Things Never Spoken: Nature of the Hollow

Chapter 11

    Rukia's mouth fell open as she turned from the dancing fireworks to look at him, "…What was that?" she asked, knowing she must have heard wrong.

    "I want…" he started, his voice uncharacteristically soft, "to kiss you… Rukia." Every nerve in his entire body was taut like a bowstring. Had he really just asked her that? She was watching him; staring back at him with wide, unfathomable eyes. He swallowed, as the heart-wrenching moment seemed to stretch on like an endless winter. Finally, when she could not respond to the arcane truth in his words, he closed the distance between them and claimed her defenseless lips with his own.

    Renji could feel himself shaking with a mixture of adrenalin and fear, but all he could think of was the uplifting warmth flooding out from her. The booming echo of the fireworks was lost on him as he basked in the smooth, tender crease of her lips. Her heat, her flavor, everything he'd ever longed for pressed against his mouth; it was overwhelming him, but he didn't care. He couldn't bring himself to care about anything except keeping her there for him to keep breathing in.

    It was like a fantasy he never wanted to wake from, however, a firm hand pushing against his chest rapidly pulled him back into the darkness of reality. He watched her face as he sat back, exhaling through his lips as his insides grew cold and rotten with dread.

    She removed her hand and turned back toward the brightly light water, her face eerie and unreadable to him. His brow creased as he turned as well, pathetically trying to keep himself from trembling. Mahogany eyes hid themselves from her as he laid his chin across his arm, facing away from the unnaturally calm woman at his side. He was afraid to even look at her, much less speak… The irony of his bravery in battle was his cowardice of being rejected by this scrawny, little girl who had so callously stolen his heart. He'd easily prefer to fight an army of hallows than to be here, facing the terror of this moment.

    "We should go. It's getting late." she whispered, sounding a bit detached.

    He felt wounded, "That's it? Can't you at least…" his words trailed off and he sighed. "Never mind…" he finally said as he stood soberly.

    "What the hell?" she finally burst out, "Just- Just what? What am I supposed to think of that? You're my best friend!"

    He cringed as he faced the irate girl as she flailed before him in a flurry of unbridled emotion, "I know!" he screamed back, equally frustrated at the situation. A moment of silence passed before he spoke again, calmer this time, "I ain't askin' you for nothing', Rukia... and I never will."

    She stared up at his crumpled face with a quivering bottom lip. She was trying to grasp him. She was trying to hold onto him so that she could again see the man she'd known practically her whole life, but she couldn't. This was someone else standing before her, and it bothered her to think that she couldn't understand him right now; him, who she had always understood perfectly. "Idiot! Just a kiss? You can't just…. You can't do that, Renji!" 'You can't kiss me like that and then say you're not asking for something! A kiss in itself is a request. It's a statement you make to tell someone that you want them. By making the statement known you are asking for acceptance, asking to be tied, asking to be loved. And you knew you were asking me that… Me! What in the seven hells are you thinking?'

    The red head was still, "Sorry. I didn't… mean anything by it," he lied, "I guess it just felt like a date…" He was in hopes that he could play it down as a casual thing, even though it felt like his insides were ripping from the mere thought.

    Rukia exhaled sharply at him before she turned and started to walk, "For the record, you're a pig." She hurriedly walked ahead of him, not really caring if he was following or not in that moment. She didn't really know what to make of him right now, but he was a sleaze if he thought it was okay to kiss her like that because 'it just felt like a date.' Renji fell behind as she hastily made her way through the fair grounds until she had finally lost sight of him. "Good riddance." She said angrily over her shoulder.

    After a time, however she stopped and her shoulders began to droop a bit. Maybe she was over-reacting. It was just a little kiss… 'With my best friend,' she added mentally. 'Renji has been through an awful lot, maybe he's just lonely. At least I had Ichigo there… Aside from me… Renji doesn't have anyone…' She suddenly felt rather guilty as she mulled over just how he must feel. It was only a few days ago he was practically bawling his eyes out on her shoulder. She frowned as she recalled, placing a palm on her cheek as she looked back over her shoulder. Maybe this was more her being afraid and unsure rather than Renji being out of line. Her anger dissipated and now with a clear head, she turned around and began to go back for him.

