once she had really looked into his eyes. God, but this was killing him. To be finally married to the one he loved, only to find that she was thinking of his brother? But he couldn't blame her. This was his fault. Sesshoumaru had been right: if he hadn't hesitated, they would have been married - possibly with children - by now and she would not have these memories of his older brother. And so it was his problem to fix.

He continued to pull on her arm gently, assisting her in rising off the floor. She kicked off her heels, which clacked against the wooden sliding door. He carried her up the stairs and into her room - he wondered if they would move rooms when her family was gone - and gently placed her on the bed. She didn't seem eager to sit, so she stood, making him back away. Turning and reaching behind her, she unzipped her dress, letting it slip to the floor in a heap of shimmering white. She stood in a white corset and lacy white boyshorts that contrasted with her tanned skin, and Inuyasha could only stare. She was so… so bold! He suppressed a growl, remembering that this wouldn't be her first time undressing.

&&&&& MINOR INUKAG CITRUSAHEAD! WARNING! &&&&&

She didn't get a chance to turn back around before Inuyasha was behind her, his hands wrapped around her. He couldn't believe how amazing it felt to touch her bare skin. It was electrifying. He refrained from exploring for the moment, letting his lips touch the back of her shoulder and neck. In a lightning-quick move, he spun her and took her lips possessively. She responded eagerly, and her hands fumbled for the buttons on his shirt, his jacket and tie being long since removed. When his chest was bare, she pressed her hands into him eagerly, and he groaned with pleasure. She ran her hands eagerly over his taught, muscular chest and shoulders, and he seemed to shiver under her touch.

She broke for air, and he buried his face in her hair, making her throw her head back in pleasure as he kissed and licked her neck. His strong arms encircled her, and as one moved up and down her back, the other played in her hair. She pulled his face up, forcing her lips to his, and he grunted in approval. She reached down and slipped out his belt, making him long for her even more. Kagome smiled against his lips as she read his eagerness when she undid the fastenings of his pants. She added the sensation of rubbing seductively against him as she did so. This time it was he who pulled away for air, and he had to stagger back away from her, lest he embarrass himself.

Kagome smiled seductively as she stepped up to him, her hips swaying with her movements. His head was lowered as he gasped for breath and tried to calm himself. But it wasn't effective, since the damned woman wouldn't give him his peace. In a matter of seconds, he could see her long, shapely legs, and then the place between her thighs that even now, beckoned to him. He swallowed thickly and growled.

&&&&& END OF CITRUSY BITS &&&&&

When she was close enough, she lifted his chin with a finger, but what she saw was enough to not only drain her face of blood, but any sexual feeling she had was no abruptly gone. He looked at her heatedly, but the crimson eyes with turquoise slits only reminded her of the one she really wanted, the one who should be in her arms now. She stumbled away from him, and it was enough to make his eyes turn back to their normal amber shade. Concern etched into his face, he reached for her.

“K… Kagome?” It was unmistakable. Her pale face, her suddenly anxious demeanor. He had felt his youki taking over and was unsure of what exactly she had seen, but whatever it had been, it had reminded her of Sesshoumaru, of that he was sure.

His expression could only be described as pained, not only for her, but what he was sure he had to do now. He knew it would hurt her, and he was certain that at times, she would hate him. But for her to go one, for them to be happy, he had to do it. It was all for her.

“Do you trust me?” he said softly, breaking her thoughts.

She had begun to cry - mostly pity and anger for herself - and she looked at him with watery eyes, confused. He was back to normal, and his more muscular shape and furry ears calmed her. She nodded, not trusting her voice. There was a resolve in his eyes, but there was something else. Pain. She misunderstood, thinking he was pained because of her hesitance. She assumed that he had figured out she was thinking of his brother. But even though that did hurt him, it was the knowledge of what he would have to do to her that made him feel like running away from her.

With a purposeful stride, he came to the desk where she kept the Sacred Jewel. She watched, puzzled, as he pulled it out and it dangled between his claws. She frowned, wondering where this was going. Again, he turned to her and asked her the question.

“Kagome, do you trust me?”

