Writing Critique Requested

This is a poem I came up with when my cousin (the one who reffered me here in the first place) told me about a story idea, which I plan to do fanart for, even though it's not published. Anyway, the series is about a woman titled, The Dollmaker (guess where got my name?) and she takes human bodies and makes them into dolls. Then she sells them to people. It's kind of like Petshop of Horrors. ^.^

Hm, while dwelling in self-hate and loathing, i wrote this poem. Funny. I believed that i can't learn nothing new from poetry...

My sister and I were talking, remembering the "old days" of when we were younger. Things seemed so much simpler then. So I wrote this out of inspiration. Yay! ^_^

I wrote this one night about 2 months ago. I remember the emotions of that night, and none were good. I didn't have depression, depression had me...

For so long I was suffering in silence, but I finally decided to stop hidding and admit to my pain.

I was suffering in silence for a long time, but I finally decided to stop hidding.

Hm, i've started to watch Neon Genesis Evangelion again, and this is something that came up in my mind... *Spoiler warning!!* This event is found in the End of Evangelion.

Sexay

i hope it's okies if i post this poem, i've been wanting some insight about it for some time now. the main charry in my comic writes this... and it must be PERFECT!!!!..ok..maybe not 'perfect' but at least make sence and flow..lol

not much to say... it's about a girl finding her predestind love in an extremly patriarcle society, and the gifts she gives to him. (her name means nobal gift, and I added an angelic sufix)

Hm, nothing interesting, really. Just my thoughts put on a paper of how it would like to be a power, that suprasses flesh and bone

One of many of my "Daisuki" Series, which is a series of short stories with a heavy yaoi theme, mostly about DBZ. This one is the couple of Vegeta x Trunks.

My testimony. A short story on a few things I have learned this year, and throughout life. :)

This is my thoughts in a short little blurb, about finding the right job and loving it. And that God has given us all gifts and talents...well, read it if you want to know more. :)

This poem goes out to anyone who has ever had their heart broken.

I tried to put myself in Akito's shoes in this poem. I feel the same way at times, and don't we all? It's sort of self analysis, so I can truly understand why Akito acts the way she does. I was all the more eager to write a poem from her POV after reading some fanfics and just because I wanted to explain how she feels.

This poem was inspired by my sister, who was talking to me about "the simple days" of when we were younger, and how everything is so hard now.

This is a short poem I wrote about the first time my love and I went for a walk. It was for sure a walk to remember.

Here is a poem I wrote when looking back on all that had happened this past year.

Derith, a young man at the age of 18, has had troubles lately. A Nightmare has come so sudden and has left Derith to wonder what is going on with himself. Was this dream a vision of the future? It felt so real. Derith was not certain, but the nightmare felt as if it was a reality. Seven friends find that fate has given them a gift, an adventure. Together, the seven friends try to discover the secrets of Terrathune and find themselves to be more important to the world than they thought. Derith is hunted down by an unknown organization, and it is up to Derith with his newly discovered power of seeing visions of the future, and his friends, to stop the hunters and to figure out why they want him so badly. By embarking on this journey of answers, the friends find many other adventures and eventually become known all throughout Terrathune! Copyright 2005, Derek Wallace, Chicho Tamayo 10/8/05.