untitled: Guilty Man Speaks

 

Urius lay beside Ceata, exhausted only after one try. He felt the ache in him subsiding, leaving the weightless feeling of afterglow to settle around him. It was pleasant...Almost like a spell that broke him away from the outside world. Ah and Ceata's skin was so warm and smooth...He nuzzled into it, pressed against the other's chest as Ceata cradled him there. The other was well aware of how different sex was now. It was passionate, to be true, but it contained an air of desperate need to it...especially on Urius' part. He seemed to need constantly the touch of Ceata's arms about him, holding their bodies flush together. It was about comfort, not lust or desire...that was certainly very different, as Ceata usually never felt this way about sex before. After all, for his race, it was almost as easy as breathing...now it felt like his breath was being slowly strangled off.

 

Love was not always about your wants though. Urius was aching and the comfort he needed would have to come at some cost to Ceata.
A cost the young shadowshifter was willing to pay, but still a cost.
Ceata yawned softly, breath ruffling his mate's hair. Urius was cleaving to him like a child, cuddled up close in exhaustion.
"Are you asleep?" Ceata asked, voice hushed.

 

"No....I don't want to sleep," Urius says softly against Ceata's skin, his voice making pleasant vibrations rumble against his lover's chest. "....I'll have nightmares." Ceata did not doubt that at all, for Urius had seen some things that even he didn't want to contemplate. After all, when Ceata finally located Adonis and watched that terrible scene with Yoren, Urius had already been beaten bloody both inside and out. There were also other things that would plague him...Stannis spoke of guilt and it seemed like, in some part, Urius' selfishness had led him down this path...Certainly in his unwillingness to kill Rowan and end the man's suffering, but also in his withholding information and lying so often about his situation. He really cut off all chances for help at that point...but why? What was he so terrified of letting out that he'd dig himself so deeply into a hole, leaving himself and everyone he loved in such horrible pain?

 

Ceata wished he could get that answer, but to ask it of Urius now seemed to be a cruel stab at the others heart.
Pale hands slid through Urius' hair, the dark locks sliding against his powder white fingers.

 

Stannis seemed to know, though getting secrets out of him was even harder than getting them from Urius. Perhaps it was some way to spite his brother or a cause for his spite, but Stannis would say nothing as to what Urius' secret was. The only one that had actually ever given meaningful information willingly was Farryn...and Stannis really had him by the balls. 

 

Bunch of tight assed Starcs. Ceata sighed and nuzzled the top of Urius' head, beginning the slow, delicate act of grooming his mate with his teeth and lips.
Where this trait had come from was unknown, but it was an everyday thing for a properly mated shadowshifter and the act of doing it and receiving it was comforting.

 

Urius seemed to find it so, for he nuzzled against Ceata lovingly for his affections. It was just what they needed - this delightful distraction. As the world went on around them, they could revel in just the feeling of one another and the bond they shared. Though it would never be quite as perfect as it was when they first met...there was something altogether stronger about it now. Ceata, like Exodus and other Shadowshifters before him who had seen love - true love and not just its lustful forms -, was finally realizing what it really meant to be a mate. As a child, he had his own idealistic fantasies...in some ways, they were true. In others, they were much more intense than he ever imagined. Thus tainted by the reality of things, his ignorant bliss obliterated, he found himself facing his adulthood fully and without wavering. 

No more spoiled little Princeling.

 

No, now there was a young man fully coming into his adulthood and knowing what real responsibility was. He continued to purr softly, caressing Urius' scarred back as he groomed.
His fingertips tracing the brand upon Urius' back, that beautiful mark that made Ceata shiver to see.

 

Urius groaned lightly when it was touched, for it was as sensitive as the brand just above the other's buttocks. Ceata enjoyed that idea, knowing that dragging his nails along it would make Urius feel intense pleasure. "Mm...you seem to like that spot a lot, Ceata," Urius says softly, moving to kiss against the other's chest lovingly.