She cocked her head, and wondered what happened to Inuyasha. He was acting strangely, and the swirl of emotions and events of the day clouded her mind. She couldn't put it all together. “Yes,” she said, her brow still wrinkled in confusion.

He walked to the window, and for a spilt second, Kagome thought he was going to jump out the window and run with the jewel. After all this time, had she misunderstood his intentions? Had he gotten over the fear of his father's blood? Did he still long to become a full demon? But she brushed it all aside, forcing herself to trust him as she said she did.

She watched as he turned his gaze to the sky. He looked peaceful, then. There was a hope to his expression that wasn't there before, and he looked like his thoughts had turned somewhere else, like he was… wishing… upon a star…

I want Kagome to be happy. Please, I wish to be human. For Kagome…

As the colors of ideas clashed together in her head, Kagome screamed as she reached for him. “Inuyasha! NO!”

But it was too late. He was enveloped in a bright light the color of the jewel, and in his self-less wish, the Shikon no Tama granted him what he wanted. His fuzzy ears disappeared, only to have human ones grow where they should be. His hair turned from snowy white to inky black in a cascade of color. And his eyes, a shade of gold she adored, faded to a dark grey. He looked down at his hands, which were now devoid of the long, sharp claws that had once protected himself and his now-wife. He felt up to his teeth, searching for the fangs he knew would not be there. He chuckled to himself. Why should he doubt it? It was the same as when the New Moon assaulted him, wasn't it? The most annoying part was the loss of senses; he would miss that. And the power and speed, of course. But he really wouldn't need that in this time, would he? But the best part… Well, there were two best parts. The first, was that Kagome would never have to look into his eyes ever again and see Sesshoumaru. But the other was the added bonus that without his heightened senses, he could no longer feel his brother's youki mingled within her.

~~~~~%~~@

Gods, he was stupid. It was a commoner's word, but right now, he figured it applied to him. Who had he thought was getting married? Perhaps, deep down, he had hoped that Kagome had turned his brother down and that it was someone else's wedding everyone was bustling for. But all the signs had been there. All her greatest friends were the main ones involved, giving directions, overseeing, applying finishing touches. And the monk… He should have seen that coming. He had thought the monk wouldn't be able to perform the ceremony, but perhaps the humans had changed their laws.

And she had been so lovely, a goddess in white. But she hadn't seemed happy. Why, if she wasn't happy on her wedding day, of all days, was she getting married? And to that filthy-mouthed, manner-less hanyou, at that? What, was she only placating him? His eyes widened as he realized the implications. It would make perfect sense. It was so… Kagome to marry his brother out of guilt. She was such an unselfish creature that he couldn't think of another who would do the same.

But hadn't she loved the half-breed? She had, he told himself accusingly. But she still loves you.

Growling at himself, Sesshoumaru merely told himself there was nothing he could do. She was marrying Inuyasha and if it were against her own wishes, so be it. Besides, he was hours away already, in his own lands.

And yet…

The memory of her broken, haunted face as she listened to her friend marry her to Inuyasha came to him, and it stirred his blood in a way he had tried to ignore. He had finally gotten past his desire, telling himself often that yes, he had cared for her, and still did. But he would not act on it. But now, even that resolve was breaking. What could he do? Could he stop the wedding? Could he whisk her away? Would he have to fight his brother? Surprisingly, he found that he didn't want to. Perhaps he had retained part of his amnesiac self when he reverted back to normal after all. Besides, he didn't even know of a word - let alone a sickness - like amnesia until Kagome came into his life.

Thinking back to his now-foreign memories, he remembered how gentle she had been, and how she had tried to explain to him what had happened, along with her assurances that he would be fine. He remembered how she had checked him for wounds soon after waking, afraid she had harmed him. Her little, shaking, exploring hands, which had made him crazy with want.

And now, he found, he ached for those same hands to explore him once again. He had made a mess of things, and he would make them right. Racing into the forest, he drove himself to top speed, his breath coming easily at first. As he neared eastern Nippon, however, his lungs could not keep up with the furious pace with which he drove his legs. He had to slow, and he felt like his heart would burst from his chest.

He approached the village, but skirted around it towards the tree Inuyasha had once been pinned on. The ceremony had been over for some time. Kagome's scent was fading, as were those of the guests. Even the once-brilliant carmine flowers that adorned the ceremonial arch were now withered, as if to drive home the point. Baring his fangs at the wooden structure, he moved in one fluid leap towards it and with claws extended, dripping poison, he dismembered it. His jaw flexing as he strained to keep from roaring, he ran towards the well, jumping in once he got to it. But as she had told him, the well did not work. Only now was he aware of the presence of one other.

Jumping out so that he would face her, he noticed that she wore almost the same expression as Kagome had earlier. Except she didn't look crushed, as the miko did.

“She's gone,” he heard her say in a frail voice.

He had expected as much. He nodded to acknowledge her. He had always thought that if he were to face her again, it would be a much happier occasion. Neither of them felt much joy at the reunion.

“You're too late,” she said in a voice so shattered, he thought she was speaking from his very soul.

And then, another voice told him the same thing.

`My son, you delude yourself. One day, you will wake up and find that you are too late. And you will hate yourself more than you do now. You will suffer.'

And so it is, father.

He felt the aura of another familiar human coming towards them slowly. He watched as Kohaku walked up behind Rin, holding her close. He hadn't seen the boy look so sad since he was under Naraku's control.

“She can't come back,” Rin said suddenly.

This caught his attention.

“What?” he said, angrier than he had meant.

She cringed into her husband, not afraid of him, but hating the despair she could feel coming off him in waves.

It was Kohaku that answered. “Inuyasha had told us he was going to use the jewel.” Sesshoumaru's eyes widened dramatically in a rare display of emotion. “He's going to wish to be human.”

Sesshoumaru looked away, not able to look at either of them anymore. He was too late. His pride had kept him from the thing - the woman - he loved, and now, as his father had said, he would suffer. To know what he had had, to remember the feel of her, to know what her scent smelled like, and what her skin tasted like, and not be able to touch her again… it was unbearable. But…

“The well?” he growled, the words almost indistinguishable.

Rin shook her head. “Inuyasha said that after the wish was made, he would try to come back. He would have come back by now.”

“Perhaps-”

“No,” she said angrily. It wasn't fair. Here was Kagome's happily ever after - the man she loved, ready for her, finally accepting their relationship and finally swallowing his proud heritage - and it was too late. She was disgusted by the way things had turned out, and she was furious with Sesshoumaru for not seeing it sooner.

He could hear the accusation in that one word. Kagome wasn't coming back, and even if she was… Well, it was useless to ponder about these things. She was gone, and he would wander alone, for the rest of his days.