    Renji had followed after her at first, but as her rapid pace took her further and further ahead he finally stopped and let her disappear from his sights. Slouching against the side of a wooden booth, his mind was a blur. His worst fears had been realized, and he could only blame himself for making the wrong choice. "Idiot." He muttered, "Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!" He growled out as he grabbed his head in frustrated anger, gripping his hair harshly while he seemed to curl in on himself.

    A sudden pulse flared through his body like a jolt of lightning and his eyes shot open wide as saucers as the horrifyingly familiar feeling settled in his chest. Then a new and unfamiliar pain gripped his torso with such heavy pressure he couldn't find his breath. Trembling, his hands flew to grasp his throbbing chest, while he hung his head and desperately gasped for breath.

    People stopped as they saw the obviously distressed man. A woman approached him in concern asking if he was okay, but upon closer inspection, she hurriedly got out her cell phone and called for help.

    Renji could barely hear anything save the roaring in his ears. This wasn't right. Something was very wrong. It had never hurt so horribly like this before… the pressure. He felt like he was going to rip open like a bloated corpse. He gagged as he sank to his knees, grabbing for the side of the building as he went down.

    Rukia was looking around for her companion, but couldn't seem to locate him in the mass of people. However she abruptly felt the turbulent flare of his reiatsu and jumped in alarm. She immediately began to run toward it, seeing the red flames blazing frantically around his body as she located him. "Renji!" she cried out in panic.

    His eyes darted to her concerned face and he cringed, feeling the swell of the hallow consuming him like a rampant virus. "Ru…ki…a" he whispered haggardly, "Run."

    The petite girl stared at him, her visage clearly displaying the mixture of fear and utter helplessness she was feeling.

    Blood spurted from his throat and splashed down his chin, "Run, Rukia," he said, louder this time. "Run away!" his screaming voice cracked just before a generous crimson fountain erupted from him as if every fiber inside of him had just been severed. The small girl yelped as she reluctantly did as she was told and ran as fast as she could away from the fair grounds, knowing she had to at least lead him away from the people. Red painted the ground and wall around him as the hollow forced its way out of the restraining gigai with a heart-piercing cry.

    The lifeless body fell limply as the hollow sneered and stepped forward as the mass of people crowded around the discarded gigai. The hallow mask formed gradually as his blackened eyes darted to where Rukia had been standing a moment ago. He walked carelessly past the throng of meager bodies and followed the fresh scent that permeated the air like a trail of candy. She was in his presence at long last, and there would be absolutely no escape. As the sound of sirens wailed in the far distance, he leisurely strolled away in pursuit of his milk and honey.

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    Rukia panted softly as she cursed the sluggish gigai while nervously glancing over her shoulder. She didn't see him, but she also didn't hear or see any… disturbances that might be expected in his wake. Wherever he was, he wasn't hurting people- she could at least be thankful for that much. She panted as she turned back to the front, suddenly yelping as she collided with an iron grip harshly shoving her out of her gigai. The frightful, large hands held fast to her neck as she was forced backwards and her gigai toppled down with a thud. She looked up in alarm, helplessly pulling against the rigid grip at her throat, while her eyes brimmed with tears when she saw the mask that peered back at her.

    She couldn't breathe through the malicious hand at her neck, and audibly choked as she felt her feet rise off the ground, bringing her level with the grisly black eyes of her captor. She felt her back connect with the jagged bark of a tree as his heated body crushed her against it.

    He laughed a short, smug laugh as he opened his palm, allowing her to be supported by his angled waist. She immediately gasped and attempted to struggle, "Renji-" She began, but was hushed as he clamped his hand over her mouth.

