Bro Druid: Under the Sea Otter

Waiting for his turn to take his recertification test was killing Bodhi. He had lives to save and waves to surf, and the sea otter lifeguard didn’t have time to take tests. Nothing was in his purple board shorts or black aloha shirt to entertain Bodhi while he waited. The druids running the course had confiscated the otter’s green hip bag medkit that also had his surf magazines in it. Giving up pacing, Bodhi finally flopped down into one of the bamboo chairs in the waiting room. He picked up one of the books from a nearby table and flipped it open. A brilliant rainbow of light erupted from the pages as the lifeguard felt his body twist and turn like he was going through a portal.

 

When the light cleared, Bodhi found himself floating on the water in an unfamiliar ocean. There was land not too far off in the distance with a castle, but it didn’t match any landmarks he knew. Suddenly, someone started singing nearby, drawing the otter’s attention. He swam to a nearby rock to find a naked blonde mermaid talking to sea animals that didn’t seem to be able to respond, or at least not in a way Bodhi could understand.

 

“Excuse me, mermaid bro but can you tell me where I am,” the otter lifeguard asked, climbing onto the rock. As he did so, all the other sea creatures scattered.

 

“Well hello there mister otter,” the mermaid greeted Bodhi with a musical smile. “You’re in the land of Tirulia. Over there is the castle belonging to the prince. One day, I’m going to find a way to walk on land and marry him.”

 

“Hold up there a moment, bro,” the blue-striped sea otter cut in, raising his hands and bidding her to stop. “Before you change your whole life for some dude, do you know if he likes you?”

 

“I did save him from a shipwreck and he smiled at me,” the blonde fish woman answered as she seemed to get lost in her daydream again.

 

“You stay here and I’ll got talk to the prince for you and if he likes you I’ll come back so you can go through with whatever crazy plan you want bro,” Bodhi told her before leaping back into the water. 

 

Swimming as fast as he could, the sea otter headed towards the castle. Once there, he leaped up on the beach to find a tanned, handsome, brown-haired man. Willing to bet this was the prince that the mermaid was all lovey eyes over. Bodhi slowly approached the man, trying not to startle him. It didn’t work, and the prince leaped to his feet, startled.

 

“What’s this? A blue-striped otter the size of a man wearing strange clothes.” the man asked in shock at the sight before him. He had never met a Druid of the Summer Breeze before. “Where are my guards? I must capture and study this specimen.”

 

“Whoa, bro. No one’s doing any capturing today,” Bodhi said calmly, trying to soothe the situation a little. “I just need to know if you are into blonde ladies with fish tails.”

 

“You can talk,” the prince exclaimed, his voice a mix of confusion and intrigue. “Tell me all the secrets of the sea, otter man.”

 

“The name is Bodhi, bro,” the lifeguard shook his head, a little annoyed. Why had the book taken him to a place with humans who had never met a talking animal before? “Look bro, I’ll answer your questions if you answer mine. Mermaids? Smash or pass?”

 

“Mermaids aren’t real, my talking Lutrinae friend, and if they were, I’d have them hunted down for luring ships to their doom,” the brown-haired man declared, finally answering the question. He stood and motioned for the otter to follow him. “Come, Bodhi, we have much to discuss.”

 

The mermaid waited at the sea rock the next day when Bodhi swam up. Still wearing the same clothes as the day before, the otter climbed out of the water. She was so pretty, but he had a job to do, and unfortunately, this time it was breaking a heart. With a deep breath, Bodhi centered himself to deliver the news.

 

“I’m sorry, bro, but your prince isn’t interested in you,” the lifeguard apologized, trying to look sincere. “His interests lay elsewhere.”

 

“What do you mean his interest lay elsewhere and why did it take you so long to come back,” the blonde mermaid demanded, looking hurt.

 

“He poked me, so I prodded him. Then one thing led to another, and it turns out he’s into otters.” Bodhi smiled nervously as the mermaid started to cry. There was a flash of light, and suddenly, the otter was back in the waiting room. He looked down at the book in his hands, which now bore his likeness on the pages. “Huh,I guess reading is good for you.”