 

Ceata flushed slightly. "I like the noises you make when I touch it." He admitted softly, nose pressing against the soft hair that adorned the top of the Starc's head.
"Does it bother you, love?"

 

 

"No...I don't dislike it," Urius sighed softly as he allowed Ceata to hold him in the manner. "I just...it feels strange to know that I am marked in this way...Then again, Rowan left plenty of his marks upon me." Urius reached over a shoulder and touched against the scars. They were still there. His hands were not his own, the fingers unfamiliar, the calloused ones that he did not earn himself...It felt strange. Even Ceata did not recognize at first the touch of his lover - a touch he had once memorized against his skin.

 

He'd relearn the others touch once they'd both gotten used to the strangeness of it. The shadowshifter sighed and smiled a little. "Well... at least everyone knows you're mine." He laughed weakly and kissed the top of his mate's head adoringly.

 

".........................Are you really that jealous of Rowan?" Urius asks as he feels the other's muscles tense. Really, that's something that Ceata doesn't like to admit. Urius is very fragile right now and the Shadowshifter's envy really doesn't need to be added to the mix. Even so, he betrays himself with the way he moves. Urius sighs. "You are...."

 

"...Sorry..." Ceata uttered softly, hiding his face into dark hair. He felt ashamed that Urius knew that he was intensely jealous of Rowan, angered that Urius was so devoted to the man. "I'm not trying to be..."

 

"But you are......You're so jealous that you would hurt me, beat me, kill me - whatever it takes to possess me." Urius turned to look at Ceata, his eyes filled with doubt and uncertainty. As the beautiful Shadowshifter youth lifted his head to stare into those purple-gray eyes, he saw not displeasure or even distress. It was more like understanding...perhaps even relief. "That's how I feel about Rowan....Even though he will never love me, even though we will never be happy, I can't let him go." He smiles gently. "Even if he hurts me, I will never let him go......You feel the same, don't you?"

 

Ceata nodded, sheepishly peeking up into Urius' eyes. He had been afraid that Urius would hate him for this, but... no, there was more of an understanding now for the both of them.
"I can't help it....I love you so much."

 

He looks away and sighs, his eyes filled with that familiar far-away look. "I don't know if I love Rowan.....It's beyond love now. I can't break myself from him, even if I know there are times I wanted him dead....I still want him dead." He sighs and looks away. "That kind of selfishness is not love."

 

Ceata sighed softly and ran his hand down Urius' back. "You can't keep him alive anymore, Urius..." He uttered softly. "There is no more Rowan you knew... just a monster."

 

"No...Rowan was always a monster..." He presses his face against Ceata's chest and feels his heart beating against his lips, like he could taste it. "Even when we were young...he would always ask impossible things of me...He'd cling to me and yet....yet I couldn't really get him to return it. He was always a coward...but, then again, I was too...and selfish. We are too alike, he and I." Urius raises his eyes, the glow of the purple intensifying. "We are both monsters."

 

"But you're my monster." Ceata cooed softly, cupping Urius' face delicately in his hands. "And You are always mine. Nothing will change that." Well, many things could, but Ceata had to be optimistic or he'd sink into despair.
They did not need that.

 

"....I'm not so certain anymore, Ceata...With every passing day, I feel more and more at fault for all this pain. I really am a terrible person...I don't see why you continue to cling to me." Urius lets his head fall, his heart aching from all the guilt that weighs it down. He can't stand to breathe at times, it crushing his lungs with every passing moment. It hurts most when he looks into Ceata's eyes, seeing the exhaustion and the agony there. How could he hurt what he loves most? That certainly makes him a monster, if nothing else. "I've done so much...that I'm not proud of."

 

Ceata quietly continued to pet the soft dark hair under his hands. There was nothing he could say to that that would make his lover feel better.
"All you can do is make up for it, love." He murmured softly as he curled his fingers into the others hair and pressed him closer.

