A Year in the Life: Irreplaceable

He shouldn’t of done it and he knew he shouldn’t. He loved Marie, her and nobody else and he knew it would devastate her. But he’d been drunk and horny and that busty blonde wouldn’t stop flirting with him.

“Hey baby, you look like you could use a friend”

He’d glanced at her, annoyed, “Get lost, I don’t pay for pussy”

“Who says ya gotta pay for anything…” she leaned over the bar so he could see down her shirt. “Y’see, I got a thing for a guy on a Harley”

Fuck, he was in trouble. He’d never been one to turn down some free pussy at least til he met Marie and this bitch was just his type. Big tits she kept pressin’ against his arm, young and not too bright. In the end he convinced himself it didn’t count as cheating if he didn’t fuck her in the pussy.

So he let his smaller head do the thinking and let her blow him in the bathroom, then fucked her from behind and in the morning he felt like shit for it. They’d rode back home and decided to forget all about it.

Opening the door to her apartment, Macon only had time to duck as the beer bottle came flying at his head.

“You unbelievable bastard!”

“What the fuck?!” he looked up and there was Marie. Five-foot-three and lookin’ ‘bout ready to rip his head off and he had to admit, he was intimidated.

“Babe? Why…?”

“Did you think I wouldn’t find out?! That you could just fuck that whore and act like nothing happened?!” she yelled.

Shit. He’d tried not to let it show.

“What are ya talkin’ about baby? Calm down…” he came toward her and she slugged him in the jaw. He didn’t know such a little thing like her could hit so hard.

“Don’t you fuckin’ dare lie to me, I will cut off your balls myself!” she hissed. He’d never seen her so mad and for once in his life he didn’t know what to say to get outta this.

“…whaddya want me to say?”

“I want the truth, Macon! Did you fuck her?” she crossed her arms, glaring at him and he knew he had no choice.

“…it didn’t mean anything…!”

He fully expected her to hit him again, or at least throw something else at him. He wasn’t ready for the tears, she covered her mouth shaking her head like she didn’t want it to be true.

He couldn’t stop talking, “I was drunk and…like I said it was just a one time thing…!”

“So was I, Macon. Or did you forget?” she sniffled, turning her back on him. “God, I was such an idiot to believe you meant it when you said you loved me…”

“I do love you, baby” he reached out to her.

“Then you would have thought of me before you did something so goddamn stupid…” she hiccupped.

She had him there. There was nothing more he could say, he sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“Did you at least use a condom?” she asked.

“Of course”

“Good, now get out”

He was gonna try to smooth things over one last time but Buck had wandered in the kitchen, no doubt cuz of their argument. He stood between them, growling at Macon and showin’ his teeth. He threw up his hands, “Alright…I’m goin’…I’ll call ya tomorrow”

She didn’t say anything to him, just buried her face in her hands and cried.

Macon had never felt so low. He didn’t mean to hurt Marie, hell he loved her! Sure, they had fights before but those always ended in rough make-up sex, he’d never made her cry before.

“You really fucked up this time, big bro” his sister, Siobhan, said handing him a beer. He glared at her as he knocked it back.

 “How the hell she even find out?”

“I told her” She said, taking a seat beside him at the kitchen table.

Macon choked on his beer, “What?!”

She shrugged, “Matt told me. Marie was worried about you, thought somethin’ was off so I told her”

“Dammit, Siobhan!” he hissed at her.

“I like her and I know what it’s like to have a man run around on ya” she glared.

Macon scrubbed a hand down his face, now what the hell was he supposed to do?

“Isn’t this better, though?” Siobhan began.

Macon glared at her and she threw up her hands, “Hear me out. Ever since Jolene up and left you seemed to enjoy being a lone wolf, doin’ what and whoever you want. Isn’t Marie tying you down? Isn’t that why you fucked somebody else?”

He loved Marie, maybe more then he’d loved Jolene and she’d loved him back. The way she’d call him when he was gone for days at a time. The way her eyes would light up when she saw him, her arms flying around his neck, her soft lips against his.

“…Macon I love you…”

“…whaddo I do?”

“Well, I suggest you head over to her place first thing tomorrow morning with the most expensive bouquet of roses you can afford and the world’s best apology” Siobhan said, sipping her own beer.

Macon decided to follow his sister’s advice though by time he got to Marie’s apartment, he still didn’t have a half-way decent apology.

