Things Never Spoken: The Missing Parts of Me

Chapter 8

    "Ow-ta-ta-ta!" came Rukia's feminine voice as she argued with the thick bushes.

    "This is nuts…This sensor goes on and off more than a stripper's panties." Ichigo snorted as he pocketed the irritating device they'd been relying on.

    Rukia yelped as he released a tree branch he'd pushed aside. "Baka! You did that on purpose!" she screamed as she quickly stood up.

    The boy sighed in aggravation, "Can't you stop complaining and focus for a bit."

    "I'm not complaining!" she objected stubbornly.

    "Fine, look, I think the location is solid. Every time it pops up it seems to be at the same coordinates." Ichigo mumbled as he continued to push through the undergrowth.

    "And… the sensor… it only picks up anything when Renji is… changed…" Rukia asked almost timidly to the boy's back.

    The substitute shinigami nodded.

    Rukia was quiet. She still found it hard to believe that Renji had really done all those things they'd said he'd done. She had yet to see him as anything but himself. She'd seen him a lot of things in the past, but this one would be new, and perhaps frightening.

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    Night had fallen and the crickets chirped loudly through the crisp air. Ichigo put out a hand to stop the girl beside him and her wide eyes rose to his face anxiously. "Look." he whispered as he crouched a bit.

    Rukia's eyes narrowed as they found themselves at the enemy's doorstep. A man walked, dragging a maimed looking corpse by the arm, out into the woods. She felt a spiny fear jump into her throat and lodge itself there. She couldn't see in the dim moonlight… the body only had the familiar uniform of a shinigami. "Renji…" she whispered. She wanted to go. She wanted to attack the man and see for herself, to prove to herself, that it was not her friend's body being discarded into the forest like a bag of trash. However, Ichigo's firm hand on her shoulder prevented her from moving forward.

    The man returned empty handed and disappeared in winding roots of a huge barren tree. Ichigo released her shoulder and finally stepped into the small clearing where the big tree was. He seemed nervous and gently, perhaps unconsciously, he took her hand in his and walked toward the place the man had discarded the shinigami's body.

    Rukia swallowed as it came into view through the darkness. She audibly sighed in relief when she saw the hair was brown and cut short. She turned into the boy's side and clasped his uniform, shakily.

    "It's alright. We'll save him." he reassured her as he rubbed her back briefly.

    Quietly, they snooped around the big tree where they'd seen the man disappear. Their base was undoubtedly well hidden from prying eyes; even this close it was hard to tell there was anything here except an old dead tree. Rukia paused between two of the huge roots. "Footprints" She whispered to the orange-haired boy as she knelt to observe them closer.

    As Ichigo came to her side, he noticed a slight outline of light in the dark shadows of the roots. Giving the wood a push, a door revealed itself as the roots opened up into dimly lit a hallway. He and Rukia glanced at one another before descending into the depths of the tree's underground.

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    There was not a soul to be seen. Halls extended in every direction and rooms with heavily barred doors and glass rooms were among the things they came across. Ichigo had his sword ready should they run into anyone… or anything unpleasant. He glanced at the tracking device again… nothing.

    Rukia stopped as they entered a room with a huge computer and control panel lining its walls. The chairs were empty, but through the thick glass on the right side of the room she saw a girl curled in the corner. She placed her hands on the glass as she watched the girl, starving and bloody. She seemed so blank as she sat… as if she didn't care… as if she'd given up. The monitor to the left beeped steadily with her heart rate, and Rukia frowned.

    Ichigo clenched his fist, "We can't leave her here like this."

    Rukia put her hand on his, "We have to. The Gotei 13 will save her once I report in the location… but they won't save Renji."

    He frowned and lowered Zangetsu with an understanding nod.

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    "Renji" Ichigo said as the pair rounded a corner into another corridor. They could see the lights bright ahead and a man's shadow cast against the wall. The murmur of heated voices echoed quietly off the cold stone walls. Renji's reiatsu was fluctuating slightly as the pair hurried toward the room. They stopped just outside, listening to assess what they could of the situation before moving.

    "Now, now. There's no reason to shout." the first man's voice was nasally and a bit awkward.