    "Hush," he growled, drawing her eyes to his exposed mouth. He leaned in close until she could feel the puff of his breath on her face, "Don't worry. I assure you I won't kill you that quickly. Not before I've had my fun… Rukia."

    Her eyes darted to his ominous yellow and black eyes as he spoke her name. 'He knows me… he… followed me knowingly. Maybe if I can just talk to him he'll come to,' she thought, trying not to panic.

    While one hand held securely to hers' the other released her mouth, moving slowly as the back of his fingers caressed her soft cheek. "You don't know how long I've waited for this." he whispered close to her lips.

    She shuddered; a sudden dread hit her as she recalled the Renji of a short time earlier kissing her. 'Surely the hallow doesn't… want that…' She reassured herself, 'he raped Matsumoto.' a voice whispered in the back of her mind. "R-Renji please," she swallowed, "It's me."

    He smiled, "Yes. That's why this will be so awesome… My Rukia…" His tongue flicked out and teased along the line of her lips, but she quickly jerked her head to the side, squirming against him with her free hand and attempting to use the tree as leverage against him.

    He crushed her violently and allowed a giant red blaze of reiatsu to blast around him. "Don't think you can sway me with strength alone," he snarled, seeming to enjoy asserting himself over her.

    She cried out as she managed to reach her sword and yank it from its sheath. The blade swung, not quite with the intent to kill; however, it was a futile attempt regardless of intent. His forearm stood in the blade's path, the metal bent against his raw skin. Rukia stared in shocked disbelief.

    "I'm hurt, Rukia." he said disdainfully, "After all the time we've had together, you can point your blade at me with such cruelty." He grabbed the flimsy blade and yanked it from her hand, turning his head toward it as he abolished the offending sword in a red cero flare. Sode no Shirayuki crumbled away like ash as his hand opened up, empty in the cool night air.

    She screamed in despair and helplessness.

    "But I can be cruel too… just like you." he said as the milky-white mask turned back toward her.

    She leaned away from his face until her cheek was flush with the arm still restraining her against the tree, feeling her emotions swell inside her. What could she do now, but hope Renji could overcome.

    "Aw. I'm sorry, did I upset you?" he mocked, "Maybe you'd be happier if you could see my face; your best friend's face. Would that comfort you?" he asked and smiled ever so slightly as she looked at him almost hopefully. He pushed the hallow mask up, settling it to the side a bit as Rukia watched.

    "It doesn't really matter, you know," he said, "He couldn't stop me, even if he wanted to."

    Rukia snapped at this, "What do you mean 'if he wanted to?' Renji would never-"

    "Of course he wouldn't!" He barked, "He's a coward! But then that's why he created me, isn't it?" His lips widened in an arrogant smile, "To do what he never had the gall to do… fuck you." he spoke as his nose brushed her cheek, almost affectionately. "He can't stop me, because this is what he wants, Rukia."

    The distressed girl screamed at him, "LIAR! Renji is- He's a good person! He's a good person and you're the horrible one who’s corrupting him!"

    "You made it possible, Love." His harsh voice pierced her ears like needles as he yanked her by the hair until her neck arced back and she cried out in pain. "Allow me to thank you for that." he said as he latched onto her neck like a vampire while her tiny hands futilely struggled against him.

    "Stop it!" she shouted as he parted her top and swiftly moved to grab one of her petite breast with a calloused palm. She whimpered at his bruising touch while blood trickled from her neck where he had brutally bitten through her tender skin. "Renji, please," she begged as she shivered terribly against him.

    This only served to entice the hollow more, however; her soft pleading voice, the delicate trembling of her warm body, and the thick scent of her fear humid in the air. He jolted her against the rough tree again as he forced her arm out of her kimono sleeve and lifted her so that he could encircle her perky breast with a hungry mouth. She cried out as she felt his sharp teeth sink into her flesh and begin to suck greedily.

    She felt feeble and lost, hoping desperately for a savior, but expecting none, " Ichigo… help…" She found herself calling for the dependable rescuer, but to no avail as the night remained silent except for the distant booming of the fireworks' finale.