 

"...I will never be forgiven, not by anyone," Urius whispers softly as he moves to get up. He just can't lay there anymore. Outside his door, the castle is once again gaining momentum. The battle isn't over by a long shot and the war room is a flurry of action. Chaos stands before Lord Death and glowers, her rage obviously felt. "Even after seeing this, you still won't get rid of Urius...fine...but what about that miserable Absinthe? He's with Adonis. My Shadows have confirmed it."

 

"If he gets in the way, I'll kill him." Death replied, arms crossed. "But until then, he is not to be killed." The immortal kept his gaze on Chaos, unwavering and confident.

"Right now I have no reason to kill him."  Besides, Exodus would try his damndest to kill Death if harm came to his little Absinthe. To the scarred fiend, Absinthe was still the sweet, innocent thing he had been as a tiny child.

 

"Fine, fine...but I have no doubt Adonis will try something. After all, it seems he had strong connections with Greed...I wouldn't be surprised if he was responsible for the CRISIS incident," Chaos frowns, standing there with Gai at her side. She's really taken to the sweet Death Angel, even asking her to come back with her to the kingdom of the Gods to be Rulca's special little playmate. 

 

Death was pleased by that. Gai really was too sweet a girl to do this much longer. She would do better in Chaos' care.

"I would suspect he was probably the one actually behind it." He replied softly, arms crossing over his chest as he looked thoughtful.

"And I suspect he's probably doing more of that..."

 

Lord Death, if that's the case, then how is he going to create more Engineered Angels without Aysel?" Amari asks with a frown. "I don't think that's the case...because, honestly, Absinthe isn't an albino Shadowshifter, so wouldn't the spell then not work?"

 

"Who says he's using Absinthe?" Death glanced to the other. "Spells can be tweaked to work different ways if one is skilled enough."

 

"But...then that must mean he has some other poor Shadowshifter under his control," Roaden says with a grit of his teeth. After all, Dovinitas - his former husband and lover - birthed the twins, one of which had his body switched with Matsumushi's own child with Yasunari to create Engineered Angels. Aysel's blood was used to harm Donovan, the result of the soul switching, and turn him into a monster. Could it be that there was another Shadowshifter out there with blood capable of doing the same?

 

"Possibly. Since the breeding facilities were started up and the finding of colonies of shadowshifters, there have been more recently. He could have nabbed himself one.  Rowan did have control over a large group of them, did he not?"  The immortal cocked his head slowly to the side.
"Albinos are so rare... they are mostly in the royal bloodline as well. He would have had to search long and hard to find one and then keep it alive with a lot of special care."

 

"But it's quite possible that he did....and, if he did, the only one that would know would be..." Amari said softly, Stannis stepping in at that moment with an angered look on his face.
"Urius." The group turned to look at him, Chaos surprised that he managed to get through the door without being perceived at all. "He's up and he wants to speak with you, Lord Death. There are some things he finally wants to get off his chest."

 

"Let him in then." Death ordered, nodding to Stannis slowly. The immortal silently waited with arms crossed over his chest as the murmurs of those around them filled the still air.

"The more we know, the better."

 

"Sir...he wanted to speak with you alone," Stannis replies with a bit of annoyance, as he believes that Urius has a lot more than Death to apologize to. Even so, it's better than nothing and he really can't fault his brother. Well....yes, he can, but he's done plenty of things wrong throughout his long life that he has yet to apologize for, so at least he can't complain.

 

The immortal looked surprised, but he nodded and moved toward Stannis. "Where is he? Take me to him, please?" He looked down at the Starc thoughtfully and allowed the grumpy man to lead him along.

