Things Never Spoken: The Will to Carry on

Chapter 2

    As Renji hung from his malicious chains while the faceless men stood back and watched, he was ripped from his fog as his body suddenly began to ache with a searing internal heat. His eyes grew wide and his muscles began to tremble violently, straining his weeping injuries. He let forth a strangled gasp as the pain grew impossibly worse, and he suddenly couldn’t find his breath against the thundering pulses.

    The men who had given him the injection stood at a safe distance and watched through cold, calculating eyes; eyes that were as degrading as they were unsympathetic. Horrific screams echoed through the chamber as the men carefully studied the suffering subject before them.

    Ultimately the hapless shinigami felt his over-worked nerves turn to ash under his skin, and suddenly blood began to rush from his mouth and nose as if someone had turned on a faucet. As his body shuddered and went limp, the shackles on his wrists held on to him with their sharp frozen hands. He sagged as his unseeing eyes stared down at the rippling pool before him, and suddenly there was nothing.
    
    “Ridiculous. I was so sure it would work on him.” Came a voice from the shadows.

    “What happened? It didn’t work?” came another.

    “No. His body rejected it. How pathetic. Get rid of him then. Throw him somewhere the shinigami won’t find his corpse. The last thing we need is more of them snooping around here.”  the first answered sounding fairly annoyed.   

    “Yes sir”

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    “Rukia.”

    Heavy lids slid open to the familiar deep voice of her adopted brother. Her azure pools looked up to see the usually indifferent man sitting on the edge of her futon with a slight crease in his brow. She seemed puzzled as to what he was doing there.

    “Sit up.” he said calmly.

    Rukia did as he said, uncovering the picture frame that had somehow gotten buried under her blanket as she’d slept. She softly rubbed her eyes and as she opened them again she found Byakuya holding the frame and regarding it wistfully.
    
    “Eat.” he said as he placed the frame out of sight and positioned a tray of food in her lap.

    “Nii-sama.” she said somewhat surprised. She looked down at the food for a moment before a small frown found her face. “I’m really not-”

    “Don’t give me that. You haven’t eaten in 2 days. Eat.” He said dominantly,

     She cringed as he scolded her, and then reluctantly picked up a piece of the meal he’d brought and put it to her mouth, though she found it difficult to eat.
    
    Byakuya watched her for a moment before his dark eyes turned away, “It’s not the end of the world, Rukia.” He finally said, “I know it’s hard, but you’re only tormenting yourself by staying locked up in here with nothing but this picture. I think it’s best if you put this away where you can’t look at it anymore.” he said calmly as he stood with the picture in hand.

    “But-” she began.
    
    “I know, Rukia!” he cut her off. “I know… but you can’t move on like this. You’ve lost weight and you aren’t taking care of yourself.” He turned from her and began to leave, but paused at the doorway, “Eat your meal, then get dressed and go to Ukitake’s office. You’re going back on light duty… I’m going to hold onto this for now.” he added as he held the picture frame securely in his hand.

    Rukia frowned as her brother’s form disappeared from her doorway and she turned back to look at the food tray. He was right. She had to try and move on… even if that meant she had to forget…
    
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    His eyes cracked open to the blinding sunlight that beamed down through the vegetation around him. His first thought was ‘Am I alive?’ but a resurge of crippling pain answered that question right away. He turned his head and saw a plant-covered cliff-side that extended up several meters. Turning the other way he saw a twin cliff on that side of him, and in the middle he found himself in mind-numbing pain, and severely dehydrated, but alive somehow.