    "I can't believe your incompetence. I trust you haven't killed him yet."

    "Come on. It's perfectly fixable. Don't get bent out of shape"

    "I built this machine, you know! This isn't about whether it's fixable. Aizen-sama is expecting results! If you've set us back with your tinkering, Yazir, so help me!"

    "Zaidel, its fine! I'll fix it!" Yazir reassured the other man.

    "Look at him! It's not fine! It's going to be another week before he'll be able to undergo the procedure again! It should have been done tonight!" Zaidel yelled as the sound of papers flying fluttered out the door.

    Rukia frowned to Ichigo mouthing the name 'Aizen' to him questioningly and he clenched his sword in preparation to strike.

    The room abruptly grew quiet and Rukia and Ichigo went stiff.

    "Giljano?"

    Suddenly an arm swung around the door frame and smashed into Ichigo's neck, making Rukia jump back in shock as the stone wall cracked and chipped under the colossal strength. Ichigo gagged as he struggled to free himself.

    "Ichigo!" Rukia cried as she drew her sword and attempted to slash at the arm restraining him, but before she could the wall crumbled away and a muscular looking arrencar stepped forward from the rubble, holding Ichigo firmly against his chest. The two scientists that had been arguing stood a small ways behind it, observing in apparent surprise.

    Ichigo growled as the mask overtook his face and he hit his attacker hard in the gut, sending him back a good ways so he could right himself, "Find Renji! I've got this guy" he barked.

    Rukia gave a curt nod and rushed past the pair as they began to brawl in the seemingly fragile hallway. The room was familiar, like the others with the computer and control panel, however she froze as she laid eyes on the person that was strung up on the other side of the glass. His face… his eyes… barren of any emotion. That wasn't like the passionate, feisty Renji she knew. Why hadn't he reacted to her? He was looking right at her but still it seemed as if he could care less… "What have they done to you?" she whispered with a wrinkle in her brow.

    The scientists looked mortified, "What the hell are they doing in here?"

    "Never mind what they're doing here! They're going to bring the whole structure down on top of us!" The other one yelled, "Giljano! You can't fight in here! Take him outside!"

    "Yes Sir" The brutish arrencar said before he grabbed Ichigo around the waist and bolted out of the underground so quickly, Ichigo could barely react before he was out under the night sky.

    "Hold it, girl." Zaidel snarled down at Rukia as she spun around and raised her zanpakuto angrily.

    "What did you do to him?" She demanded, pointing her weapon at the man's throat. "Change him back to normal!"

    The scientist raised his hands in surrender as the blade was directed at him, "I'm afraid that's impossible."

    "LIES!" She screamed and inched forward until the snow-white blade touched his skin.

    "He's not the same man anymore, no matter what you do; you won't be able to fix him." Zaidel said calmly as he looked down the blade at the deeply upset girl on the other end, "He'll only be a danger to you if you try to take him now. He's not a Shinigami anymore. He's a Hollow."

    "I'll kill you for this." came her unnaturally malicious voice as blood trickled down the tip of her sword.

    Before anything could happen Rukia heard a thump and immediately felt a sharp pain in her chest. She grabbed at it, her hand clasping around a metal dart that she rapidly pulled out. It was all the time the scientist needed to knock her blade to the side and tackle her. She grunted as the man's superior weight crushed her to the floor. She tried to fight, but she suddenly felt very dizzy. 'Shit' was the only coherent word she knew at the moment.

    "Thank you, Yazir." The man on top of her said calmly as he got off of her and yanked her up by her neck. He smashed her against the glass with a sneer on his lips, "Stupid girl. No brains at all. And you're masked friend out there will be finished soon enough as well. Pathetic fools."

    She tried to speak, but only heard herself moan unintelligibly.

    "Hm. That dose was meant to incapacitate your mindless friend in there, and you're probably a third his size. You might just die from that, you know." he said as he leaned in to her face with a smirk. "Though it would be an awful waste, don't you think?" he said as he idly let his hand wonder to the inside of her shirt, and cupped her small breast with a greedy hand. She moaned in protest and he laughed spitefully against her ear. "Let’s go see Abarai-kun shall we? Yazir, the counter-agent."