 

"This way, My Lord," Stannis say, turning and leaving. Death casts a fleeting glance towards those he leaves in the room, seeing Lazarus staring at him from the far end of the corner. He can sense something is wrong, unsure how to place it. Still, he has his beloved by his side, tyring to comfort him in his time of need. Sahenna has seemingly been rejected out of the company of Urius and looks miserable, unsure how to take yet another blow to his psyche. He feels so alone, even if he has Lazarus by his side. After all, everything he loved in his life before Lazarus is slowly dwindling. Who wouldn't be saddened by that?

He was lucky to at least have those that cared about him now with him. Death followed after Stannis, silent and brooding. What would Urius be sharing with him? He only hoped it would be information that could be used to stop Adonis and to save Urius from being taken over by Sorrow.

 

The hope was there, but the reality of the situation didn't seem to allow for that sort of blessed luck. As it was, Death was lucky that he had escaped Sorrow's presence unharmed. As Life, he had a lot of power to him that could easily be manipulated at the end of those chains...Either way, Death followed Stannis down the long twisting corridors to a small study that had since been neglected since a new addition had been built. It was here that Urius decided to confess, far from the general chaos that was going on the westerly side of the castle where the infirmary had been based. 

 

When they entered the room, Ceata was sitting within it as well. A silent, comforting presence for Urius. Death doubted that Ceata would leave Urius' side until the other ordered him to do so.

Taking a seat, Death looked to Urius with his dark eyes.

"Well, lord Starc, please say what you wish to say."

 

"...Yes, well..." Urius says as he clears his throat, glancing up to see Stannis there. The other glowers at his brother and Urius glances away quickly, feeling a bit nervous with so many eyes upon him. Even so, the door is secure. It's not as though anyone is going to sneak up to hear what he has to say...yet the weight of the air in his lungs is staggering, almost preventing him from breathing, let alone talking. "There are...several things you should know...I....really don't know where to begin."

 

"Begin where it is best to begin." Death replied impatiently. He wished to hear this and soon. He was needed elsewhere and only had so much time to get this needed information.

"Go on, Urius." Ceata murmured softly, his hands folded delicately in his lap.

 

Urius sighs, really finding Death's words not to be comforting in the least and his impatient looks even less so. This is something monumental for him - admitting to such wrongs that would reveal him as the terrible person he really is. Stannis' eyes are so sharply upon him that he can feel pinpricks against his skin. He grits his teeth and starts.
"Rowan grew up in a world filled with corruption..."

~ ~ ~

It wasn't unusual to find maids sleeping with their masters or married men taking to bed one woman or another. Even so, adultery is illegal for Angels and will cause them to become mortal if a child is conceived. Rowan's father was a man who had so many bastards, he really couldn't keep track. As base as any morally bankrupt human, he raped young women, boys, even his own children...and he never once lost his immortality....
A slap rang through the great hall with enough volume to echo across the walls. A young blond boy lay there on the floor, holding his cheek and glaring at the floor as his father loomed over him. "Worthless child!! Wretched creature!!" Robert sneered, striking the boy in the stomach with his boot. Rowan made a choked gasp as he doubled over and gripped his stomach. "Where did you hide your brother?! Not but days after your mother's death, and the little wretch is gone!! Where is he!!??"
Rowan slowly drew himself up, arms shaking. "P-please, Sir, you're going to kill him -!" a maid cried in despair as she rushed forward. She was held back by a wiser housekeeper, who knew to stay out of it.
"Shut up!!" Robert roared, the girl hiding in the arms of the housekeeper. His rage thus intensified, he turned back to Rowan and picked him up by the neck, the boy's face solidly placid, though now covered in bruises. "You mock me, child, with your every breath...but I KNOW you...I smell it on you like the stench of hell!" Robert's eyes glistened coldly. "Oh, yes...Don't think I don't know what happened to your swords master...I PAID the man to have you put in your place...but, no..." Rowan's eyes widen with a terrified gleam.
Memories flooded back of the stench of booze, the feeling of a hot and heavy body atop his slender frame, pressing to him. Grimy fingers ripped at his tunic, curses, a fumbling of a belt and then....
"Oh, yes..." Robert whispered lowly, too low for the servants to hear. "I know that THING murdered him...that beast.....I bought your mother's dowry because I was promised that I would have immortality with every vice I pleased in return for impregnating her....THAT creature promised me...Him and that ugly little wretch Liam, if I would just rape your disgusting bitch of a mother and gather up a few Shadowshifters for him...but, what is this? I find you a murderer AND a beast." Robert grins and begins to drag Rowan towards the door. "For that, boy, I will BEAT the monster out of you!" 