    He’d been dropped down the cliff, he’d gathered, by the deep imprint in the thankfully muddy ground. Small leafy vegetation sprang up around him from the soft nourishing ground as he tried to roll over with a strained whimper. The plants were wet with dew and as he lay there incapacitated, he suddenly found himself licking the miniscule droplets off of the greenery like a man possessed. The amount of moisture he sucked from the plants was  barely enough to sate a rat, much less a man Renji’s size. After a time of laying there wondering if he was dying or not, he somehow got to his feet. His legs trembled violently under his weight, and he panted lightly as the pain tore through his muscles with a vengeance, but he managed to stay upright long enough to take a step. Then another. And another. He began to walk slowly. The soft earth sucked his shoes in, making walking even more difficult than it already was, but after some minutes the ground evened out and became suitably firm. He didn’t know where he was, or where he was going, but he was alive… and oddly enough he saw her smiling face in his deranged mind.

    “Rukia…”
    
    He must have walked for a good hour before his senses began to pick up a glorious sound. The sound of water flowing. He stumbled as he tried to walk faster, but did not fall. It was moments before he laid eyes on the shallow river and he fell to his knees as he reached the sloped embankment. Crawling on his broken arm earned him a quick reminder of it’s current status, which he quickly adjusted for. Rocks protruded, jagged and irregular against his torn shoes, and he felt one slip off as he crawled his way to the water’s edge. Finally reaching it, he all but dunking his head in. He drank. The cold water was like a blessing against his parched throat, and he continued to drink until he felt a wave of nausea roll across his stomach.

    As he sat back from the water and attempted to stand again, he felt his body rebelling in more ways than one. His legs grew shaky and he stumbled into the slowly moving water. Underwater the rocks were merciless and uneven and he finally lost his footing altogether as he fell on a sandy isle that barely surfaced in the middle of the river. As he landed halfway on the tiny island, his nausea surged full force and he felt all the water he’d drank erupt out of him like a geyser. He lay there now, with his cheek pressed in the sand staring at the blood-laced water that slowly drained into the river. He felt his strength leaving him, along with his resolve as he coughed up more red blood onto the golden sand.

    ‘Maybe this isn’t such a bad place to die…’  he thought as he lay watching the gently moving water in front of his eyes. ‘Fuck… I’m sorry… Rukia…’

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    As children played by the water’s edge they were blissfully unaware of anything outside of their merry games. But as they ran further downstream the eldest boy grew startled as he saw the lifeless body half submerged in the middle of the water. “A body!” he shouted and all the other children jumped in alarm.

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    “Excuse me, Taichou.”

    Standing in the well kept yard Byakuya looked up from his zanbakutou, somewhat annoyed at the intrusion, but tolerant. He sheathed his sword and turned to face the deeply bowing shinigami who’d been his assistant since his vice-captain’s death.

    “Sir. We believe they’ve found Abarai-fuku-taichou’s body.” he said, never taking his head up from its’ bow. “They’re sending a team out as we speak.”

    The captain absorbed for a moment before he nodded, “Very well.. Thank you for informing me.”

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    “This way! It’s over there” came the child’s troubled voice as he pointed from the safety of the bank.
    
    The team of shinigami arrived at the water’s edge near Renji’s abused body and Matsumoto was the first to recognize the familiar man. She frowned deeply, seeing the blood-stained figure and had to turn away in her upset. “It’s him.” she said as she turned away and took a moment to cover the distressed expression on her face.    
    
    As the team of men moved to gather the body, one on the men halted the rest, “Wait! Wait!” he shouted as he stood in front of the bloodied body of a man he’d once respected.

    Renji’s breathing was so sHollow, even a baby’s breath was heavier, but breathing he was.  “He’s. not dead.”
    
    “What?!” Matsumoto shouted in disbelief as she again looked at the man’s mangled form. She couldn’t see any signs of life.
    
    “It’s true, Matsumoto-Fuku-Taichou. He’s still breathing! Quickly we need to get him back. Maybe we can still save him!” the young man shouted in earnest.

    “Renji.” Matsumoto gasped suddenly frightened for the rapidly dying flame that was her friend.
    