He decided to knock instead of using his key, Buck started to bark but he didn’t hear any other movement. It was a Saturday, so she could still be asleep but usually Buck’s barking would have woken her. Macon slid his key into the lock, opening the door he found the apartment quiet and empty. Buck trotted up to him, whimpering, he only did that when he’d been home alone all day.

“Marie?”

His own voice seemed to echo back at him, adding to his growing dread. He was about to check her bedroom when he saw the note on the fridge.

“Hope she was worth it”

The words were like blows that hit him straight in the chest. Macon sat heavily at kitchen table letting out a breath.

Marie was gone.

She’d left him just like that. Part of him wanted to get angry and call her a bitch but he knew that this was all his fault. He knew how self-conscious she was, that she thought her tits and ass were too small, that she worried she wasn’t enough woman for him. And he’d gone and proven her worst fears by fuckin’ some girl whose name he didn’t even know. He was a piece a shit if he’d ever seen one, she was better off without him. What the hell was he supposed to do now?

Buck whimpered, resting his head on Macon’s knee, he looked up at him with sad eyes. Macon patted him, “Don’t worry, boy. I’ll get ‘er back”

When Marie rang the intercom for 601, 160th street, she was surprised anyone was at home.

“Hello?”

She’d know her uncle’s sleepy voice anywhere.

“It’s me, can I come in?”

A second later, the door buzzed open. She took the elevator up to the ninth floor, ringing the doorbell, it flew open almost immediately. He uncle threw his arms around her, “What are you doing here, sweetie? Your mom’s been worried sick…”

She sniffled a little, “I…need a place to stay for a while…can I stay here?”

“Of course you can” he said, taking her suitcase into the apartment and ushering her inside.

After Macon left that night, Marie had cried and screamed and broke things, basically scared the shit outta the dog. Once all that was through she knew she had to make a choice, either forgive Macon and pretend that nothing had happened or leave him for good. Both choices tore her up inside so she chose the one that would let her keep a scrap of her dignity.

She was gonna miss Buck, more then words could say, but she couldn’t stand to be around Macon.

“What happened to you? Your mom said you ran away or something?” her uncle asked as he made them a late breakfast.

Marie shrugged, “I wanted to try living on my own…”

“She also said you dropped out of school”

“I only transferred to City College…” Marie rolled her eyes.

“Then what happened? Why do you need a place to stay?”

Marie glared into her plate, “If I tell you…you can’t judge me or get mad at me, okay?”

Her uncle looked at her like he wasn’t sure if he agreed.

“I was kinda sorta… living with my boyfriend…”

“Marie!”

“He cheated on me so I left…! Look, I know I was stupid, okay but I just…I liked him so much and…God, I dunno…” she tried to blink back her tears.

“It’s okay, sweetie” he wrapped his arms around her and she sobbed into his shirt.

“…and I had to leave my baby…!” she sobbed. He pulled her back, “Baby?!”

“…Buck…our pitbull…” she sniffled. Her uncle let out a breath, “…okay…I thought you meant ‘baby’ baby”

“No…Macon had a vasectomy…”

“Vasectomy? Why would a young guy need a vasectomy?”

“…I don’t wanna talk about him anymore, he’s a dick” Marie wiped her nose on the sleeve of her hoodie.

“That’s right, sweetie, he is” her uncle said slipping an omelet and some turkey bacon onto her plate.

“Can you…not tell mom I’m here? She’ll drive down and yell at me if she knew…”

“You have to call her eventually. She’s worried about you…”

“I have called her. But she demands to know where I am so she can come get me. I’m not a little kid anymore…” she scoffed.

He sighed, “Fine, I won’t tell her where you are, but at least call her and tell her you’re okay”

“Okay” she muttered.

Two weeks.

Two fucking weeks and Macon hadn’t seen hide nor hair of Marie. It was spring break so he couldn’t find her at school and her job said she was taking time off. He went back to her old college, checked out her old town.

No one had seen her and she kept ignoring his calls.

“Y’need to let her go, dad” Luke said as he, Macon and Matt drank themselves silly in Siobhan’s bar.

“…bout damn time…” Matt snorted into his beer.

“Shut the fuck up, ya little shit…!” Macon slurred.

“Luke’s right, Mack, this is bordering on harassment…” Siobhan began.

“…didn’t even get t’ plead my case wit’ ‘er…why’d she haveta leave like that?”

“Cuz you made her feel like you didn’t want her” Siobhan chimed in.