 

~ ~ ~

"Rowan's mother was, unfortunately, dead by that time...He hid Yoren from the light of day in a monastery beyond the Starc border. I helped him...Jinevae and I. Meanwhile, his father's abuse became so bad that the attacks became all the more frequent..." Urius says, clasping his hands as he stares at the floor - a almost pious position.

~ ~ ~

"You can't just let him keep doing this..." Urius says softly, only a boy himself. He places a cold patch against Rowan's skin as the other sits back and stares at the fire, exhausted and yet still brooding.
"Why do you think he's gathering Shadowshifters, Urius? ...And why does he keep talking about this monster that gave my mother away?" Rowan asks lightly, his sad green eyes watching the flickering flames.
"I don't know...but it's not something to be concerned about now. Come, turn to me," Urius says as he gets Rowan to turn his face. Those green eyes flicker up to Urius'.
"....Urius...?"
"What is it, Rowan? Your talking is making it hard for me to bandage this..." Urius sighs, a little displeased with Rowan's endless chatter. He's trying to do his job.
"...do you resent me?"
The bandages dropped. Grey eyes widened.
"W-what? Why would you say that?" Urius stammered with surprised, hardly believing that Rowan had caught so easily upon his minor annoyed looks or his displeasured stares. Then again, Rowan was the observant kind, albeit childish.
"....it's nothing...Never mind. I'm just being stupid again," Rowan says as he turns obediently and sits there, staring into the fire.

~ ~ ~

"I should have noticed then...but I really didn't. I was an idiot to think that simply ignoring Rowan's inquiries about my feelings wouldn't have an adverse effect...Even then, we loved one another. I less so than him, but...Rowan had a way of always winning me over, despite how annoyed I was with his selfishness or his rash actions, but...well...he had very little regard for himself. This lack of self-esteem caused him to be more rash than anything...and I certainly didn't stop him..."

 

They were all quiet while listening to this, Death intently looking upon Urius and taking in each word of this story with unusual intensity.

Yes, this was the most important information that he could ever hear right now.

~ ~ ~

"You're buying Shadowshifters?! M-My Lord, it's the middle of the war! This is not a good idea...especially since Shadowshifters have been deemed demons...There's a genocide that’s - " Urius says in earnest, being stopped by the gloved fingertip of a youth no older than thirteen. He is smiling, a handsome smile he has earned over the years which is intoxicatingly beautiful. Even Urius cannot fight it, though he finds what comes from those upturned lips to be ludicrous and dangerous at best.
"We need workers...lots of them," Rowan replies as he heads back down the alley, going towards the secret passage that leads into the abandoned tunnel ways they have claimed as their headquarters. Gow, a shapeshifting Dreamscape creature - one of Morpheus' own kind - now is responsible for fixing up the dismal underground to make it inhabitable, especially for their new guests.
"Workers...workers for what?" Urius inquires, a bit nervous about even asking for fear of what he will get in turn. Rowan only pauses in his steps down the winding black staircase. He turns, the flickering of the torch illuminating his handsome face and the mysterious smile that lingers there.
"To exact my revenge...to make a difference in the world...to stop running. I need workers, you see. People who will help me with this." Rowan turns and continues descending. "Even you must agree that this world won't change itself...so I will simply look to Adam and Eve for help."
"Adam.....and Eve?"