    The other scientist nodded and rummaged through a drawer briefly before handing Zaidel a syringe. She whimpered as he injected her with the drug and proceeded to haul her into the room where Renji had been watching calmly from his bonds.

    Rukia felt the fog around her mind clearing as she saw Renji's impassive face looking down on her, an apparent hole presenting itself over his heart. The scientist held her arms securely as she looked up at him and felt afraid… not of him, but afraid for what he had lost. He didn't care. His eyes were so dull and as empty as the hole in his chest. She blinked the moisture away that threatened to spill from her eyes.

    "Don't you have anything to say to him? Didn't you come all this way and go through all this trouble to save him, girl? And now?" He mocked her, "Nothing? Not even an apology for failing so miserably?"

    "Stop it." She barked at him angrily.

    "Ha! So now you finally understand, do you? We're reprogramming him, you see." He said smugly as Rukia's eyes widened in shock, "He's a blank slate right now, but once we're finished, he'll be the perfect soldier. All the colossal powers of an espada and the mindset of an ant." he laughed.

    "An ant?" Rukia frowned deeply as she continued to stare at the chained man in front of her and try not to scream.

    "He'll have no will of his own, and let’s face it, your man was never the sharpest tool in the shed, so I probably did him a favor wiping his mind clean and giving him the wits of a super computer. He'll be loyal to a fault."

    "He already was!" She shrieked as she flailed wildly against the man restraining her, writhing and thrashing like a worm on a hook. "Let go! Let go, you son of a bitch!"

    Renji's flinched at the commotion, but it went unnoticed by either of the two in front of him.

    "Enough of this!" The man snarled as he threw her to the ground and straddled her, keeping her wrists bound securely under his knees, "You're one mean bitch, but you've got me all hot and bothered, little one. Why don't we give Abarai-kun a little show?" he said as he ran his lecherous tongue up the side of her face.

    Rukia screamed and tried desperately to free herself, but he restrained her small, feminine form easily. She could feel him pulling her clothes open, running his hands over the small swell of her breasts. She continued to resist even as she felt his disgusting mouth latch onto her sensitive nipple with a moan. He bit her as she continued to struggle and she cried in pain as she felt the tears brimming her eyes. She looked at Renji as the scientist hurriedly worked to open her hakama along with his belt. He was watching them, still and quiet. Rukia felt her bottom lip quivering as she stared back at him at a loss. "Renji" she whimpered as tears finally spilled from the corners of her eyes down the sides of her crinkled face.

    In an instant chain links shot across the room like shrapnel and the scientist screamed in horror as he was picked up by the back of the head, and dangled in the air at least two feet from the ground. Rukia scurried backward across the floor, until she bumped into a wall, her eyes wide and frightened.

    "Abarai! Ah! Ah! Yazir! Yazir! The tranquil-" The man was silenced as Renji's hand closed around the back of his skull. A disgusting sounding pop was heard as the man's head busted like an overripe melon. Rukia was mortified.

    The other scientist ran in with the tranquilizer gun, his eyes wide in shock as he saw what had become of his colleague. Renji's eyes went to the man in the doorway as the gun was directed at him. And he swiftly used the dangling corpse in his hand to block the darts. The gun shot four times before it began clicking and Yazir screamed as he turned to run, but was cut short as the other man's body all but splattered against the control panel in front of him and he felt his stomach scream in mortifying pain before he flew face first into the floor. He saw the fiery hair of the Hollow looming over him and he tried to get up and run again, but his legs would not respond, and as he looked down he let out a primal cry. His lower half was laying several yards away on the other side of the room, where Renji has thrown it when he had ripped the man in two.

    He wailed in horror as Renji turned and walked back into the room. Rukia gasped as he stepped back inside and his eyes fell on her. She felt herself trembling as he approached her, the horrifying pressure of his reiatsu pounding down on her like a vacuum. She couldn't breathe. Then like a switch had been thrown, it turned off, and Renji's eyes softened into something she found vaguely familiar. "Ru…kia…" He said slowly as he watched her. She felt her tears resurface as she looked down at the blood dripping from his fingers. Her hands went up to cover her face as she smothered a sob.