~~~~~%~~@

In the bottom of the well, Inuyasha held Kagome tightly as she cried. The well had not accepted them, and she had been defeated. He could practically hear her heart crack, then shatter into pieces, never to be put together again. She had been angry, pushing him away. But as the realization sunk in, she allowed him to hold her.

Finally, she stopped crying, but she still wouldn't look at him. She was torn - she was incredibly furious with him for not asking her first; they could have talked about it. She would miss her friends horribly. And then came the incredibly suffocating guilt. For him to have made such a drastic decision - to alter himself completely and forever - he must have known. He must have figured it out. That she still, after over a year, thought of Sesshoumaru. And that sometimes, when she looked into his eyes, it wasn't him she was seeing. The crushing shame was too much, and she felt unbelievably awful.

With a heavy heart, she looked into his grey eyes and kissed him.

-------------END CHAPTER-------------

I want to address a question a fan asked me recently. Sushiko, from my site, Inuyasha-fanfiction, asked, (to paraphrase) `why Sesshoumaru doesn't have a castle or palace like in other stories and why he's just in the wilderness. He should be rich.' Here's my answer:

“In the manga, it's never been said that he does or doesn't have any of those things. I prefer to think he doesn't have that stuff. He's not an all-conquering lord, like Oda Nobunaga. He has his land, and that's all he cares about. He doesn't need money (what would he use it for?) and he wouldn't have a castle or palace, because he can hardly stand Jaken, so it doesn't make sense. Other people write that stuff in their stories because they need it - my story doesn't require it - in fact, there would be no point, because as time went on, it would get torn down anyways, in Kagome's time. In the manga, he's constantly traveling throughout Japan and that's how I'm keeping him.”