~ ~ ~

"He knew them, to some extent...Through the connections he had made by buying Shadowshifters to save them from the genocide, he had found a way to know them...perhaps only through acquaintances, but it was enough to know where to find the greatest prize of all - Adam's own journal." 

 

Death's eyes widened and the big male's hand clenched at the chair so hard there was a cracking sound. He knew that Adam and Eve had known many, had moved about in circles that Death had not.
But to think they had known Rowan, even through acquaintances only, was so surprising.

~ ~ ~

"Rowan...what is all this?" Urius breathed as he looked around at the mountains of books that Rowan had collected in a small room among the many being built in the tunnels. It was a dry room, keeping the books from any sort of decay. Still, it was only small enough for barely two people and the hundreds of Shadowshifter tomes that the young Valen had collected in such a short time.
"Do you like them? I collected them from the residence of Alpheus' parents. I hardly thought it would be right to let them rot there after the two were murdered so brutally..." Rowan sighed with contentment, flipping the pages languidly.
"...They were murdered?" Urius asked with a frown. "I suppose that is what one gets for going against the government." He grabs up a tome, thumbing through it.
"Yes, quite...seems their boy is quite traumatized. He witnessed the whole thing...I'll be keeping him in the mean time until I figure out what to do with him. Until then, perhaps you should take a look at this." Rowan's smile was radiant as he held up the weathered journal with the simple name of "Adam" on the front.
"What is that?" Urius asked, hardly seeming to understand its importance.
"It is the gateway to a project I've been working on...You know...necromancy," Rowan replied with a strange glint in his eye. Urius stiffened, his brow furrowing with sternness. This was not long after they had met Remalphia, the woman who would come to plague Urius like a demon hunched at his shoulder. How he hated her and what she was gradually doing to the person he loved...but, then again...was that her doing or his own immeasurable neglect of Rowan's obvious feelings?
Even now, Urius does not know...

~ ~ ~

"That was the beginnings of what later became CRISIS..."

 

"I see...." Death murmured softly, stroking his chin. The dark eyed god watched Urius even more intensely as his thirst for the truth became more and more urgent.

"Go on."

 

"Adam apparently knew something about Shadowshifter Puppetry...It was not enough to actually tell Rowan anything, but it was certainly enough to name someone who could. That someone Liam already had under his control...Yasunari. I met him once....He was a good man..."

~ ~ ~

"Why must we wait here so long?" Urius growled in the cold of the night, staring at the barely glowing light along the cobblestone street. He did not trust this place, hardly knowing this town somewhere in the Godforsaken realm of Godless men. Of course, he was not one who could speak, having slept multiple times with a woman he hated in order to turn her head from a person he loved. How could he even consider himself in God's grace? Perhaps vanity is not exclusive to Humans...

"It's alright, Urius...he'll be here momentarily," Rowan replies as he stands there in his long cloak, a handsome 14-year-old with eyes like sparkling green diamonds. Lately, they had begun to lose that glow...as though maturing, they gained flecks of red every now and then.
At last, there was the sight of two figures walking down the street. One quite a bit taller than the other, its white skin like fish bone in the pale light. "Ah, Yasunari...It is good to meet you at last," Rowan said at once, stepping from the shadows with a bow of his head. The tall Shadowshifter male simply let down his cloak, black hair like midnight caressing his shoulders. His eyes were clear and kind and golden.

"Lord Rowan...I am glad that I finally get to meet you. Liam has told me of your quest to save my race. I would love to help you in any way I can," Yasunari said in earnest, having an eager intelligence gleaming in his eyes. When they turned to Urius, the other felt as though he was staring into the gaze of a man blinded by idealism. He certainly wasn't in the scope of reality if he thought for a moment that Rowan was doing this solely out of charity...No, there were other things in it for him too, especially involving destroying his father's businesses one by one.