    She felt herself slip painfully down the bark and wedge up against his hips, as he whispered against her cheek, "No one can hear you. No one will come." He purred as he bit down on the shell of her ear while her clothes fell away at the will of his hands.

    "Renji," she whispered sadly as tears stung her eyes, "save me."

    The bruising touches of the crazed man ceased for a moment as her breathy words rang in his ears. "Hush!" he growled in a low, dangerous voice as he stiffened.

    She could feel the sudden tension in him, his firm abs clenching against her most sensitive area. She felt hope swell in her gut, "Save me, Renji." she repeated, allowing her hands to wrap around his shoulders.

    He shuddered, "I said enough!" he yelled as he threw an angry fist into the tree above her head and loomed over her threateningly, his eyes burning intensely. The large tree shifted and swayed as splinters fanned out from the impact. "I will not be ruled by a spineless cur! I am the king!" he snarled, obviously growing irate.

    She didn't know if she was helping or hurting her situation, but she saw a shimmer of hope in the formerly spiteful eyes that peered down at her. "I believe in you."

    "Enough!" he screamed loudly as he suddenly grabbed her neck and violently threw her as if he was throwing a rag doll. "Silence! I'll not hear it! I am in control!" he raged as he let his fist decimate the tree in a single blow, sending splinters flying in a furious barrage. She yelped and curled into a ball as the towering tree came toppling down in pieces around her. The thundering noise shook the ground and her heart as she felt herself pelted with branches. When the wreck ceased the only thing she could hear was his screaming. The hollow writhed in fury and anguish, its wails carrying through the night like the cry of a pair of brawling wolves.

    Rukia sat up from the mess of debris around her, unknown pain shooting through her at the movement. She tried to stand, but her legs collapsed under her and she fell, only able to crawl from the vengeful branches as they attacked her naked, alabaster skin. When the hollow's infuriated screams died into mournful, tortured cries, she heard a shatter and the thud as he hit his knees.

    He breathed haggardly, remaining still and dazed momentarily before he looked up in search of her. She was splayed on her front halfway concealed by branches as she stared back at him. Her eyes were wide and her breath was short and fast.

    A moment of silence passed between them before finally his brow creased and he tore his eyes away. He could feel his lip quiver, "I'm sorry," he muttered, his words so horribly inadequate for how consuming his feelings were. "I'm sorry, Rukia" he repeated, "I'm…"

    "Renji," she called sadly.

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    Wrapped in his kimono, her abused body shivered as he carried her down the desolate street. Her ankle was bloody and swollen, wrapped in a strip of fabric they had made due with. Neither of them had spoken much. Renji's conscience was swimming with unbridled guilt while Rukia was tangled in a mixture of shock and melancholy. She glanced up to his face periodically, gauging him, trying to understand, and trying to forget that same face filled with contempt and scorn, with eyes that burned holes through her like hot coals.

 The hollow had been so in-tuned with her, obsessed with her… It frightened her, yes, but what frightened her now was the thought that Renji's damaged soul was born from her. She had always taken from him. Anything he had been willing to give she had taken, and until now she had never really been bothered by that. She didn't deny she was selfish, but they worked out so well because Renji had always been willing to give her what she wanted, even as children. She'd never really stopped to consider what he might want…or why he had always been so willing to bend over backwards for her.

    The hollow's venomous words still singed her ears. It had been so bent on her, so resolutely set on her, it hadn't even attacked any of the people at the festival. She knew hollow behavior. Ever since her days at the academy, hollow psychology had been drilled into her head. It had always been easy to apply and make decisions accordingly. Hollows were base, simple, self-serving creatures, and they wanted the ones they loved above all else. All the simple lessons she knew and had applied in the field countless times before… were increasingly hard for her to apply here. Not because the situation was atypical or unconventional, but because if she applied her knowledge to this situation, it would mean Renji loved her much more than she had ever imagined.