“Thanks…” Macon growled, “Gaaaah…! I fucked up…”

“No shit” Siobhan shook her head, “You made your bed now ya gotta lie in it”

The next day, Macon was nursing one hell of a hangover. He had some business to take care of in Washington Heights and he was more then please to learn that the business involved using his fists. The whole situation with Marie pissed him off to no end and he was more then eager to spread the hurt.

He sauntered out of the bodega with sore knuckles and a bottle of aspirin, slipping on his shades against the sun. At first he thought it was a trick of the light, or he missed her so much that he was seeing her everywhere. But there she was, coming out of a grocery store across the street, he was to her so fast he had no idea how it happened.

Macon grabbed her arm and she whirled around to face him. It had only been two weeks but when he finally saw her face, it felt like an eternity. His legs almost gave out with relief, “I’ve been lookin’ for ya, Marie…”

She glared, tugging out of his grip, “Good for you, what do you want?”

Her coldness stung but he knew he deserved it, “I wanted to see ya, baby. I missed you”

“I’m not your baby anymore Macon” she sighed walking away from him.

“C’mon, babe I said I was sorry” he began, getting in front of her.

“Even if I believed you, it doesn’t matter how sorry you are, I can’t trust you ever again”

Her words cut him deep but he couldn’t give up, “…I wasn’t lying when I said I loved you. Look me in the eye and say you don’t love me, too”

Marie’s bottom lip wobbled and she looked away but all Macon could think about was how badly he wanted to kiss those pretty pink lips. How he missed the way she used to bite them when she was thinking too hard, when he made her come.

“I want ya back, babe. I know I fucked up, I was an asshole…”

“Is there a problem?”

Some black guy pushed his way between them and Macon felt his temper flare. “Who the fuck are you?”

“I could ask you the same question” he said.

“We’re having a private conversation…” Macon growled.

“What ‘private conversation’ could a man your age be having with my niece?”

Macon faltered, not sure what to say.

“He’s no one, got me confused with someone else. Let’s go” Marie said, tugging her uncle away without a backwards glance.

“Long time no see”

Marie looked up from her book to see Matt standing over her. She glared at him briefly before returning to her book.

“What are you doing here, Matt?”

“I wanted to talk to ya so I looked you up. You come to this café every Saturday” he grinned sitting down at her table.

“Sounds like you’ve been stalking me”

He threw up his hands, “I just wanna talk to ya about dad”

A lump stuck in Marie’s throat but she swallowed it down, “There’s nothing to talk about. He cheated on me so I left him. That’s it, end of story”

 “Alright then, I’ll talk, you listen. Dad’s been in a bad way since you left him” Matt began. The lump came back but she swallowed it down again, “Has he?”

“Yeah, he hasn’t been the same. Won’t hang out no more, doesn’t even smile…”

“Why are you telling me this? Isn’t this what you wanted? Me gone?” she snapped.

Matt nodded, “I did but dad hasn’t got you outta his system yet. Tried to help it along, brought some girls over to make him feel better but he just glared and walked away”

Marie looked up at him, “What?”

“He hasn’t gotten any since you left. All he does for fun anymore is sit around and drink but then he does stupid shit” Matt scoffed.

“…like what?”

Matt looked her in the eye, “Like get your name tattooed on his damn neck”

Marie bit her lip to keep from crying, goddamn him. She’d been trying, she’d been trying so damn hard to forget him. She’d gotten her crying down from every night to two nights a week. She still loved him, she knew she did and she hated herself for it.

It would’ve been easier if he’d just let her go, just moved on without her and did whatever he wanted with whoever he wanted. But if he loved her, really loved her, it gave her hope again and that was dangerous.

“You know I hate your fucking guts right?” Matt said.

“Yes” she glared.

“Meaning I’d only come see you if I didn’t think there was another choice. Go see my dad, maybe if you fuck ‘im one last time he’ll snap outta this”

“Go fuck yourself, Matthew” she hissed.

He nodded, “Ya got me there, I shouldna said that. But seriously, go talk to dad”

Marie was quiet for a moment, “I’ll think about it…”

Matt shrugged, getting up from the table, “Guess that’s all I can ask”

That was it.

It was all over.

She was never coming back to him, he fucked up and this time it was for good. At that point, Macon gave up. Sure, he went through the motions, took care of business, handed down orders and took care of Buck but other then that he didn’t talk to anyone and every night he drank away his sorrows.