"Please, come this way, Yasunari...I hope you have brought the requested item with you," Rowan said at length, turning Yasunari back from Urius to stare into his eyes. Yasunari smiled and opened his coat a little, revealing the edge of a slip of paper. A charm...A God's charm. The one used in the CRISIS rituals to bind a soul to a body - the one that was attempted against Death to bind him to a mortal being and then destroy him as a way of giving Humans immortality.

~ ~ ~

"Rowan used the charm without hesitation...or even regret. Perhaps that was my first clue as to how far he had fallen...but I didn't want to see it. I refused, with every breath, that he could be.....well....what he is."

 

Shivering, Death continued to stare upon Urius and refused to lower his gaze. He knew those papers. He knew what they could do when used against one such as he.
And Rowan had been behind that from the very beginning.

"More." Death uttered.

~ ~ ~

The screams, the violent thrashing, the way the wedge sunk deep into the skull with such disgusting suction. It was enough to make anyone ill. Urius couldn't handle it, rushing out of the room they had designated for themselves in the slums. Such terrible horrid sounds coming from one of these run-down shacks didn't seem all that uncommon. Neither did Urius' retching in the alleyway, unable to hold back the wave after wave of revulsion that overwhelmed his very being. He felt beyond ill.
After a time, the screaming stopped and he heard footsteps on the cobblestone. His horror did not cease, turning to see Rowan standing there, a light spattering of blood upon his porcelain face....yet there was more of it in his eyes than ever before - thick red flakes, as though he had gotten some directly in his eyes and it had dried and stuck there. Urius trembled, not knowing what this feeling was. He had never feared Rowan before...He had looked down on him when they were younger, resented his weakness, and eventually came to cherish and adore it, while all the while scorning it for the sake of his own insecurities...but he had never felt fear.
"You seem surprised...You, who has done my bidding and killed without question....Why does this shock you?" The question seemed an odd one out of the context of the situation, for Urius had done so many things to keep Rowan's secrets. He had done those things out of some sick twisted love...and an even more twisted loyalty.
"...w-we....we are playing in a God's territory...this is...it's wrong. It's immoral and unnatural," Urius managed to stammer out, wiping his mouth and shivering.

He knows....

Oh, through his mind, Urius heard those words like the steady drumming of blood in his ears. Rowan KNOWS...He knows about Remalphia - the nights when that wretched whore comes stalking to his rooms like a cat on a walk. He knows about her young body easily molding to his, he thrusting madly as though he were a mad dog at a bitch in heat. That's all she is to him...a pair of legs to spread and nothing more. Something to rut with and nothing more.
But Rowan KNOWS...and that betrayal Urius can't hide with his stoic face. The shame is so much, it seeps into his eyes with little purple droplets of guilt....

~ ~ ~

Urius hangs his head, unable to say anymore at that point. He's gripping his hands so tightly, his knuckles are white.

 

A pale hand rested gently upon Urius'. He can see it when he opens his eyes. See the fingers he knows so well, with their perfectly sculpted black nails. He can remember them much smaller... tiny things that clutched at his shirt when the shadowshifter had scrambled into his lap.

How they had grown...

"Urius?" Ceata uttered softly. "Do you need a break?"

 

Urius stared at him for a long moment, having a hard time comprehending why Ceata was even still there. It didn't seem real to have those hands softly caressing him, to feel the presence of someone who did love him...but someone he hurt endlessly. No doubt his admitting these horrid things were cause for Ceata to doubt him as a lover, yet there was not even an inkling of that in the other's mismatched eyes. 

"Yes....I....I need a break," Urius says softly, his heart hurting so much. Stannis, who has been standing by the door all this time, merely scowls.

 

"Then rest, love." Ceata replied softly. Urius was not the first to make mistakes, especially not the first to make them because of love or misguided affection.  Quietly, Ceata got up and poured his mate a little bit of chilled spice wine before serving it to Death. Stannis did not look like he wanted any.