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    "Rukia!" Ichigo cried as he skidded to a halt at the smashed up doorway. His mouth fell open as he saw the slaughter and he felt all the blood leave his face when he didn't get an answer, "RUKIA, ANSWER ME!"

    "Ichigo" came a soft reply. The boy jumped over the dismembered body and ran inside the room with the glass wall, seeing Renji immediately, and Rukia at his feet he gave a sigh of relief. "What…" happened, he was going to ask, but he quickly saw Renji's bloodied hands and concluded. He swallowed, hoping to god the Hollow wasn't in control.

    "Ichigo… lets go, please." Rukia said softly.

    The boy frowned as he noticed her clothes were barely clinging to her, "Okay…" he said, seeing her obvious upset. “Renji?" he asked to his friend's back.

    The red-head didn't react; he merely continued to watch the crying, half-clothed girl at his feet. He stood over her like a statue, but Ichigo was reluctant to get any closer to either of them, feeling slightly threatened by Renji's demeanor.

    "He's…not Renji." came Rukia's quivering voice, "He's a Hollow."

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    "Unbelievable. I'd read articles, but I had no idea the technology was actually-"

    "This isn't the time to admire their work!" Ichigo snarled.

    Urahara jumped slightly, "Ah. Yes of course. Apologies" he muttered as he stood up from the now unnaturally docile Renji. "Well, I'm not an expert. His mind has been severely tampered with. There's no way to really be sure what will become of him at this point."

    "So he could stay like this… forever?" Rukia spoke timidly as she sat at a distance from the three men.

    Urahara looked over to her small form, having almost forgotten she was there, she'd been so quiet. "I'd say that is unlikely, but not impossible." he began, "You see what this technology entails is a block on the mind. It's not an erasure of the mind, per se. His mind is still in there, and it's possible that he even comprehends the situation he's in, but the block causes an inability to act on the conscience mind's decisions."

    "But he did act!" Rukia objected, "He killed those scientists! He… killed them so easily." she trailed off.

    "It takes several sessions, from what I understand, to fully impose the block, however, I recall some notes that said even with a fully imposed block, it was possible for some dominant aspects to re-channel through different parts of the brain, and re-impose conscious decisions from the subject."

    "What the hell does that mean?" Ichigo asked with a befuddled twist on his lips.

    Urahara sighed, "It means that if the emotion is strong enough Abarai-kun might be able to act on it. The brain will re-wire in order to achieve action." Urahara spoke as he seated himself at the table and picked up his cup of tea, "You said he acted before, then he must have done just that."

    Rukia frowned as she watched him staring blankly ahead, "And what of the Hollow?" she asked as her eyes drifted down to the hole in his chest.

    "The block should be nondiscriminatory. The Hollow in him is locked away, just the same. The only thing it seems they wanted from him was the pure loyalty of a vizard, and none of the complications. Dangerous work, really. Like playing Russian roulette” Urahara said as he took a sip of his tea.

    Ichigo rubbed the back of his neck as he turned away, "If he ever does come around… It might not even be him. It might be the hollow’s personality that is in control…"

    Urahara nodded, diverting his eyes, "It's highly possible…"

    Rukia hid her face in her knees and whimpered softly.

    The shop manager frowned, "You're both probably tired from your ordeal. Why don't you both rest? I'll see what I can do for Abarai-kun."

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    It had been two days and Renji was largely the same as when he'd first arrived. Rukia had somehow managed to walk him to Urahara's, but he'd responded little to any outside influences since his arrival. Urahara had told them he probably wouldn't respond too much. He explained it as trying to use a computer with no operating system.

    In truth, Rukia hadn't really been with him much since his arrival. She felt… somewhat afraid of him, and it saddened her. Renji was a constant in her life she had never before been afraid of. He was someone she could always turn to if she was in trouble and would never turn her away. It disgusted her to now have the feeling of fear in her chest every time he was close to her. She just couldn't chase away the images of him killing those scientists so effortlessly and the horrid feeling of his suffocating reiatsu. It's true she'd seem him kill people before… They were not only soldiers, but as children they had had their share of dirty tasks. Even then when they would walk away with crimson dripping from their finger tips, she was never hesitant to hold onto his bloody hands. The way his eyes would follow her… and the emptiness behind them… She hated herself for feeling that way, when he so desperately needed her support.