Tonight was no different, he sat in his chair in the clubhouse, working on his eighth beer. He knew he should take it easy, especially since he’d woken up from a bender with Marie’s name tattooed on the side of his neck. He didn’t really mind it, liked it even, if he was never gonna see her again he at least wanted something to remember her by. To know what they had really happened and wasn’t just some sweet dream he’d woken up from.

The front door creaked open and slammed shut, Macon growled in annoyance. He wanted to be alone with his beer and his memories.

He was more then surprised when Marie strode up to him standing in front of his chair. He took her in in one slow look. Her dark hair was braided, her caramel skin delicious and her pink lips looked just as kissable as ever. She was wearing a cute sundress and sweater and, honestly, was looking way too good to him. He had to look away.

“What’re ya doin’ here?”

She shrugged, “I wanted to see you”

“Wanted t’ see how miserable I was?” he snorted.

“A little bit…”

He chuckled a bit, throwing out his arms, “Well here I am in all my ruin. Better get outta here quick before my misery rubs off on ya”

But she didn’t leave. Instead she came closer, so close it hurt and still she didn’t stop. She climbed into his lap but he didn’t move, he knew if he did he wouldn’t be able to stop himself. She touched him gently, tilting his head so she could see the tattoo, so she could see her name carved into his flesh.

Then suddenly her soft lips were on him, kissing his neck and he shuddered. She kissed the name on his neck, his furry cheek and finally his eager lips. He couldn’t stop himself, he pulled her roughly against him, deepening the kiss. His tongue ravaged her mouth, tangling with hers, savoring the taste of her. She whimpered, kissing him back, her fingers dragging through his hair.

He stood, lifting her up to wrap her legs around his waist as he walked her over to the meeting  table, setting her down on the edge. It was only then that he finally took a breath, leaning his forehead against hers and he panted and shuddered. He was so hard it was starting to hurt, he’d never wanted anyone so bad.

“…tell me to stop…” he breathed, “…Tell me to stop while I still can…”

“…I don’t want you to stop…” she sighed, wrapping her legs around his hips. She looked him in the eyes, lifting her skirt to press her heat against the insistent bulge in his pants. He groaned, trying to keep his head, but she was kissing him again, biting his neck.

“…please, Macon. Fuck me like you used to”

He didn’t need much coaxing, his hands were up under her dress, ripping down her panties. She moaned a little as he cupped her crotch, he’d barely touched her and she was dripping wet for him. Marie’s hands were on him, undoing his jeans, pulling his erection out of his pants. He could feel her heat on the tip of him, he thrust forward and he was inside her.

She threw back her head in a breathy moan. He snarled like a beast, pounding into her as hard as he could. The table shook so hard he was sure it would give out but he was too far gone to care. Nothing else mattered but them in the that moment, they were together and she was moaning just for him.

Marie moaned his named into his ear and he came so hard it stunned him for a minute, he’d never been that fast before.

“Done already?”

Macon came back to reality to the sight of her lying back across the table, her legs clenched around his hips. He groaned feeling his hard-on twitch inside her, he grasped her hips in both hands, starting back into his rough pace. Marie’s eyes slid shut and she arched her back with a whimper, Macon leaned over her, kissing her desperately.

She ran her fingers through his hair, sighing as he moved to her neck.

“…Macon…Macon don’t stop…!”

After they were finally sated, Macon sat on the floor against the leg of the table, smoking a cigarette. Marie was in the bathroom, cleaning herself up which made sense, he hadn’t used a condom and he’d come inside her five times.

When she came out he saw she’d taken down her hair, she fluffed it out and he felt the urge to fuck her again.

“So that’s it, huh?” he said. “We get off together one last time and ya go back to your perfect life without me?”

“I love you” she sighed. He looked up at her, her hands were on her hips and she had this exasperated look on her face. “I love you and you hurt me…really bad”

“…I know…” he lowered his head, rubbing the name on his neck.

“But I still love you and if you’re this miserable without me then…I’m willing to give us another chance”

Macon looked up at like he could hardly believe it to be true. She tugged him to his feet, wrapping her arms around his neck. She kissed him delicately, gazing into his eyes just like she used to. Macon wrapped her in his arms, burying his face in her neck, smelling her sweet smell, getting lost in it.

“It’s late and you look like crap. Let’s go home, M” Marie sighed.

He pulled back to look at her, “What will your uncle say?”

She shrugged, “He’ll be mad but I’ll be happy, so I guess that’s all that matters”

“You will. I promise, baby, I’ll never hurt you again”