Bro Druid: Crazy Slide

It had been over a year since Big Kahuna Keone announced the construction of the new mega water slide. It started on the closest mountain peak and ran partially over the top of the Cove of Summer Breeze down to the water. All kinds of crazy rumors spread about the speed at which one rocketed down the slide by the force of the water flowing through it. Crates of water pearls had to be infused into the slide’s construction to ensure no shortage of liquid flowing down the ride. Since Bodhi was a lifeguard, he had the opportunity to test-ride the slide before it was open to the public.

 

“Alright, dude. Flat on your back, arms folded across your chest, and try to keep your mouth shut so you don’t bite your tongue,” a male sea otter wearing only purple swim trunks greeted Bodhi with a fist bump. Finn, one of the ride lifeguards, was chosen as the primary caretaker of this new attraction. “You want kiddy mode, or should I crank it up?”

 

“Come on, bro, crank that thing up to eleven,” Bodhi laughed as he got ready to go down the slide. Finn slapped some water pearls, causing the gentle liquid flowing down the slide to become a torrent. The two sea otters exchanged a hang loose sign before Bodhi disappeared into the covered ride.

 

The experienced lifeguard was no stranger to thrill rides or thrill-seeking, so he was ready to rocket down the slide. Initially, the slide started dark, but after a few seconds, rock music started playing, and a light show lit up on all sides of him. Resisting the urge to sing along with the song was difficult, but Bodhi remembered that he didn’t want to bite his tongue off as the slide hit a steep decline. Speeds on the sea otter increased as a large spiral sent the Lutrinae accelerated in a downward circle. 

 

A brief uncovered portion of the slide showed Bodhi that he was at the halfway point as the song changed. He hit a nearly vertical drop, and the sea otter felt like he was skydiving for a moment before being immediately launched into another spiral. That led to another spiral that turned in the opposite direction. Bodhi hit a ramp and flew over a gap in the ride, landing back on the slide. After nearly a full soundtrack and accompanying light show worth of twists, turns, spirals, and jumps, the lifeguard shot out the bottom of the slide.

 

“Wait, bros, that’s not right,” Bodhi declared, confused as he looked back up at the attraction while swimming back to shore. There were none of the twists, turns, or anything he experienced. It looked like a regular straight slide from the peak to the water. The beaver lifeguard stationed at the bottom of the slide waved him over.

 

“Did they not tell you about the slide’s special property, bro?” she asked as Bodhi approached. The sea otter’s only answer was a further look of confusion. “Bro, dude, guy, check this out. The slide uses some high-level magical elements to give each rider a different experience depending on what level it’s set on, bro. So its a little different each time its ridden.”

 

“Bro! That’s wicked,” Bodhi excitedly shouted. “I’m going again and then you and me are getting sushi!”