    Urahara and his gang were out on an errand and she and Ichigo sat on the porch while Renji remained secluded in his room, where he'd more or less been for the past two days. Ichigo had seemed a little down, himself, and Rukia had remained close to him, seeking comfort, or perhaps just trying to distract herself from her own inner turmoil. Either way, it seemed he needed the solace just as much as she did.

    "You haven't really spent much time with him…" He said as they both looked out at the pink and orange hues of the falling sun. "Aren't you worried?"

    The petite girl sighed as she looked away, tilting her head sadly, "I am… It's just… It's complicated." she muttered.

    The teen pursed his lips, "He probably doesn't think so right now… I think it would mean a lot to him if you would stay with him a bit."

    Rukia frowned as she turned back toward him, "Can we not talk about this… I'm… I'm just tired of all this. I don't want to think."

    Ichigo seemed disappointed in her, but didn't reply. He could sympathize with her… after she'd told him the entire story of what had happened. He was thankful Renji had somehow gotten the will to stop that man. In all the madness and all the hopelessness that was probably consuming him, Rukia's desperation was still enough to pull him out of the stupor. That alone, gave Ichigo hope that somehow he would make it through… he only hoped Rukia would somehow see that as well.

    He was pulled from his thoughts when he felt the warmth of her press up against his side. He glanced at her small form, noting her blouse was dipped rather low, and he blushed despite himself. "I thought we went through this…" he muttered trying to act cool.

    "Went through what?" she said sounding annoyed. She grabbed his arm and put it around her as she curled up to him, tucking her head against his chest.

    The boy exhaled a breath he hadn't realized he was holding and allowed his hand to close around her bare shoulder. They sat there like that for a time before he finally spoke, "Rukia… I don't-"

    She interrupted him, "Shaddup, you idiot." she growled, "I just want to be held… is that too much to ask?"

    He was slightly surprised at her outburst, but then he creased his brow in a pout as he heard the sadness in her voice… she didn't like to appear weak. He, at least, wouldn't turn her away when she needed to cry on someone's shoulder. He squeezed her a bit, to let her know he was there and he had her.

    It seemed like forever before her tears abandoned her and she was left with only Ichigo for company. He was warm against her cheek and she could hear the soft drum of his heartbeat. When she lifted her head from his chest, his eyes met with hers' and there was a knowing moment that passed between them. She reached up and took his face between her small hands as she got to her knees. Ichigo seemed uncertain, but as their lips met his eyes closed and he held onto her with newly kindled ardor.

    As the light slowly faded over the horizon, the pair sat kissing in the dark, oblivious to anything except each other. However, as Rukia laid back and allowed a somewhat zealous Ichigo to kiss along her collar bone, she found a pair of eyes watching from inside the house. She nearly shrieked as she sat up in a start, "Renji!"

    Ichigo grabbed his mouth in pain after taking a shoulder to the face, but managed to turn and see the red-head standing a few yards away, staring. They both found their feet seeming surprised that Renji had actually moved about on his own and that he happen to appear at such a particular moment… it was awkward to say the least…

    When he began to step toward them, the same deadpan expression on his face, Rukia tensed at once. Red eyes were fixed on her and when he reached a proximity she finally stepped back from him. He stopped. The confusion and sadness in his eyes were lost on her as she trembled in his presence. When he turned his head and his eyes met with Ichigo's, the boy immediately felt the icy fingers of guilt grip him. Renji stared into his eyes with such intensity he had to look away. Since his return, the man had not shown even a shred of emotion, but the look in his eyes now… no words need be said.

    His hand moved and Rukia fell back with gasp. The red head stared at her, his mouth falling ajar just barely. He grabbed the empty Hollow in his chest and for a moment his brow creased as he stared intently at her. His hand patted the hole as if he wanted to draw her attention to it, but she didn't seem to understand. Finally, he stepped again, passing between the two and descending the stairs of the porch. The darkness took him from their eyes, and Ichigo leapt from the porch as he realized.

    "Renji wait! Where are you going?"