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    Unohana-taichou rushed out to meet the critical arrival, with Isane at her heels. “Oh my goodness.” she cried as the team quickly rushed him to the forth squad critical unit “Quickly, inside.” They wasted no time in starting to tend his dramatic injuries.

    Renji’s eyes fluttered open periodically and a whispered name repeatedly escaped his bloody lips. “Ru…ki…a…” He couldn’t tell where he was, or what was happening to him. All he knew was that figures were swarming him and he was probably dying… maybe they were eating him and he had already died… He couldn’t feel his body. The only thing he could feel was the want for the petite girl who’d made her home in his coward of a heart.

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    “Taichou!” The young man rushed in out of breath, without so much as knocking, “He’s alive!”

    Byakuya’s eyes immediately went stark-wide and he stood, dropping his forgotten pen to the desk.
    
    “He’s in the fourth squad barracks now.” he croaked out as he leaned heavily on his knees while he caught his breath.
    
    The sixth squad captain quickly moved to leave his office. His formerly peaceful demeanor shattered by the unexpected news. He quickly arrived at the fourth squad barracks and found his gravely injured vice-captain being urgently attended to by Unohana and her squad.

    Byakuya stood back from the foot of the bed and stared down at the bloodied face of his vice-captain in disbelief. He’d gathered from the medic’s conversation that Renji was perhaps in his final moments, but he spoke despite this knowledge, “Is he going to live.” His voice came out as calm and collected as ever..

    Unohana worked diligently on the man’s dire wounds, and frowned as she heard the young captain’s question, but did not answer him.

    A young woman came to stand beside him and spoke gently, “I’m sorry, Kuchiki-Taichou. I’m afraid it’s too difficult to tell at this point, but it’s highly possible he will not make it. His injuries are grave.”
    
    As if to punctuate her point, Renji gagged suddenly and blood steadily trickled out of the corners of his mouth while the medical team frenzied around him, shouting and anxious. “Ru…kia..” he breathed haggardly as a pale, trembling hand reached out in desperation.

    Byakuya stepped closer, looking down on the man with expressionless eyes. “I’m sorry, Renji.” he whispered as Renji’s eyes met his, and for a moment they didn’t falter. Inevitably, Byakuya stepped back and turned away, leaving the red-haired shinigami to his fate. Keeping this from Rukia would be for the best. She would be able to move on easier if she didn’t have the lasting image of his pitiable eyes burned into her memory.    
    
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    Rukia had just returned home, and was feeling much better after her captain had worked so vigorously to cheer her up during the day. She softly hugged the Chappy stuffed doll he’d given her before she’d left. It was a kind gesture she’d expect from Ukitake-Taichou, but he’d really done more than that. Sitting, talking with her, and rubbing her back when she needed it was very relieving to her tired heart, and she was thankful she had such a benevolent man for her captain.
    
    As she headed to take a quick bath before probably heading to bed, she passed the sixth squad office and paused at the wide open door, looking in to see her brother absent. It was unusual to see the door left open without him being inside and she idly walked in. Her eyes wondered to the empty desk that used to be Renji’s and she approached it without thinking. His desk was relatively messy, despite all the paperwork being previously removed. She saw an open pack of cigarettes stashed near the corner and tilted her head. Since when had he smoked? The desk drawer was ajar slightly and she slowly pulled it out the rest of the way, eyes widening a tiny bit as she saw a familiar photograph laying atop everything else. The same one she’d been holding so close all week.

    She felt her lip begin to quiver and quickly she shut the drawer then rapidly rubbed her face, giving her cheeks a small slap at the end as she tried to distract herself from crying again. She sighed before quickly leaving the office and closing the door. As she turned to continue down the hall she jumped in surprise to see Byakuya standing behind her.
    
    “Nii-sama! Oh, you scared me.” she said  holding a hand over her chest.

    “Apologies.” he muttered as he diverted his eyes and walked on past.

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    “Good morning, Rukia-chan.” Ukitake said with a gentle smile as she entered his office. “I’m a little surprised to see you here today.”

    Rukia smiled sadly, “Mm. I think I’m getting better finally.”
    
    The thirteenth squad captain looked at her a little confused, “Better? I just thought you would probably be with the fourth squad today. You don’t have to come in at a time like this, Rukia.”

    The little shinigami regarded her captain in utter puzzlement, “What do you mean?”
    
    Ukitake’s brow furrowed, “You poor dear, didn’t Byakuya tell you?” When Rukia’s silence continued he presumed he was correct, “We found Abarai-Fuku-Taichou alive yesterday. He’s in dire condition in the fourth squad’s critical unit.”    
        
    Wide azure eyes stared in disbelief for a moment as the words sunk in, “Alive…” she whispered. She bolted out the door before anything else could be said, making a b-line for the fourth squad’s barracks.

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    “Renji!” She cried as she was stopped at the entrance to the critical ward, “Please where is he?! Let me see him!”

    Isane tried to calm the frantic girl as she barged in quite unannounced, “Rukia-sama, please calm down.”

    “I want to see him.” Rukia said with tears brimming her eyes as she tried to keep herself calm for her own sake.

    Isane sighed and nodded, “Fine, but he’s really not well at all. We were up all night working on him, “She said as she began to lead the dwarfed girl to Renji’s bedside, “He’s a tough customer, a real fighter, but… there’s really no guarantee at this point, Rukia-sama, please understand that.”

    Rukia nodded to the tall woman’s back, understanding that this might only be an opportunity to tell him goodbye… but that was more than she could have asked for last week.

    Isane stopped and gestured for Rukia to enter the small closed off area reserved for the red-headed vice captain. Rukia entered hesitantly, and her mouth fell open as she laid eyes on the familiar figure. She approached his bedside and looked worryingly upon his sleeping face. The medical team had attempted to clean him up a little, but dried blood was still generously present over his form. “Oh…Renji.” she said softly as she reached to move his usually bound crimson locks from his cheek, but stopped midway to his face.

    “It’s okay, Rukia-sama. You can touch him. I’m sure he’d like that.” Isane said encouragingly from the doorway.

    The small girl swallowed as she finished the distance and brushed the slightly matted hair from his face, letting her hand stroke gently over his head. She let her fingers run through his hair softly as she looked down at his body. His shinigami uniform hung, shredded, from the sides of the hospital bed, trapped under his weight. A blanket and bandages covered most of him, but the ghostly-pale skin that was exposed was well-bruised and scratched. Bloodied stains on the pillow and sheet, was testament enough to the battle the medical team had gone through last night.
    
    Weary, scarlet orbs became visible as soothing fingers continued through his hair, coaxing his eyes to open. Her name rolled off his lips and he saw her perfect face, creased in sadness, smile at him.
    
    “Hey.” she said as tears spilled unyieldingly down her face.

    “Hey.” he replied smiling up at her in a blissfully forgotten body. He rolled his palm over and opened it, and was happy to feel her warm hand clasp over his fingers. “Stupid. Why’re you cryin’ over me…” he said hoarsely.
    
    Rukia sniffled loudly as she tried to hold it in. “Because. You’re so pathetic right now. You better not die, Renji.”

    His eyelids felt so heavy while he watched his best friend’s concerned visage, and his resolve resurfaced as he felt her warm tears drip onto his cheek, “If I was gonna die… I’da done it a long time ago… woulda been less of a hassle.” he added jokingly as he offered her a smile and squeezed her hand.

    Rukia smiled back at him through the dampness on her face, the first true smile she’d showed since the events had first unfurled. She lowered her head and hid her face in the nape of his neck, careful not to aggravate his injuries, and he closed his eyes in contentment as he felt her soft hair brush his cheek.
    
    Isane smiled at the pair and stepped out of the room, feeling a little more confident in the young vice captain’s will to live.    ‘I think he just might make it, after all.’